


Broken Hearts Club

by frostedpuffs



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marichat, Mutual Pining, Slightly Aged up, Slow Burn, adrien and marinette have an established friendship already in this fic, angst first, bonding over broken hearts, but boyyyy is their friendship gonna need WORK, eventually... feelings arise, lots of fluff, marinette and chat noir forming a friendship, rated T for language and kissy kissy, then we fluff, theyre like 16, this is my attempt at writing soft angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-08-29 07:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8480863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostedpuffs/pseuds/frostedpuffs
Summary: Upon confessing to their crushes, Marinette and Chat Noir both find out the hard way that those who hold the key to their hearts have affections for another. Rejected and blue, the pair find themselves in an odd sort of friendship, all while hiding the fact that they’d been the one to break the other’s heart.When feelings that hadn’t initially been within them begin to rise, they both have to come to terms with the fact that maybe the person they'd rejected means more to them than they had ever expected…(On an indefinite hiatus.)





	1. A Chance Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Here again with a new fic, and I have been super excited to get this out. While I do have other fics in the working (like a Ladynoir fic, and a reveal situation where Adrien finds out first), I wanted to start this one first. I went through eight drafts trying to get this right...and eventually just used a majority of the first one.
> 
> The support and love my first fanfic, Truthful Scars, was outstanding and it made me so happy, so I'm really looking forward to sharing this all with you. I'm here to give you a new fanfic, though—something different!
> 
> What starts as angst will eventually develop into fluff. I hope you like Marichat and friendship to lovers tropes (with Ladrien and Ladynoir on the side!)
> 
> Thanks to my friend [Mimi](http://itsnotyou-itsmimi.tumblr.com) for agreeing to be my beta!
> 
> I'll be tracking the tags #broken hearts club and #bhc on Tumblr!
> 
> You can also follow me on [my Tumblr](http://frostedpuffs.tumblr.com) for previews and art.

**Messaging - Adrien**

**4:02 A.M.:** i have to tell you something

* * *

It had started out as a joke—a silly idea thrown into the air during the late hours of the night when they really should have been sleeping.

Sleepovers were all fun and games, Marinette thought. Hardly any of the little promises she and Alya made when they stayed up past midnight were recalled in the morning, and most of the time she was thankful for that.

But this promise stuck—stirred around in her head like a mantra, insistent and particularly _annoying._

Marinette and Alya had both been so exhausted, running on their last supply of energy as the clock struck four. It was just a simple sleepover, and Marinette could pretend she'd forgotten her determined pledge once morning rolled around. She could laugh it off, make it seem as if she had merely been joking, but…

But, in all honesty, was the idea really that bad?

Would telling Adrien exactly how she felt really be that awful?

Marinette had long since come to terms with the fact that Adrien would most likely never be privy to her crush. It wasn't that she didn't want him to know—god, did she want to tell him—but somewhere deep inside of her very being, she was certain that it would do more harm than good.

Two years they had known each other and over the span of those two years, she and Adrien had become close friends.

There was no more stuttering, no awkward flailing about or strangled sentences. It had taken so much growth between the two of them for Marinette to simply get over the fact that she was _talking_ to him, let alone the idea that someday, just maybe, he would return her feelings just as strongly as she felt for him.

But that was silly, wasn't it?

She couldn't jeopardize their friendship—one she had come to appreciate just as much as Alya's—by waltzing up to him after class and declaring her love for all the world to know.

Adrien was sweet; a dear friend so oblivious to her crush that it was almost sad how badly she desired to cup his cheeks into her hands and pull him in for a kiss, just to plant the idea into his head that maybe, possibly, her feelings for him weren't as strictly platonic as he'd thought.

Marinette often wondered how soft his lips would feel against her own, or what it would be like to be swept off of her feet and held within his embrace. She wanted to know how his skin would feel beneath her fingertips as she brushed his bangs out of those summer greens; if golden strands would tickle her knuckles, or if his hair would fall right back over his eyes like a curtain once she'd removed her hand from his person. She wanted to know how his smile would taste against her own; how his laugh would feel against her neck as he buried his face within her shoulder, shy from one of the innocent compliments she kept stored within her head just in case he ever felt in need of a pick-me-up.

There were so many things Marinette already knew about Adrien, but there were thousands more little details she so desperately wished to discover.

But in the back of her mind a whisper taunted her, reminded her that she had no need to muse over Adrien's wonderful mysteries. It was a quiet insistence—the voice of reason, she presumed—and it told her, made sure she knew for certain that Adrien held nothing but platonic love for her within his heart.

It was a thought that kept her awake on lonely nights when she wanted nothing more than someone to lie next to her. Often she would think until she felt sick, or until she gave up attempting to sleep and instead toughed through an uncomfortable all-nighter. Some nights she would scream into her pillow with frustration, wondering why on Earth she was brave enough to fight akuma yet found it impossible to tell one of her best friends how she truly felt.

There were even times she would try to forget about her crush entirely… only to have it return in the morning with a vengeance of gentle eyes and a kind, kind soul.

Marinette had thought for certain that she would never be able to confess.

Four A.M. Marinette had other feelings towards the suggestion, however.

Four A.M. Marinette encouraged by her best friend Alya had a completely different mindset entirely.

In her sleep-deprived state she had made a plan, and with a smile all too calm for what she intended to do had initiated phase one of that stupid plan-

-which was to text Adrien… something that was normal at this stage of their friendship. Friends texted each other all the time. Marinette texted Adrien all the time.

She'd been texting him for a little over a year now, having acquired his number once they'd began talking a little more frequently in school (after a time where she'd invited him to her birthday party and he—along with Alya and Nino—had ended up staying the night), and they'd both undoubtedly grown closer because of it.

Which was why Marinette knew for a fact he was awake at four A.M. on a Sunday morning. Adrien was usually up early for a photoshoot or in some cases, had stayed up all night engrossed by a video game or new anime and hadn't realized just how much time had passed.

So she felt nothing but a mixture of nerves and excitement when she decided to shoot him a text.

**Messaging - Adrien**

**4:02 A.M.:** i have to tell you something

Her heart pounded, her breath came short and _god,_ her hands trembled as she held her phone within her grasp. She hadn't felt so on edge texting Adrien since they'd first messaged each other forever ago, yet the way her chest tightened and eyes shut with anticipation of his reply brought her back to her fourteen-year-old self, who had practically shot into the air every time he so much as bid her hello.

A minute passed, then two, then three, and Marinette was certain she had caught him on one of those rare nights he had gone to bed at a decent time. She was just about to bury her face within her pillow and give up when her phone vibrated—and a new message from Adrien popped up on the screen.

Her eyes narrowed as Alya let out a faint whoop.

"What does it say?" Alya asked, scooting as close as she possibly could to Marinette without completely lying on top of her. "Did you wake him up?"

With her best friend's cheek pressed against her own, Marinette mumbled, "I hope not."

**Adrien**

**4:06 A.M.:** Marinette! Why are you awake at 4 am?

Her heart jumped up to her throat as she hastily typed out a reply.

**Messaging - Adrien**

**4:06A.M.:** i could ask you the same thing

Was that rude?

Oh god, had she been rude?

Before he could respond, she panicked, smashing her thumbs against the keypad and rapidly sending the rest of her texts like there was no tomorrow.

**Messaging - Adrien**

**4:06 A.M.:** i have to tell you something

 **4:06 A.M.:** in person

 **4:06 A.M.:** on monday

 **4:06 A.M.:** goodnight!

She stared at her phone for a moment, catching her breath and wondering if he was going to respond at all to her awkward hello-goodbye… and let out a yelp as her phone notified her that he had read her messages and began typing. Breathing heavily, she tossed her phone across her bed and burrowed under her covers, curled up into a tight ball as Alya retrieved her discarded cell from the edge of the mattress before it toppled over the edge of the loft.

"I think you just confused him," Alya chuckled, "do you want to know what he said?"

Marinette shook her head from underneath the duvet. "No! Uh, yes? W-wait, no! I don't! Don't tell me!"

"He asked if you're feeling okay," Alya answered anyways, plopping down next to Marinette with a yawn. It wouldn't be long before she drifted off, leaving Marinette awake and regretting ever picking up her phone in the first place, because when Monday rolled around…she would have no choice but to confess.

"No, I'm not," Marinette sighed, pressing her face into her pillow and successfully smothering herself. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Alya laughed beside her, voice raspy from lack of sleep. "We need to go to bed."

But Marinette could only whine, squeezing her arms around the pillow that covered her face. "I _can't_ sleep _now,_ not after _that!_ What am I going to do on Monday, Alya? What if I puke on him o-or faint or get hit by a car? What if"-she sucked in a breath-"what if I _die?_ "

"Okay," Alya said, patting her on the back (or at least where she assumed it was, having difficulty finding her friend underneath the mass of blanket.) She yawned once more, removing her glasses for a moment to rub the sleep away from her eyes. "You're gonna be fine, Mar. Adrien is like, the sweetest guy ever, and I'm sure even if you happen to throw up on him—which I seriously doubt you will—he'll forgive you. Don't worry over it so much. Who knows," she added, rolling onto her side, "maybe he likes you, too."

And so with that thought in mind, Marinette lay awake underneath the protection of her duvet, blinking as darkness swam into her vision. It was incredibly late, and Alya was right—they really did need to get to sleep—but Marinette knew for a fact that rest would be difficult to attain. Her heart raced in her chest and her head spun with the possibilities of Adrien's response to her confession, weighing the pros and cons of finally admitting her crush to the boy who had held her heart for two years and counting.

Beside her she could hear Alya lightly snoring, and no matter how tempting it was to let the sweet embrace of sleep engulf her, Marinette kept her eyes wide open. If she closed them, she would only be forced to submit to her mind's undying insistence that Adrien, as kind as he was, would laugh in her face when she finally worked up the guts to let her affections be known.

She knew it would never happen.

She _knew_ Adrien was too kind to even consider laughing at her.

But her head still taunted her, and a low whine rose in her throat.

She was really, really going to do this.

Thrusting her head out from underneath her covers, Marinette pouted, stomach stirring with anxiety over the arrival of Monday. She truly did feel sick, but the headache that began to seep into her skull begged her to lay still and _sleep._ Marinette wanted to sleep. She wanted to curl up next to her best friend and rest her eyes, wanted to sleep for hours and hours and even past Monday.

Yet, as she felt her eyelids begin to droop from exhaustion, she couldn't help but allow a twinge of excitement—no matter how small it was—to spark within her chest.

 _Maybe this won't be so bad,_ she told herself, snuggling into her pillows and pressing her back against Alya's. _Maybe it'll be a good thing. Maybe…maybe Adrien will scoop me up and kiss me._

Her lips curled upwards into a smile, mind thick with sleep.

_Maybe…maybe Monday will be amazing._

* * *

 "Nope," Marinette squeaked, backing away from the classroom door with eyes as wide as the moon. She bumped into Alya, who gave her a gentle push towards their homeroom. Marinette had to repress a screech of protest. "No! No, no! I changed my mind! I'm not doing this, Alya!"

But Alya wasn't having it. "Marinette, you've already avoided Adrien all morning and left him looking like an abandoned puppy at the front of the school when you ran in without him. He's your _friend;_ you can talk to him!"

"I can't!" Marinette cried out, voice cracking. "Don't make me go in there, Alya, I-"

But she'd already been pushed into the classroom.

And-

And _oh no,_ Adrien was _right there._

Right there, watching her with wide eyes as Alya, her best friend whom she'd loved and trusted with all of her heart, forced her into the classroom and right in front of her crush himself.

_Oh no, no, no, I'm going to trip!_

Just as she'd expected, Marinette stumbled, losing her footing the moment her eyes connected with the warmth of green. She squawked, one foot kicking the other and sending her balance to be thrown off, causing her to trip and tumble forwards, most likely towards the floor where she'd receive a concussion and have to go home and cry in defeat-

-but she didn't hit the floor. She didn't fall to the ground, or break her nose.

No—she landed straight into Adrien's arms.

And when his hands wrapped around her waist and held her into place, Marinette knew she never, ever wanted him to let go.

"Woah," Adrien laughed, helping her stand up straight with his hands positioned on her shoulders. Such big hands. "You okay, Mari?"

Her heart skipped a beat at the way her name fell from his lips. She held in a sigh, managing a shaky smile at the nickname only he'd given her. His voice was so soft, and that name— _her_ nickname—sounded so sweet on his tongue. She could only let out a meek "I-I'm fine," before the heat of a blush began to creep its way along her cheeks and she swore she was nothing but a puddle on the floor.

When Adrien returned her smile, he glanced to the person behind her, hands still placed gently upon her shoulders. "What'd Alya push you for? You could have gotten hurt."

Marinette turned her head for a moment to give a mock-glare to her best friend, who at least appeared to be apologetic. Alya mouthed a "sorry" and shrugged her shoulders. "She was just playing around," Marinette said, "I'm okay."

"Oh." Adrien blinked, grinning at Alya with a raised eyebrow. "Alya, be gentle with Marinette. She's smaller than the rest of us."

"Hey!" Placing her hands on her hips, Marinette's smile grew twice its size at her friend's gentle teasing. Of course the tallest out of their friend group would joke about her size; he was almost a foot taller than she was! "I'll have you know, Agreste, that while I may be the smallest, I can most definitely kick all your butts."

Adrien held his hands up in defense, smirking down at her with a look that made Marinette feel as if she should have been patrolling the streets of Paris instead of standing in a classroom. "I don't doubt it. I haven't forgotten about last week."

Nino slid into his seat behind them, a laugh rising from his lips as he chimed in to the conversation. "Marinette straight-up tackled you, dude."

"I know." Adrien crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side as he looked her up and down. "She's stronger than she looks."

"I had to!" Marinette fought back, cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "Y-you stole my beanie! And then you ran with it!"

"To be fair, it had cat ears on it."

Marinette shook her head, laughter in her voice. "Your love for cats does not justify theft, Adrien."

"Hmm," Adrien hummed, placing his hand on his chin as if he appeared to be deep in thought. "No, I guess it doesn't. I'll ask next time before I try to wear your accessories, Mari."

" _Steal_ them _,_ you mean," she corrected as she slid into her seat next to Alya (who wore a grin all too wide), sticking her tongue out at the blond boy who could only chuckle at her expression before sitting at his own desk. God, if fourteen-year-old Marinette somehow looked into the future saw herself now, joking with Adrien and actually being able to hold a _conversation,_ she would faint from the sheer shock of it!

At the idea, Marinette felt a pleasant heat begin to rise within her chest, warming her far better than her jacket could ever hope to. It filled her from the inside out, made her smile so wide that she had to hide her mouth behind the back of her gloved hand. Just the thought of being _friends_ with Adrien, knowing him well enough to be considered one of his _best_ friends, made her positively giddy even after almost two years of their companionship. Her and Adrien really _had_ grown closer. Closer than she had ever expected them to be.

When she'd invited him to her fifteenth birthday party, Marinette had expected him to decline or at best stay only for an hour or two, but…

But Adrien had stayed for _hours,_ remaining even after the majority of the guests had gone home. He'd been so happy, so full of energy and excited to simply be with friends that he did not _want_ to leave. He was content to sit on her couch and lose at video games, even when her parents had gone to bed and the four of them—Marinette, Adrien, Nino and Alya—noticed that it had grown incredibly late.

It'd become somewhat of a sleepover, and after an unhealthy amount of snacks and games, they'd all fallen asleep in a heap on Marinette's bedroom floor. It was around three that Adrien had awoken with an urge to satisfy his sweet tooth, so he and Marinette had gone downstairs to the kitchen and eaten cupcakes in the dark.

The evidence had been on Adrien's face the following morning when they'd both been awoken after falling asleep together on the couch.

Although it was only a little over a year ago, a wonderful friendship between them had blossomed, and gradually Marinette's stutters had disappeared.

(For the most part, anyways.)

After that night, it hadn't take long for Marinette to realize that Adrien Agreste was much less of an intimidating heartthrob of a model and more of a dorky kid who really loves sweets and video games. He was still pretty dang cute, though.

Now they talked with ease, texted often, even playfully teased each other at times. It was a wonder to Marinette why she let herself be nervous around him for so long. She regretted not inviting him over for a sleepover sooner. Who would've known that the guy she'd hardly been able to form a coherent sentence around would turn out to be the same boy that cried last week when being shown videos of kittens because they were just too _cute?_ Or that he had an affinity for puns and cheesy romance movies, and couldn't sleep in a room that was completely dark?

Marinette smiled, scribbling little hearts onto her sheet of paper. Learning those details about Adrien only had her falling about a _thousand_ times harder.

She glanced up at him for a moment, watching as he jotted down notes from a lecture their teacher was giving. Marinette knew she really should have been paying attention, but…how could she, with the thought that sometime that day, she was going to confess her feelings to the very boy in front of her?

(The very, very cute boy who also happened to be one of her closest friends.)

While she seldom stuttered around her crush, Marinette still struggled every now and then with forming the right words or spitting out exactly what she wanted to say. Asking Adrien for a pencil or getting help with homework didn't phase her, but trying to tell him that she thought he looked cute on a particular day, or that she loved his outfit?

She couldn't. Her tongue would flop and her feet would shuffle, or her eyes wouldn't meet his as her cheeks flushed a rosy shade of pink.

Maybe telling him how she felt wasn't as easy as she had psyched it up to be…

 _No!_ Her subconscious fought back, _don't worry over it too much. Maybe Adrien feels the same and is too shy to tell you!_ _Maybe he's waiting on_ you _to say something!_

Marinette rolled her eyes. _I doubt it._

Still, the idea of Adrien liking her lingered within her mind, poked at her in a way that begged her to acknowledge the possibility.

What if…

What if Adrien _was_ waiting on her to say something first? What if—for some stupid, crazy reason—Adrien had been crushing on her this whole time and hadn't even bothered to mention it?

Could he be just as nervous about his feelings as she was?

No—that wasn't possible.

Was it?

"Marinette, could you repeat what I just said?"

Jolting slightly in her seat, Marinette snapped her gaze up to her teacher, who stood with his hands on his hips and seemed not at all pleased with her spacing out. Right—this particular teacher didn't take kindly to those who slacked off.

Instructors in lycée weren't as nearly forgiving as they had been in collége.

"Um," she squeaked out, "uh…"

_Nope, sorry teach. I've got nothing._

As her teacher simply shook his head and went back to writing information on the board, Marinette sighed.

It was going to be a long, long day.

* * *

 Classes dragged on. Marinette took notes when she could and tried her hardest to pay attention, she really did, but the unrelenting anxiety that tugged at the pit of her stomach made it difficult for her to do much of anything other than worry.

The day was drawing to a close, her final class having only ten minutes left before it was over. Which normally wouldn't pose as much of a problem, but today was different—today she'd vowed to confess to Adrien. She had beaten it into her own head that she was going to do it, that she wouldn't give up, that she wouldn't be too scared, but-

But the day was almost over, and she still hadn't said more to him than their conversation that morning.

It wasn't like she hadn't tried, of course. Just earlier on their lunch break, she'd approached him (after some encouragement from Alya) with the intent on asking him to talk and telling him right then. She had planned it from from every class, from the second they were let out to lunch and for nearly the entirety of the break—and even from the final moment before, she had been _certain_ she was going to tell him them.

But her hands had grown sweaty, and her legs had trembled and her voice had caught in her throat and _oh,_ it had been too much.

She'd simply regarded him with an awkward hello and went on her way.

It was embarrassing, to say to least: walking up to Adrien, calling his name, and then panicking before squeaking out a hello and running away like a mouse afraid of a cat was certainly a reaction she hadn't had around him since she was fourteen.

And here she was thinking she'd gotten past that stage...

Wasn't she and Adrien better friends, now? She didn't need to feel scared around him!

But she _had._ And she had chickened out and fled, completely forgoing her plans that she'd been psyching herself up all day for.

And she had failed.

She'd _failed._

But it wasn't too late! She could still do this!

As the red hand of the clock ticked down second to second, Marinette's heart was racing, her breath coming in short, silent gasps. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and snuck a glance at the messages that appeared in her inbox.

**Alya**

**4:27 P.M.:** u can do it girl!

 **4:27 P.M.:** I BELIEVE IN U MAR

Marinette snorted, managing a smile at her friend's words. At least they filled her with a last spark of confidence.

As the final bell for the day rang, Marinette shoved her supplies into her schoolbag and heaved it over her shoulder, walking—or, stalking, rather—out of the classroom with the intent on finding the boy who'd stolen her heart.

She could do this.

She wouldn't shy away this time.

If she could protect Paris from villains on a weekly basis, then telling Adrien, her _friend,_ her very, very _close_ friend, that she had a crush on him should be no problem.

Marinette had made up her mind, searching desperately around the courtyard with eyes like a hawk. The slightest movement caught her attention, any step forward like prey to her vision.

And then she saw him, that familiar dazzling smile across his gorgeous face as he gave Nino a wave and made his way out to the front of the school. His driver had probably already arrived to pick him up, but- no!

He couldn't leave! She wanted to talk to him, needed to!

Shooting a quick text to Alya that informed her not to wait up, Marinette paused against a brick pillar of the school, taking a deep, deep breath and blowing it out slowly.

This was it.

In just a few minutes, she'd confess to Adrien and know exactly how he felt about her.

No turning back now.

"You can do it, Marinette," Tikki's tiny voice squeaked, her head peeking out from the pink flaps of her purse. "You're Ladybug, remember? You've got this."

Marinette smiled gratefully down at her kwami, giving her tiny head a scratch. "Thanks, Tikki. You're the best."

Tikki winked at her Chosen before retreating back inside her hiding spot, tucked away where prying eyes couldn't see.

Tikki was right. She was Ladybug. She could _do_ this.

If she could leap across buildings with nothing other than a yo-yo and take down akuma that sometimes grew over ten feet tall, then telling her crush that she liked him shouldn't be more than a simple task. Sure, Adrien was handsome, kind, sweet, smart, talented… And such a gentleman…but...

But…

...She'd had a point to that track of thought.

No matter. She could still confess, even if Adrien was one of the most amazing guys she'd ever met.

Letting out a final breath, Marinette adjusted her purse around her shoulder and walked off, following the sight of sunny blond hair and a white coat. She had to catch him, she had to- she- she…

She was _scared_.

She stopped for only a moment, thinking, calming herself, fallen leaves crunching under her feet as they moved again, because no- she wouldn't let fear hold her back—wouldn't let the dark shadow of the possibility of rejection hang over her head.

_No rain clouds today, Marinette. Only sunshine._

And that sunshine just happened to be Adrien.

"Marinette?"

Marinette paused just before she collided into Adrien for the second time that day. Looking up, she froze in her spot, eyes wide in surprise. Had she really been so lost in thought that she hadn't even realized that she was mere inches from receiving a face-full of Adrien's chest?

Adrien chuckled, smiling down at her like a beacon of warmth. "You alright?"

Marinette swallowed. _No, I'm not alright. I'm standing here wanting to just grab you and kiss you and tell you that I love you but I feel like I'm going to faint._

"...Yeah," she replied after a moment, not quite satisfied with her answer. "I think so. I just…have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?"

Silly Adrien, if only it was that easy. She couldn't just straight up tell him right then and there, right?

...Right?

Marinette shook her head in an attempt to clear her senses. Adrien smelled too nice and looked too cute for her to think properly at the moment. Instead of giving him an answer, she decided to change the subject. "Heading home?"

"Oh." Adrien glanced to the street, watching for a moment as a river of brown leaves rolled across the pavement. "Yeah. I was going to walk today, actually. It's cool out."

Well, that was certainly true. The end of October brought chills and dead leaves of all shades, and soon enough, if it was one of those rare winter seasons, might even bring snow, as well. Marinette never had liked the cold, and her dislike for it was only justified by her alter-ego. Ladybugs surely didn't care for winter, and Marinette was no exception to that.

"Kind of cold," Marinette replied. She wrapped her arms around herself just as a breeze blew in and chilled her right to the bone. "You like colder weather?"

Adrien offered a shrug in return, beginning to walk down the street and motioning with his head for her to follow. Marinette obliged, smiling all while he did. "I like being able to dress in warm clothes. They're comfortable."

"Like the beanie?" Marinette teased, earning a smirk from her friend in return.

"Yes," he laughed, ruffling her hair (much to her distress.) "Like the beanie."

"Hey!" Marinette shot him a playful frown as she fixed the mess that was her bangs. They walked down the street in silence for a few moments, Marinette fiddling with her fingers as they passed the bakery and began heading in the direction of Adrien's house. He was bound to notice she wasn't heading home just yet—she did have to speak to him, after all—but he had yet to mention it.

Maybe he'd forgotten about her text from early yesterday morning?

Maybe he wouldn't-

"You gonna walk home with me, Mari?"

_Fuck._

Her cheeks reddened as she puffed out a breath of frost, giving her friend an innocent smile. "If you don't mind."

Adrien only smiled in return and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his coat. "I don't mind. It's better than walking alone."

 _Oh, Adrien,_ Marinette sighed in thought, _you don't ever have to be alone._

It was a good thing his hands were in his pockets, or else she might have reached out and grabbed one.

A quiet stretched between them, neither uncomfortable nor awkward as they made a peaceful journey through the streets of Paris. The Agreste mansion wasn't far, and Marinette knew if she wanted to confess to Adrien that day she had to do it _soon,_ lest she face the wrath of Alya later.

(Okay, maybe the wrath of regret instead.)

She had to do this today. She had to, she _had_ to-

"Hey, Marinette?"

She swallowed, lifting her gaze from the leaves beneath her boots to the boy walking next to her. "Hm?"

"You, uh…" Adrien kicked a stray pebble across the sidewalk, green eyes meeting blue. "You said you had something to tell me today?"

"Ahh," Marinette said, nibbling at her bottom lip. So he _did_ remember. "I did, didn't I?"

"Saturday night."

"Technically, Sunday morning."

Adrien rolled his eyes, stepping on a particularly crunchy leaf and grinning at the sound. "Yeah, Sunday morning. You seemed kind of nervous about it." His eyes softened as he met her own, and that familiar kind look Marinette had grown to love so much glowed within his gaze. "Everything alright?"

Marinette could only shrug. _Was_ everything alright?

Yes, she was fine, but…

But would telling Adrien this information—her feelings—change their friendship?

 _Of course it will,_ her subconscious screamed at her. _You're about to tell Adrien you're in_ love _with him; there's no way it won't!_

Her stomach churned uncomfortably in a way that made her feel sick with nerves. She fiddled with her fingers, trying to ignore the anxiety that bubbled within her chest, but it wasn't really working. Marinette was sure if she tried to get the words out, she would either throw up or cry- or maybe both?

A car whizzed past the pair, causing a breeze to tousle their hair and leaves to fly up into the air in a brown, crisp cloud. Marinette shivered, rubbing her gloved hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself, but Adrien...

Adrien was laughing, smiling like a child on Christmas day as the leaves scattered around the two of them. They landed in his hair, in her own, and danced in the sky before fluttering like birds to the ground, scattered along the sidewalk and street.

God, she loved that sound.

Adrien's laughter was like music to her ears. That boy needed to smile more, laugh often.

He needed to smile so much _more._

Because of his contagious laughter, Marinette giggled in return, kicking up a puff of leaves with her boots. They rose up for a moment before falling onto Adrien's orange converse, and in turn he kicked them back, grinning as the leaves crunched under their shoes and whirled into the air around their legs.

Marinette felt like a kid stirring up leaves with Adrien along the sidewalk, but at the moment, she didn't care; not about the gust of dead leaves that flew around her feet, or the stares the two of them received as they played a childish game of chase down the streets. They laughed and laughed, and Adrien smiled so _wide_ that Marinette couldn't help but feel a burst of love fill her entire body _._ This was her friend, one of her _best_ friends, and he was so happy, so full of joy and laughter and light that she swore she could chase him forever. She would chase him forever if she could.

She would love him forever, if he allowed it.

Their game came to a stop as they skidded still in front of Adrien's mansion, having run out of leaves to crunch below their heels and, unfortunately, time. Adrien was home, now, and Marinette had completely forgotten for just a moment that she was supposed to be talking to him—supposed to be confessing her feelings.

But they were both so happy. She didn't want to ruin that.

Maybe...

Maybe it _wouldn't_ ruin it…

Perhaps, if she let her heart hope for just a moment, telling Adrien that she'd been crushing on him since she was fourteen would only make his smile grow. Perhaps…he would be excited to hear that.

Marinette had waited all day to tell him. Why back out now?

There was no reason for her to. Alya was right; Adrien was too sweet to be rude to her, and he certainly appeared to be in a wonderful mood at the moment, albeit slightly out of breath.

She should do it, she should, she _would_ -

"Well," Adrien said, taking a moment to catch his breath before shooting her that dazzling smile. "This is me. Thanks for walking me home, Mari."

"Oh," Marinette breathed, nodding. Right, yes, right- Adrien was home now, and he was probably going to go inside, most likely forgetting that she had something to tell him before it was too late. She could go home now if she wanted. She could pretend that she'd never had something to confess.

But that would make her a coward, wouldn't it?

She'd been planning this since Sunday morning. Alya had been so excited for her, so _proud_ , and given Marinette such a wonderful feeling of friendship that, god, if she didn't tell Adrien _now…_ she would feel awful, and- and probably never work up the guts to tell him ever again.

She had to. She had to _now_.

"Adrien," Marinette began, feeling her heart race in her chest. Wind chilled her cheeks as it blew past them, wisps of black hair kissing her skin. It was now or never, and Adrien was _right_ _there_. "I, um, did have something to tell you, actually."

Loosening the scarf around his neck—the blue scarf she would always recognize—Adrien smiled, giving her a nod. "Yeah?"

Oh, god.

Could she really do this…?

_Yes! Yes, I can!_

Adrien was her friend. Even if he didn't feel the same, he wouldn't hurt her. He'd never hurt her. He would let her down gently and they would go about their day without a hindrance to their friendship.

Granted, Marinette might cry a little, but it was better to know the truth rather than to spend her life wondering, right?

"Adrien, I..." Marinette sighed, looking up at him through her lashes. This was something she was allowed to feel shy about, after all. "I'm sorry to spring this on you right now, b-but…it's been bugging me all day. And I need-" Her heart would not stop _pounding._ "-I need to tell you. I need to tell you because it's been two years and I…"

She didn't dare look up at his face.

"...I've been hiding something," she confessed.

Granted, that probably wasn't the best way to word it judging by the way Adrien's eyebrows practically shot up into his hairline, but…what else could she say?

"Hiding something?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice. He leaned in closer, as if she was about to share a dark secret he'd been privy to—as if she was about to admit she'd killed a man.

"It's not bad!" She was quick to correct herself, voice cracking as it increased in volume. "I've just been meaning to tell you something and I've been trying so _hard_ all day but I'm scared and afraid you'll think I'm weird or not want to be friends anymore and oh, I've been keeping this a secret from you for too long, and now I'm rambling-"

A gentle hand on her shoulder ceased her babbling, calming her nerves from a crashing waterfall to an easy flowing river. "Hey," Adrien said in a voice that was too, too soft for her heart to handle. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin. "Slow down, Mari. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she answered, cupping her hands together, thumbs fidgeting nervously with each other. "I think I just need to spit it out."

"Spit what out?"

He sounded so caring…

Could she really tell him, while he was so worried about her wellbeing?

A small poke from inside her purse gave Marinette the last ounce of courage she needed. Closing her eyes, she held her breath for one, two, three seconds…then let it out.

"I probably could have done this at a better time," she sighed, knowing very well that he was most likely wanting to go inside and get out of the cold. "But, I-... Adrien, I… I-" Was it normal to feel like she was going to throw up? Was that the expected feeling when confessing to a person? "I- I…! Ihaveacrushonyou!"

Silence.

Her heart beat loudly in her ears, chest burning.

"Come again?" Adrien asked, cocking his head to the side. Did he have to smile so sweetly? "Sorry, Marinette, I didn't quite catch that. You said it so fast."

Oh, hell.

Well…there was no use shying away now. If she'd said it once, she could say it again, no matter how much it pained her to let the words slip from her lips a second time.

Why, why was this so _hard?_

Gripping the bottom of her jacket, Marinette let her eyes meet his summer greens, which filled her with a burst of pure affection for this wonderful, amazing boy. _Adrien,_ the boy who made her heart race a million miles in her chest and the boy who she had fallen so, so hard for.

Adrien...the boy who she so badly wanted to have fallen for her in return.

There was only one way she'd know for sure.

"I said," Marinette whispered, voice growing quiet yet all the more determined. "I said I…I have a crush on you, Adrien. I've had one for such a long time now, and I…I needed to tell you. I needed to-" She swallowed, gaze downcast. This was so much harder than she'd ever imagined it would be. "-to know how you feel about _me._ "

She heard an intake of breath and, as she struggled to find the courage to look up, she hoped, _prayed_ that she would see the warm smile she had grown to love so, so much when she finally shifted her eyes from the floor.

But her shoulder which had been so blessed by his touch moments ago suddenly grew too cold, and somewhere deep inside the pit of her being a prickling of anxiety was telling her that something had gone very, very _wrong_.

Adrien was too quiet.

He wasn't-

He wasn't _supposed_ to be quiet, but-

But he _was._

And that—that was what began to tear Marinette apart.

"...Marinette," Adrien said after a moment, tone soft, delicate; as if he was afraid of breaking an already cracking surface. "Mari..."

Oh, no- no, his _voice…_

 _Don't sound like that,_ her mind begged, _don't sound so full of regret, please._

But he did, and it hurt. It _hurt._

Knowing exactly where this was going, Marinette hung her head in defeat, eyes burning with the threat of tears. But she wouldn't cry in front of him. She couldn't do that, couldn't show that this was already slowly killing her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than crying in front of her crush.

"Mari, I…I'm flattered, really," continued Adrien, "but…"

And there it was.

" _But."_

It was like acid to her heart, a poison that tasted bitter on her tongue.

"But I- I'm not sure I-" A sigh blew from his lips as he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, his touch light, apologetic. Marinette could only let him hold her at the moment—there was no way she could brave the pain that would come with looking at his face. "...I'm sorry, Marinette. There's…I have feelings for someone-"

"It's okay," she breathed, voice cracked. She didn't want him to finish that sentence, _couldn't_ let him, lest jealousy take over her already trembling body. "Don't be sorry, Adrien, it's…it's alright."

Swallowing around the lump in her throat that made the waver in her voice all the more prominent, Marinette fought against the tears that begged to spill from her burning eyes. She knew Adrien was watching her. She could feel his warm gaze upon her, gentle and caring—yet she couldn't find the strength within herself to even spare him a glance. It would tear open the already bleeding wound that had shredded her heart.

"Can we still be friends?" Adrien asked, sounding so far away.

Was he afraid that she'd hate him for this? Blame him for not feeling the same?

It wasn't his fault that he didn't return her feelings. It wouldn't be right for her to be upset with him because of that. Adrien had his affections elsewhere, for some other girl she hadn't met—or, at least, she assumed she hadn't—and that was okay. Nobody can help who they fall in love with.

Not Adrien. Not even herself.

An icy wind blew right through her.

"Of course I still want to be friends with you," she said after a moment, voice surprisingly calm even as she was crumbling inside. Forcing a smile to her face, she placed a hand over one of his, which cupped her shoulder in a touch so soft that it let her know how truly sorry he was. "I wouldn't throw away our friendship over a silly crush, Adrien…"

Their eyes met then, a look shared between them. Green eyes full of regret burned back at her own, heavy and full of a thousand apologies Marinette wanted to wash away.

Adrien should not have been feeling sorry for her.

It almost made her angry, the way he was looking at her as if she was some injured puppy that had been left to die in the streets of Paris.

Marinette was not incapable of surviving without his love. She would hurt, yes, and there would be buckets of tears, but she would move on. She was Ladybug, after all, amazing on her own—and being without a boy's love wouldn't change that.

"Please don't look at me like that," Marinette whispered, settling her sad blues back on the concrete below her feet. Leaves blew past her boots, and the sight of them was much less fun than it had been a few minutes prior. "I'm not mad at you, Adrien."

He was silent for a moment, frozen and hesitant, his hand releasing his grip on her shoulder a second later. Marinette feared he might walk away, might leave her to shatter into pieces along the sidewalk. It was irrational for her to even think such a thing, because deep down inside she knew he _wouldn't_ —but the fear still nagged at her, bubbled at the pit of her stomach and made her feel sick.

Maybe it would be for the best: Adrien shrugging her off and walking through the gates of his mansion without a second thought. He didn't need to see her at her worst.

Adrien should have just left right then and let her go home to cry. It would spare her the embarrassment of breaking down in front of him, anyways. He did not need to see her cry. Not after he already felt bad enough for simply telling her the truth.

 _Go,_ Marinette's mind said what her lips wouldn't. _Please, just go. Go home._

As if Adrien had read her thoughts, he shifted, and for a split second Marinette was sure he was about to open the gate, but-

But then he did something unexpected, something Marinette had only imagined would happen if he'd been happy about her confession; something that made her nerves spark and heart jump wildly in her chest simply because she could _feel_ him.

Adrien had wrapped her in a hug.

And not just any hug—a hug that was so warm and so _needed_ that it took all of Marinette's self control (and then some) not to just burst into tears right then and there. His arms were tight around her, squeezing her in a hold that made her want to bury her face into the crook of his neck and cry for hours. He smelled sweet, welcoming, like some expensive fruity shampoo she imagined cost more than the clothes she was wearing. The only word her mind could compare his hug to was _heartfelt_ and god, she didn't ever want him to pull away.

It only took her a brief moment for her to realize that she should have been hugging back.

Her arms weaved around his torso, face buried within his chest. He was so warm…

It was too much. It was all just too much.

The tears she had fought back with such vigor broke free, beading down her cheeks and dampening her skin. No noises accompanied her sorrow, however; not a whimper or a sniffle. Just tears. Salty, shameful tears.

As Adrien's head rested atop her own, she could feel wisps of blond hair tickling her forehead, sunny and soft just like the boy the strands were attached to. Marinette was sure he couldn't tell she was crying—at least, not yet—and she intended to keep it that way. He didn't need to know how badly this was really hurting her. It'd only hurt him in return.

Adrien was a person of good heart. Marinette knew he couldn't stand the thought of hurting another's feelings, especially one of his friend's, so if he found out that he had succeeded in making her _cry?_ Well…

She might not have been the only one shedding tears that afternoon.

Taking a deep breath, Marinette broke away from the hug no matter how it pained her to do so. Holding on to something that wasn't hers would only cause her to grow more attached, and all she needed right then was to get away, to stop loving him and to stop craving his touch.

But he made it so hard.

Quickly wiping her tears with her sleeve, she sniffled, fighting the urge to whimper and run home. She was stronger than this. She could deal with the pain of rejection.

After a moment of silence she lifted her eyes from the pavement and met those of her crush, only to find that he wasn't looking at her at all. Hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, he shuffled his feet, gaze lowered to his shoes as if he was finding it difficult to conjure up the right words to say.

"Mari," he breathed, flicking his eyes to her own. His voice sounded so…so _sad_ , like he couldn't stand the fact that he was breaking her heart—like he wished he could feel the same about her just so he wouldn't hurt her. "I'm sorry."

 _Great, I've gone and made him sad,_ Marinette thought, mentally kicking herself. She'd stupidly made Adrien feel bad about not liking her just because she couldn't control her own emotions. What kind of asshole makes _Adrien Agreste,_ actual sweet kitten, feel _bad?_

"Don't apologize," she said, voice cracked with sorrow. "You have nothing to apologize for, Adrien."

"But I-"

"Don't, Adrien. It's okay. I'm…I'm okay." A lie, but one that would be true within time. Forcing a smile to her face, Marinette placed a hand atop Adrien's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, one that was light yet firm in a silent promise that she would be alright.

Eventually…she would be alright.

"You don't…" he paused to swallow, green eyes falling to the floor. His voice wavered as he spoke. "You don't hate me now, do you?"

Hate-

 _Hate_ him?

How on _Earth_ could she possibly feel hatred for him? Why would he even think such a thing?

Not having her crush reciprocated wouldn't destroy their friendship, and certainly not her respect for him!

"Adrien, no!" Marinette gasped, shaking her head with such insistence that it almost made her dizzy. "No, no, of course I don't- I don't hate you! Don't think that!"

But by the look on his face—a look so scared and weary—Marinette knew that was all he feared: being hated by one of his best friends simply because he didn't share her feelings.

"Adrien," continued Marinette, placing both of her hands on his shoulders and staring up at him with warmth in her gaze. "It's okay. I promise. I don't hate you, I could never h-hate- I- I love-"

.. _.you._

She cringed at her own slip of the tongue.

Adrien seemed to have noticed it as well, judging by the way his expression fell, fear turned to utter distress. He was already feeling bad enough about rejecting her, but with Marinette almost letting those three intimate words free, she could only imagine how much worse it had made the situation. How much worse it must have made him feel.

It was as if he was taking this harder than she was.

"I'm sorry, Marinette," he whispered, stepping away from her touch. "I think- I think maybe…we should both go home."

Words which stung deeper than his rejection.

"Right," Marinette breathed, nodding as she took a step back. "Right, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Adrien."

Adrien frowned, squeezing a part of his scarf that hung in front of his chest. He gave her a smile—not a real smile, of course; the smile he only used when he needed to. His model smile.

A _fake_ smile.

"Yeah," he replied, nodding once before turning to the keypad at the gate. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and Mari?"

Marinette met his eyes one last time.

Voice soft and eyes gentle, Adrien smiled, a _real_ smile for just a moment as he said, "I…I think you're really amazing, and really brave and sweet, and you're one of my best friends. I hope…I hope we can continue to be as close as we are."

Swallowing around the lump in her throat, Marinette nodded. "Me too."

At least their friendship wouldn't falter.

Hopefully.

After a painful bout of silence, Marinette watched Adrien give her a final wave before walking through the gate and, as she wiped away a final tear, begin his ascent up the stairs.

Welp.

It was time to go home.

The walk wasn't pleasant. The chill of autumn air nipped at her skin in an uncomfortable prickle and the breeze blew right through her clothes, leaving her shivering and cold. Leaves crunched under her boots, which was anything but satisfying, crumbling to tiny dry pieces that danced away in the breeze.

Memories from mere minutes ago when they'd chased each other along the very street she currently walked on played in her head, and they were nothing but painful. They stung, much like the cold, and squeezed at her heart.

The leaves were no longer fun to run through.

Above, an overcast had crawled in, blotting out the sky in a mass of gray clouds. It was probably going to rain, Marinette figured, turning a corner and ignoring the way her eyes burned with the desire to leak.

No tears. No tears just yet.

No crying.

No…no-

"Stop it," she hissed at herself as a tear snuck free, quickly wiping it before it could slide down her cheek. "You're stronger than this. No crying."

It was too hard. Her heart felt too small.

For the walk home, Marinette allowed herself to be weak.

* * *

 "Are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

Marinette shook her head at Alya's offering. Although her mother had made dinner, she couldn't bring herself to feel very hungry. Her stomach felt sick and her head pounded from the aftermath of her tears. She'd been crying since she came home, and now her eyes felt as if they were deserts, burning and red and so, so heavy.

"I'm okay," Marinette whispered, voice cracked and stuffy. "Thanks though."

Alya sighed besides her, rubbing her back up and down with a gentle hand and adjusting the blanket so that it covered her friend up to her shoulders. Reaching to the end of the bed, she grabbed a handful of tissues and held them out to Marinette with a frown. "Here, girl."

"Thanks." Sniffling, Marinette blew her nose into the tissues and sighed, feeling incredibly exhausted after the day she'd had. The first thing she had done when she'd walked through the back door of the bakery (so her parents wouldn't see her crying) was run up to her room and shut and lock the door before bursting into a fit of tears and calling Alya a moment later.

Alya…

Marinette couldn't understand how she'd been blessed with such an amazing friend.; a friend who listened to her blubber over the phone and rushed over with tissues, blankets and all of her favorite movies and snacks. She had rubbed her back, held her when she sobbed, and let her cry and cry without ever asking for anything in return.

The thought managed to sneak a tiny smile upon Marinette's face.

"Alya?" She yawned, rubbing at her damp eyes. "You're going to be my best friend forever."

A chuckle rose from beside her and Marinette's smile only grew when she was enveloped in a tight hug. "Aw, Marinette," Alya said, "I love you too, girl."

"I mean it." Turning, Marinette wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a squeeze, burying her head within the crook of her shoulder. "You've let me whine all day long and have been so patient with me. What did I do to deserve you?"

Her question only made Alya hug her tighter before pulling back to gaze at her tear-stained face. "You're you. And that's enough for me. Now, come on," she said, flipping over the pillow spotted with damp mascara and patting it. "If you're not going to eat, at least get some sleep. You're exhausted."

Truthfully, Marinette was far more than exhausted, but she didn't know if it was possible for her to even sleep at all. With all of the thoughts racing in her head, memories of Adrien's gentle rejection, her heart and head hurt too much for her to do much of anything. She couldn't just lay awake in the dark. She'd cry all night long.

But…Alya would be there with her. And if she cried, that would be okay. Crying was all she really needed right now. Alya wouldn't judge her for that.

Sighing for the hundredth time that day, Marinette nodded and went to wipe her eyes, but frowned as a streak of black smudged across her knuckles. "Oh, great," she grumbled, "I probably look like a raccoon."

"Hold on."

Alya climbed down from the loft and left the room for just a moment before returning, motioning with her finger for Marinette to scoot forward once she'd sat back on the bed. Marinette obeyed, sitting directly in front of her friend and managing a small smile as she began to wipe her face clean of makeup. The wipes were cool against her skin, and her face felt lighter after the blotches of mascara and eyeliner were removed.

"Thanks," whispered Marinette once Alya had finished. Completely fatigued, she laid down and curled up underneath the warmth of her covers, burying her face within the clean side of her pillow. It was soft, comforting; a welcoming cloud that made her feel about a thousand times more tired. Before she let herself sleep, though, she peeked open an eye at her best friend and asked, "Are you going to stay?"

"Of course I am," Alya replied, having already turned out the light and slipping underneath the covers. "I wouldn't leave you alone when you're feeling like this."

Marinette wanted to smile, but she simply had no energy left within her body. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, Marinette. Try to sleep, okay?"

Nodding, Marinette closed her drooping eyes. "Okay… Goodnight, Alya."

"Goodnight."

She thought she could fall asleep. She figured it would be easy with how tired she was.

But, much like eating was impossible when upset, sleeping just happened to be even more so.

And when Marinette closed her eyes, she-

" _...I'm sorry, Marinette. There's…I have feelings for someone-"_

_...Someone else._

-she wanted to cry, but there were no tears left to let loose.

Marinette wasn't sure how long she lay awake with anxieties dancing in her thoughts. Her stomach twisted, her head throbbed and her nostrils felt completely caked, body protesting consciousness after her fit of hopeless sobs. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to, _needed_ to, but no matter how hard she tried…

She just couldn't.

Had it been minutes? Hours? Or perhaps only seconds?

Marinette didn't know.

Judging by Alya's slow breathing next to her, it had probably been quite some time.

 _I can't sleep,_ she said to herself, _I won't sleep. I can't._

She had to, but- but- but she _couldn't_ -

"Ugh," she hissed, slipping out from underneath her covers and sitting up with a quiet groan. Her room was too stuffy; she needed some fresh air to clear her head.

Climbing up to her terrace, Marinette heaved a heavy sigh and dragged her feet to the railing, where she leaned her arms on the cool metal surface. It was damp with dew and cold, but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

She couldn't find herself caring about anything at the moment.

Wiping a final tear that strayed down her cheek, Marinette looked to her side, only to jump, startled—because a pair of delicate green eyes were watching her, sad and full of regret as the boy who owned them realized he was caught and slunk away.


	2. The Guilt of Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rejecting Marinette, Adrien deals with the guilt over her sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finals are killing me  
> As a college student I've officially died  
> This chapter was uh....Something  
> Yesterday afternoon it had 400 words  
> By 1:30 AM last night it had over 6k  
> I don't know anymore. I barely know how this chapter turned out.
> 
> ...I have so much homework to do.
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter 2! Sorry it took so long to get out!

Sucking a cold breath into his lungs, Adrien realized he had been caught.

Like a blur in the night he slunk away into darkness, tail whipping behind him as he leaped from rooftop to rooftop across the city of Paris. He bounded over alleyways and vaulted himself with his baton over roads, chest heaving with icy air once he'd finally slipped through his bedroom window and collapsed upon his bed.

Marinette had seen him. She'd seen him with her own two eyes—such sad eyes—and the sight had been almost too much for Adrien to bear.

He had never seen her look so tired. Even from his perch on the roof beside her, he saw the dark bags beneath her eyes, the redness that surrounded her irises, and the tears that had slid down her cheeks like somber little snowflakes. Her shoulders had slumped and her hair was messy, free from its usual pigtails, and her expression…

It was empty.

She wasn't herself.

Adrien had watched her for a few minutes, having been patrolling the city just to clear his head and seen her the moment she rose from her bedroom. He'd paused, surprised to see her up so late, wondering what could have possibly been keeping her awake before remembering with the sound of her solemn sigh that he was the cause of her restless nature.

He was the reason tears had trailed down her face and he was the reason she appeared so exhausted.

(Granted, it was nearly one in the morning, but he had a feeling she wasn't awake because she desired to be.)

He had done that to her.

The feeling had made him sick to his stomach. He'd had a right mind to go up to her and apologize, but it would have only caused suspicions to arise. After all, what would Chat Noir need to apologize for? He hadn't been the one to break her heart.

For all she knew, anyways...

Groaning into his pillow, Adrien muttered for his transformation to release before kicking off his shoes and curling up underneath his covers. He was still in his pajamas from earlier, which was good; it meant he didn't have to get back up to change. Even if he would have been still in school clothes, he wouldn't have bothered to remove himself from his bed anyways. Sleeping in jeans wasn't as nearly as uncomfortable as sleeping with a heavy heart.

He hated feeling this way. He hated hurting a friend.

"I feel awful," Adrien mumbled, wrapping his arms around his pillow in a search for any sort of comfort he could find. He truly did feel terrible, and the fact that one of his best friends was just a few blocks away _crying_ because of him did not assist in easing his guilt.

Marinette was crying.

Marinette was crying because of him.

Marinette was awake at one in the morning crying because of his rejection.

 _Your fault,_ his subconscious hissed, _your fault, your fault._

Adrien pressed his face so tight against his pillow he nearly lost his ability to breathe.

"Don't smother yourself," Plagg's voice came from his left, and a light weight above him signaled that the kwami had settled himself on top of his pillow. "Adrien, stop that. No use suffocating yourself over a girl."

Lifting his head from his pillow, Adrien pouted, bangs hanging in front of his face after being mussed from his futile attempt of stifling himself. "I'm not going to be able to look at her tomorrow."

Plagg sighed, making a show of rolling his eyes. "Yes, you will. Don't be silly. It's not the end of the world."

"Yes it is," Adrien grumbled, turning so that his back was facing his kwami. "I've lost one of my best friends."

"She isn't dead, Adrien."

"But she isn't going to talk to me anymore."

"And how do you know that?" Plagg replied through a groan, clearly too tired to deal with his charge's dramatics. "Really, Adrien, you think she's just going to ignore you and pretend you don't exist when she has a crush on you? Think realistically. She's going to be hurt, yes, but this is your friend Marinette we're talking about." He paused to lean forward. "She's tougher than she looks."

Adrien frowned and pulled the covers over his head. Plagg had a point, no matter how much it pained to admit it: Marinette was strong, after all. Emotionally and physically. She would still be his friend and talk to him, just like he would still be her friend and talk to her. They might be awkward, sure, and their conversations wouldn't be normal for a while, but...that was okay. They would be okay eventually.

 _Yeah,_ he thought to himself, _yeah, we'll be okay. Soon we'll be good friends again and I won't have to make her cry anymore._

The image of reddened eyes and a hopeless expression flashed within his mind.

_Your fault._

Adrien bit back a curse, teeth clenching down on his lower lip as he curled up into a ball. His stomach churned with guilt and his head pounded in a constant reminder that it was _him_ who caused her to cry, that _he_ was responsible for the pain that plagued her. Part of him wished he could erase the memory from his thoughts—but what good would that do?

Fighting the knot that tightened his throat, Adrien grabbed his phone with trembling hands, thinking to text her, to ask if she was okay, to check up on her or _something-_

"Adrien."

Turning, a single opened green eye peered at him from his pillow. Plagg was obviously tired, and Adrien knew his kwami wanted to sleep, but he just could not _relax._ "Plagg?"

"Listen, kid," the little god said with a cock of his head, ancient eyes gazing at him thoughtfully. "I know it hurts to see your friend this way. I get it, you care about her in a way that I just can't understand. But let me ask you something: would you really rather have lied and told her that you _did_ feel the same way about her, just to make her happy?"

Adrien frowned, looking away from the burning sight of his companion. No, he wouldn't have done that...even if it would have made Marinette much less sad...

"What about _your_ happiness, Adrien?"

Silent, Adrien stared into the darkness of his room. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, worrying himself over little details, and his headache certainly wasn't letting up. Plagg was right: if he had lied to Marinette about his feelings, she would have been happy, yes, but it would have made him unhappy in turn. He didn't love her that way, no; he loved her as a close friend, someone he trusted and cared about, but nothing more.

If he had told her he _did_ share her feelings, then…

Then they might have created a relationship where the romantic affections were completely one-sided, and they both would have ended up unsatisfied and unhappy until whatever they had formed would crumble apart.

There would have been no salvaging their friendship then.

With his rejection, the choice he took, they still had a chance to become close again. To stay good friends and for things to return back to normal within time.

"I see what you mean," Adrien whispered, mindlessly playing with his fingers. "I don't like her that way. It's better that I let her know truth rather than lying."

Plagg nodded, looking much too wise for the kwami Adrien had known for the past two years. "And a big lie it would have been. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes, kid. Worry about your own happiness for now, and try not to get too upset over other's."

Blowing out a long breath, Adrien smiled, appreciating his words. Plagg was a creature over five thousand years old; he wasn't surprised that the little god had wisdom to share with his chosen every now and then.

"Thanks, buddy." With a scratch under Plagg's chin, Adrien pulled his blanket up over his shoulders and nuzzled his head deep within his pillow, hoping to finally put his thoughts to rest and attain a few hours of sleep. After a few moments of peaceful silence, the heaviness of exhaustion began to weigh down his eyelids, and soon he was out, dozing away like a cat that had tuckered itself out from play.

In his head, images of ladybugs dancing around black cats managed to pull a smile to his lips even through his slumber.

* * *

Marinette was avoiding him. He could tell.

Adrien watched as she and Alya stood by their lockers, Marinette with her gaze downcast and hair loose in its pigtails. He could only assume by how tired she appeared that she didn't sleep much the night before, and by the way she stepped closer to Alya, he got the impression that she was receiving some comforting words from her friend. Marinette's head was down, arms wrapped around herself as if she was shielding her body from a chilly breeze that didn't exist, and Alya's hand was rubbing her shoulder in slow, circular motions, a frown tugging at her lips.

He couldn't hear what she was saying, but whatever it was, Marinette responded with a nod.

Blowing a sigh past his lips and going to his own locker, Adrien placed his books for his later classes inside and took out the one he needed for his morning class.

 _Their_ morning class, actually.

He could feel her eyes on him. They burned into his skin, rooting dip inside his chest and making him feel the way he had the yesterday when she had poured her heart out to him.

Without thinking, he turned to look behind him, and their eyes met.

Adrien managed a small smile and lifted his hand in a wave. He hoped she would smile back, maybe come over and say good morning, but…she only looked down, avoiding his gaze and acting as if she hadn't even seen him at all.

Swallowing the whimper that threatened to rise in his throat, Adrien frowned, shutting his locker and running his hand through his hair.

He wanted to say hi to her.

He wanted to wrap her in a hug and tell her how sorry he was a million times over.

He wanted…

He wanted to make her feel better.

But there was nothing he could do.

Adrien still had yet to rid the cold stone of guilt that had settled within the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at her, he would remember the crack of her voice, the utter heartbreak that had filled her eyes, and the way her expression fell at his rejection. She had gone from laughing and smiling to devastated within a few moments, and Adrien would never, ever forget how sad she had looked, as if she'd thought she had been dreaming—as if one of her worst fears had come true.

By the time he looked back up, she and Alya were gone. On their way to class, Adrien presumed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and leaving his locker to walk through the halls. He kept his head down as he entered the classroom, steadying his breath, preparing himself to look up and see the girl whose heart he'd shattered—but when he found the courage to peer at her seat, he was surprised to find that Marinette and Alya weren't there at all.

That was odd. They'd left their lockers before he had.

With a brief glance around the room (and pointedly avoiding the stares of his classmates) Adrien slid into his seat next to Nino. Wherever the girls had gone, they'd better hurry to class soon or else they would be tardy.

Turning to Nino, Adrien asked, "Where did Marinette and Alya go?"

Nino shrugged, pulling off his headphones and silencing his music. He blew out a long, somewhat uncomfortable sigh before leaning back in his seat, looking at Adrien with a frown he was attempting (and failing) to conceal.

"Don't know," Nino said, "I saw 'Nette this morning, but…"

Adrien cocked his head to the side. "...But?"

"But…" He shook his head. "I don't think she's going to be able to make it through the day."

"...Oh." Adrien rested his chin on his palms, turning his gaze away from his friend. "That makes sense...she probably doesn't even want to see me right now."

"Hey, come on," Nino said as he patted him on the back, "don't think like that. Marinette's just going through some emotional stuff right now, but it'll be alright. Don't beat yourself up over it."

But he _was._ He was beating himself up and he would continue to until things got better. He had broken Marinette's heart. He had made her _cry._

_Your fault, your fault, your fault._

Swallowing around the heavy lump in his throat, Adrien let out a shaky sigh. His voice was wobbly as he spoke: "I feel so bad, Nino. I don't know what to do to make this better."

"Well…" Nino scratched at the back of his head, clearly struggling to come up with an appropriate response. "I...I don't think there is much you can do at the moment, dude. It sucks, yeah, and I know it hurts to see her like this—it hurts me and Alya, too—but the only thing you can really do is continue being her friend. She needs it." He flashed Adrien a comforting smile, offering him his sympathy. "Nobody's mad at you, Adrien. Not us, not even Marinette. She's just a little sad right now, but...over time, I think everything will be okay."

Adrien nodded, allowing Nino's words to settle in. Over time, everything would be okay.

_In time, everything will be okay. It will be okay. It will be-_

His eyes shot up as the girls entered the room.

_-okay._

Marinette appeared even more exhausted than she had the night before. The bags under her eyes were darker, and as he looked at her face he noticed it was free of any makeup, which was unusual for Mari—she must have been afraid that she would have cried it off. The bright eyes he'd become accustomed to seeing sparkle in the sunshine were dull, void of any joy, and she just seemed so...

So _tired._ So heartbroken.

_Your fault._

Opening his mouth to speak, Adrien sat up straight, internally panicking over what he should say to her; apologize? Tell her good morning? Not say anything at all and just give her a hug?

No, no, that would be pushing boundaries. She probably didn't want to be touched by him at the moment.

But he had to do _something!_ He couldn't just ignore her or- or let her go to her seat without a hello! He needed to- he wanted- he wanted to…

He wanted her to smile.

But by the time he found his voice, she had already slid into her seat.

Adrien's heart sunk so low he swore it would fall right to his feet.

Shoulders slumping, lips twitching downward, Adrien allowed himself to wallow in an internal puddle of sadness for a moment or two, his chest aching with the guilt he felt burning inside. She was sad because of him…he had done this to her...

But he couldn't help that he didn't feel the same! He didn't like her that way. He loved her, but only as friend.

Maybe he hadn't let her down gently enough, or maybe if he'd hugged her longer, or walked her home, things would be better...

But-

But no. No matter how yesterday afternoon would have played out, they would be here. Awkward, quiet, hurting and wishing things would return back to normal.

They wouldn't. Not for a while.

Maybe not ever.

Adrien wondered if Marinette had cried before class. Her eyes hadn't seemed red, at least from the glance he'd stolen. He couldn't hear her sniffling…

Curiosity nagged at the back of his mind until he turned his head to look at her. He was prepared to meet her gaze, to give her a smile or mouth an apology, but what surprised Adrien most was the fact that she wasn't looking at him at all.

Actually, it seemed as if she wasn't looking at _anything._

Eyes half-lidded, Marinette swayed slightly in her seat, nearly toppling over onto the floor from sleepiness before Alya caught her by her sleeve in the nick of time. She gasped and steadied herself, eyes snapping open and cheeks reddening from embarrassment as a few of their classmates began to snicker at her sleep-deprived state.

Adrien shot a particular group a pointed glare, and they clamped their jaws shut.

Poor Marinette appeared as if she hadn't slept a wink all night. From his observation at nearly one in the morning, he was sure she didn't, and was now paying for it in the price of nodding off during class.

Adrien turned his head back to the front of the class and sighed, once again placing his chin on his palm.

He felt so, so awful.

As their teacher began the lesson, the only thought that stayed within his brain was the undying insistence that Marinette's sadness was of his doing.

_Your fault._

* * *

The school day seemed endless. What felt like it had been an hour turned out to only have been fifteen minutes, and Adrien swore he was going to go insane if the final bell didn't ring _now._ He'd been sitting in seats restless all day, unpleasant thoughts plaguing his mind, and all he wanted to do at the moment was run and _leave_. He needed to be alone for a while. He needed to collect his thoughts.

But even after class, he still had fencing practice, and then he had to go home and get through piano lessons, and at least get some leverage on the research paper he had been assigned in his second period, which would most likely mean a trip to the school's library.

(He loved his teacher for forbidding the use of the internet for their research.)

 _Woohoo,_ he cheered sarcastically within his head, _can't wait._

At least the library was a quiet place he could relax and not think about...things, for a while.

As the bell rang he nearly bolted, grabbing his backpack and dashing out the classroom door. Free from the confines of a stuffy classroom, Adrien's mood immediately boosted. He felt better, less cramped, chest no longer feeling heavy from the thought of how badly he'd hurt-

...Marinette.

Skidding to a stop in front of the double doors to the gym, Adrien frowned, feeling an unsettling sadness creeping up within his body. It had been so hard not to think about her. It had been so _hard_ to keep her heartbreak off of his mind, and all through every class, every minute of the day from breakfast, lunch, and up to the final bell, she had been within his thoughts.

And he still felt bad.

He was working on coming to terms with the fact that he was not at fault for his platonic feelings. He knew he wasn't a bad person for not sharing her affections, nor was he a bad person for rejecting her. She had confessed, he didn't feel the same, and that was it.

But he still felt _bad._

All throughout fencing practice, Adrien thought of Marinette.

During the ride home, the memory of the sorrow in Marinette's voice played in his head as he was driven past the street they'd chased each other along just the day before.

Through his piano lessons, he thought of the tears that had rolled down her cheeks when he'd spotted her on her balcony as his fingers glided over the keys. More often than he would have liked, he struck the wrong one, cringing at how he'd slipped up and ruined a beautiful song just like he'd ruined the day of a beautiful girl.

Even as he browsed the aisles of books at the school's library, he thought of her. He thought of her voice, the tremble of her hands, the feel of her heart beating against his chest as he'd pulled her into a hug. He thought of the warmth of her embrace, how soft her hair had felt when he'd rested his chin upon it, the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo, and how he had caused this positive, confident girl to miss a whole night of sleep. To become a mess right before his very eyes.

All he wanted to do at the moment was give her a hug.

The library was quiet, a soothing atmosphere that helped to calm his nerves and put his negative thoughts to rest. The nagging guilt still resided within the back of his mind, but every now and then Adrien forgot about it for just a moment, allowing the sounds of pages turning and students whispering amongst themselves to distract him and put him at ease.

He wandered from shelf to shelf, glancing over books and magazines and DVDs until he became uninterested and moved on to the next intriguing section. At some point the lights in the library had become fainter, making the large room just a tad darker for those who decided to stay past six. It was nice; made him feel less tense. By then all of the other students had gone home, having already gathered their things and went on their way, but Adrien was still there, meandering, searching for nothing in particular and trying to find a way to rid himself of his bad thoughts.

Running his hand along the spines of various books as he walked down the dimly lit aisles, Adrien sighed, frustrated with himself. He'd been so distracted and lost in his head that he hadn't even been paying attention to the _titles_ of these books, much less the specific aisle he was on. Nonfiction? Children's books? Scientific journals? Who knew!

Pulling a random book from the shelf out of curiosity, Adrien inspected the cover and blinked in surprise as he found that he had been wandering through the cookbook section.

"Ugh," he groaned as he replaced the book to its proper spot (unlike some of the books which were just lain flat, set there by lazy students who had no care for proper book placement) and decided that it was just a bad night for schoolwork. He needed to go home and relax, or perhaps take a run around the city to help clear his erratic thoughts-

-but as he slammed his knee into the corner of a table in the study area, Adrien's yelp of pain was quickly cut off by the sight in front of him.

A few tables across from the one he'd injured himself upon sat a sleeping Marinette, head nuzzled into her arms and various books splayed out across the wooden surface. She seemed as if she had been asleep for a while, as he really didn't expect her to have stayed at the school's library until dark, even if she was doing research for a paper of her own. She looked quite out of it.

Her parents must be worried about her.

Rubbing his throbbing kneecap, Adrien went to approach her but froze in his spot as he considered the thought that perhaps she didn't want to see him at the moment. She would probably become sad if he woke her, or maybe even ignore him, or…or cry…

_But I can't just leave her here all night!_

What if she was wanted at home, or had gone to the library right after school and fallen asleep for a few hours? What if her parents didn't know she was here and were concerned about their daughter's safety?

He had to wake her. He couldn't let her sleep there all evening. Nobody besides them and a single librarian were in the library at the moment—if he didn't wake her, chances are she would sleep the night away.

Taking a deep breath, Adrien let it out slowly, steadying himself just in case Marinette decided to tell him to go away or worse. He doubted she would, but with how upset he had made her, he really didn't know what to expect.

"Marinette?" He whispered, setting his bag down on the table quietly. She had left her notebook open, and Adrien noticed from a quick glance to the pink paper that her notes had quickly turned into doodles of dresses and blouses. Underneath her arms was a thick book opened to a random page, and from what Adrien could see, made quite the comfortable pillow for his drowsy friend.

"Mari?" He said once again when she didn't stir, his voice slightly louder yet still the appropriate volume for a library. "Wake up, Marinette."

A mumble rose from her lips before she buried her face deeper within the warmth of her arms.

Adrien couldn't help but crack a slight smile. Marinette was quite the heavy sleeper, he knew that for a fact. Cozy memories of their first sleepover together on her fifteenth birthday replayed in his mind, and he remembered with a snort how she had straight-up _refused_ to wake the morning after by pushing him off of the couch.

Good times…

Good memories that he hoped were not tainted for her.

Placing a gentle hand upon her shoulder, Adrien rubbed it slowly, hoping to wake her peacefully. He'd made her sad enough already, and jolting her awake by shaking her certainly wouldn't ease their current state of friendship. "Mari, wakey-wakey. Time to get up."

Marinette stirred, lifting her head from the crook of her elbow as her eyes slowly slid open. She blinked a few times, eyelids drooping, mouth stretching open in a large yawn. Adrien watched as she glanced around the room, clearly confused about her location before blue eyes met green and Marinette _froze._

"A-Adrien," she squeaked, quickly averting her gaze and shuffling to gather her things. "I- um- th-thanks for-"

Wow, she hadn't stuttered like that around him for nearly two years…

Was he the one who had brought that nervous edge back?

"Sorry," Adrien apologized, helping her gather her papers. "It's pretty late. I couldn't let you stay here all night, even if that book looks like quite the comfy pillow."

Marinette nodded, eyes downcast as she slipped on her coat. It was toasty inside the library; Adrien was surprised he had kept his own on for this long.

"Thanks," Marinette said, sliding her backpack onto her shoulders. "For waking me, that is."

She still wouldn't look at him.

A pang of sorrow clutched at Adrien's heart. "Don't mention it..."

They stood there in silence for a moment, Marinette staring at the floor while Adrien stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, chewing on the inside of his cheek somewhat impatiently. The awkward barrier that had been built up between them was beginning to bug him, especially after how close they had become in the past year and a half. Just the other day they had been acting like children and flicking crumbs at each other at lunch, but now he couldn't even get her to _look_ at him.

He just wanted to be one of her best friends again, to break down that barrier and make her laugh or smile...but he knew it would not go away unless one of them did something about it.

They needed to talk. They really, really needed to talk.

"Hey," Adrien said after what had been about forty-five seconds of uncomfortable quiet, "are you doing okay?"

Marinette seemed surprised by his question. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"You know." He scuffed his toe against the carpet. "After yesterday. How are you feeling?"

"Oh," Marinette whispered, clutching her hands together as her shoulders slumped. "I don't know. I think so. I guess I'm just…really embarrassed about the whole thing. Extremely embarrassed. That's mostly what's bugging me."

So the embarrassment was more painful for her than the actual rejection was…?

Huh…

"It's okay," Adrien said, "I understand. I, um…I admire your bravery, Marinette. For confessing to me. It takes a lot of guts to do that. And I'm sorry that I-"

"Stop." Marinette's eyes rose to meet his own. In the low light of the library, Adrien could see a glossy sheen over her whites, and instantly he regretted ever opening his mouth to speak. "Please, don't. It's okay. I don't want you to feel like you need to apologize for anything."

_But I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

He never wanted to hurt her.

All he ever wanted to do was make her smile, and he had screwed up that one simple thing.

"...Sorry."

Marinette said nothing.

If the embarrassment was what was killing her, then why didn't she want to look at him…?

Adrien could understand why she was feeling that way. If he had gone and found the courage within him to confess his love Ladybug, only to get rejected, he would feel pretty damn embarrassed as well.

But for her to struggle to _speak_ to him…

A sniffle caught his attention, and Adrien's gaze immediately shot up from the floor. Before he could even comprehend what was going on, Marinette had her arms around him, face pressed against his shoulder and something wet dampening the white fabric of his coat. He barely had time to react before she began to cry, and instantly his arms weaved around her tiny frame and squeezed her in a hug that was both a friendly comfort and an apology.

"I'm-" He began, but was quickly cut off by Marinette's own voice.

"No, _I'm_ sorry," She whimpered, "this is all me, Adrien. Please don't feel bad. You didn't do anything you need to apologize for."

Adrien's frown deepend. "I hurt you."

"Not because you wanted to."

"But I still _did_ ," he said, pulling back from the hug slightly to look at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, which were red from what he assumed was embarrassment—or simply because they were so close. "And I know this is going to hard for you, for both of us. I still want to be friends with you...can I?"

Marinette looked down, voice so quiet it was barely audible. "I want to."

"I do, too," Adrien whispered. They stared at each other for a moment before he squeezed her once more in a hug, holding onto her tightly, for he feared she might run away if he didn't keep her close. But, if she wanted to, he would have let her.

Pressing his face against her hair, Adrien closed his eyes and allowed himself to be selfish for just a moment; not of his own feelings, but of hugging one of his very best friends. He would allow himself to relish in her embrace for a little while longer.

"Mari?" He asked. "Do you...do you want to talk about it?"

Marinette hesitated for a moment before she shook her head. "No...not now. I can't talk about it, not yet."

"Okay."

He wouldn't make her if she didn't want to.

Whenever she was ready, he would be there for her.

That's what friends were for, right?

He would be there for her no matter what—even when he'd been the one to break her heart.

He hoped someday that she would find happiness in someone just as sweet as her.

"Adrien?"

Looking down, Adrien released his arms from his tiny friend no matter how badly his body wanted to resist and gave her a gentle smile, stuffing his hands back into the pockets of his coat once more. "Mari?"

But, much to his surprise, Marinette only frowned and looked away, taking a step back. "I think we should both go home."

Oh.

 _Right,_ he thought solemnly, _it's past seven, her parents are probably worried, I'm getting pretty hungry...I wonder what's for dinner tonight…._

With a nod, Adrien stepped away to give her some space, watching as she collected the rest of her things and buttoned up her black coat. There was no doubt it was chilly outside, and Adrien was thankful he at least had the scarf his father had gifted him to keep him warm. It was his favorite, after all.

"Okay," Adrien said, forcing a smile to his face. "Want me to walk you home?"

Marinette shook her head. "N-...no, I'll be fine...it's not far. Thanks, though."

"Oh." Her answer was not unexpected, but her decline of his offer still stung. He hoped she would be safe walking home alone in the dark, in such a big city…especially as a young girl…

The thought made an uncomfortable worry tug at the pit of his stomach. It wasn't that Marinette wasn't capable of protecting herself—she was quite strong, and could probably hold her own in a fight—but he would rather her make it home safely than have to fend off some creep.

"Are you sure?" Adrien asked, glancing out a window. It was completely dark now, and quite cold; did she _really_ want to avoid him so badly that she'd rather risk her own safety than walk with him?

Marinette nodded, adjusting the white scarf around her neck. Funny, the design looked kind of familiar… "I'm sure. I'll be okay, Adrien. Thank you, though."

"Yeah…"

A quiet lapsed between them once more, increasingly awkward from the last.

Adrien felt as if he wanted to scream or cry; possibly both.

"Well," he said, taking another step back. "Have a good night, Marinette."

Marinette gave him a delicate smile—one that seemed as if would break any moment. "I'll try."

And with that, she turned and left, shoulders drooping as she made her way to the front of the library and exited through the double doors. Adrien shivered, feeling quite cold—although he knew it wasn't the temperature that was causing his insides to chill. He watched until Marinette disappeared, waiting for just a few moments before he left as well, ducking behind a pillar and opening up his coat for Plagg to zip free.

Honestly, Adrien could not in good conscience let her walk home by herself, especially with how she felt at the moment. She was too sad to be alert, and if god forbid if something were to happen to her...he wouldn't know what to do.

He only wanted to make sure she was safe.

"What are you doing?" Plagg asked, although from his expression Adrien was sure the kwami already knew the answer.

"Plagg," he sighed, glancing nervously towards the entrance of the school, "come on, I can't just let her walk home alone. You know how some people are."

Plagg rolled his eyes yet didn't resist. As Adrien was enveloped in a flash of green light, he raced out of the entrance of the school and vaulted himself atop a building, the heels of his metal-tipped boots clicking against the paneling of Parisian rooftops. The night air was cold, and each breath he took in was icy, but his only focus at the moment was the whereabouts of his friend.

Skidding to a stop atop the roof of an aged apartment building, Adrien glanced around the streets below in hopes of finding Marinette—but a frigid chill of worry began to seep up his spine when he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where could she have even gone that fast?" He wondered aloud, cat ears flicking as he tuned his hearing to anything that sounded like her voice, only to find nothing but the rolling of car tires and the soft blow of the wind.

Had she gone home?

That wasn't possible, there was no way she could have gotten home that fast—the high school was a few blocks from the bakery, and it had only been about five minutes. He could have made it to her house in that time as Chat Noir, sure, but Marinette didn't have special powers to assist her speed. Had her parents been ready to pick her up?

Just to ease the anxiety that had began to bubble up within his stomach, Adrien turned tail and vaulted himself in the direction of Marinette's house. He leaped across alleyways and landed stealthily atop roofs, dashing all the way to Gotleib street and coming to a stop on the roof that was just across Marinette's terrace.

She wasn't there.

"Oh no," Adrien whispered to himself, "where-"

Not even ten seconds later her trapdoor opened, revealing a blanket-covered, pajama-clad Marinette holding a book in one hand and some sort of steaming mug in the other. Cocking his head to the side, Adrien watched her, utterly flabbergasted as to how she managed to make it home so quickly.

How on Earth…

She settled down into the lawn chair that sat beneath an awning and a string of fairy lights, adjusting the blanket around her shoulders as she sipped from the red and white spotted mug. As her mouth connected with whatever was inside, she squeaked and dropped her book, pulling back with her tongue poking out of her lips. Adrien smiled. Her drink must have been too hot.

She seemed to be doing okay...

At least she wasn't crying anymore.

With the comfort of knowing his friend was home safely, Adrien decided it was time for him to head back to his own bedroom for some dinner and well-deserved sleep.

As he stood, the thought of something warm to eat made his stomach positively growl. Perhaps, for one night, he could sneakily order a pizza just for the heck of it-

"Chat Noir?" Marinette asked, catching Adrien by surprise. He flinched, losing his footing on the slippery rooftop and nearly tumbling straight off the edge before he balanced himself with his baton. Shit, she'd seen him! Just like she had the night before!

Oh, no, he probably looked like a total _creep!_

Marinette had stood, now leaning on the icy railing of her balcony with a nervous expression on her features. She glanced around, looking as if she thought danger would spring at her any moment—before settling her suspicious eyes back on his form. "Why have you been spying on me for the past two nights?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of you were expecting Adrien's confession this chapter, but halfway through my planning stage I realized it just wasn't working out because it was happening way too _fast._ I want to take this fic slow, flesh out the characters' emotions and show growth between them, so I think it will be better paced if his confession comes just a _bit_ later.
> 
> As always, my Tumblr is [frostedpuffs](http://frostedpuffs.tumblr.com) if you want to shoot me a message or scream about ML!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. An Unexpected Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting over a crush is harder than Marinette expected it would be. While she's attempting to feel at least a little better with homemade comforts, a pair of green eyes hiding in the shadows catch her attention, and she isn't entirely sure how to handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look at me! I'm still updating twice a month, like I said I would!
> 
> How was everybody's holidays? I finished up this chapter last night just past midnight, so this is technically the first thing I wrote in 2017. :D Hope everyone has a great year!
> 
> As for this chapter...It was a little tough to get through. Ended up writing around five drafts before going with this one, and though I'm still not completely happy with it, it'll do!
> 
> (I somehow wrote about 5.5k words yesterday. I have no idea how that happened.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Marinette hoped she was dreaming.

Really, she figured, how could she be awake if she was seeing Chat Noir staring at her from the roof of the small apartment complex that sat to the left of her terrace? What could he possibly need from her?

She had to be dreaming.

Shaking her head, Marinette blinked once, twice, three times before she decided that yes, she was most definitely asleep. The stress from the past two days had conjured up some weird, oddly realistic dream of Chat Noir visiting her just as she was about to relax with a book and some lavender tea. It wasn't uncommon for her partner to weave his way into her dreams, of course, as they spent enough time protecting the city together, but…

But usually when she dreamt of him, it was of victories or patrols; of them saving Paris or bantering atop the Eiffel Tower, sometimes with an added race through the skyline. Never before had her mind supplied images of him visiting her _house_ of all places, especially since he had no idea who she was in her daily life.

(She hoped, at least. If that cat had somehow discovered her identity on accident, she would zip right on over to him and give him a stern talking to.)

Standing from her striped lawn chair, Marinette adjusted the pink blanket she wore over her shoulders and walked towards the left of her terrace, arms resting on the chilly railing. She certainly didn't feel like she was dreaming, being out of that usual cloud-like stupor she usually felt after hours, but with how Chat Noir looked so lost in thought…

Well, there wasn't any better way to figure out what he was doing spying on her than flat out asking him. He'd been there the night before as well, and Marinette was beginning to suspect that he was coming around for a particular reason—a reason she wanted to know. Whatever it may be, she felt she was owed an explanation.

Maybe there was a villain lurking about, or maybe someone she had accidentally angered was akumatized and pursuing her?

She'd barely talked to anyone besides Alya the past day and a half. Who on Earth could she have made upset enough to become akumatized, of all things?

...Adrien?

 _No, no…not him…he's never been akumatized, he_ wouldn't _be-_

Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat (while forcing her previous thoughts to slip out of her mind), Marinette took a sip of her tea and frowned, resting the spotted mug atop the railing with a soft _clink._ Her eyes shifted around the area for a brief moment, just to be sure of her safety, before she settled her gaze back on the boy who had been watching her. "Chat Noir?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She hadn't meant for her voice to sound so accusatory, but her brain and mouth had apparently stopped cooperating with each other since Monday morning. It wasn't like she could help it very much.

When their eyes met, it was obvious she'd startled him.

It was almost comical how surprised Chat Noir became, arms flailing and legs wobbling as he nearly toppled over the edge of the roof. Before he fell, however, he righted himself with his baton and stood stock-still, frozen like a deer in the headlights, velvet ears pointed upwards in alarm and leather tail held high in the air.

Marinette resisted the urge to smile. If Chat Noir had fur, she was sure it would have been bristled with fright. _Kitty didn't expect to get caught again, did he?_

Suppressing the chuckle that had nearly risen in her throat, Marinette covered the twitch of her lips with the back of her hand, unsure if she should feel upset or relieved at the current situation. On one hand, Chat Noir had to be hanging around her house for a reason, whether that be for her safety or the city's, but...on the other, he'd been _watching_ her for two nights in a row and she didn't know why. If she hadn't of caught him, how long would he have lingered, and how many nights would he have come back…?

Part of her just felt a little... _uncomfortable_ about the whole thing. And even though Chat had never given her a reason to feel uncomfortable in his presence, seeing those green eyes burning into her when he thought she couldn't see certainly wasn't something she found herself enjoying.

Narrowing her eyes at the statue that was her partner, Marinette studied him, observing how he shifted under her gaze. He was probably nervous, which was understandable; if she had been caught watching _Adrien_ of all people, then…

Her face immediately reddened.

 _That would never happen! I'm not- not a_ creep _like that!_

A sigh fell from her chilled lips, body shivering as a crisp autumn breeze blew through the air.

She'd been thinking of Adrien all day...couldn't her mind give her a minute's rest?

Deciding to push that thought out of her brain, Marinette stood up straight, elbow resting on the railing of her terrace and chin propped atop her hand. She had to remind herself that if she wanted answers, she had to ask questions, and sitting there simply staring at Chat Noir would do neither of them any good.

"Chat Noir," she began again, "why have you been spying on me for the past two nights?"

The boy in question only frowned, his lips thinning into a tight, straight line. He had the decency to at least look a little ashamed, but apparently couldn't seem to even grace her with a glance, much less with an answer.

Jeez. What was with him?

A twinge of irritation began to seep up the back of Marinette's spine. What, was he ignoring her now? She had asked him a question, and he had yet to answer. That was rude, wasn't it?

Marinette huffed.

Perhaps, she thought, it was merely the bitterness she felt about her day that was causing her to feel so agitated with his appearance. If the past two days hadn't been so awful, maybe she wouldn't have minded a late night visit...but since she had recently finished exhausting herself with tears, she merely wasn't in the mood to deal with any danger (if that was what he was at her home for). Even if the city was in trouble, she was far too tired to _stand_ , much less transform, and to be honest, emotionally...she just wasn't up for it.

(Even if she knew that no matter how she felt, the safety of the city always came first.)

What did Chat want, anyway? He had no business spying on her. Chat Noir wasn't the type that spied on girls, Marinette was sure. The fact that she had spotted him watching her two nights in a row sitting atop that apartment complex only made her more positive it was just her mind playing tricks on her with some silly little reverie that had wandered into her subconscious.

She knew he was a better person than that...and if he _was_ spying on her, he probably had his reasons...

Marinette almost considered just ignoring the odd sight and going back inside at his lack of response, but then Chat moved and ducked his head, ears flattening against his mop of blond hair in shame. His eyes, so green and bright, shifted awkwardly from side to side, and Marinette was sure for a moment he would pretend he hadn't heard her question and flee. She thought he would run home—wherever that was—and act as if he hadn't been caught watching an innocent civilian from the shadows.

(Well, the civilian that he thought she was, anyways.)

When Chat refused to meet her gaze, Marinette's brows knitted together in a muddled mixture of confusion and annoyance. She wasn't exactly in a great mood, and catching an awkward Chat Noir staring at her from the roof of a building didn't help to ease her aching heart.

Really, all the sight did was make her headache worse.

Sighing, Marinette couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Hello?" she called, unable to hide the exhaustion in her tone. "I know you can hear me, Chat Noir."

And then Chat's eyes were on hers, shoulders slumped and a finger raised as he prepared to speak. His mouth fumbled for something to say, opening and closing quite a few times before he reached a hand behind his head to scratch at the back of his neck, clearly struggling with an appropriate reply.

 _Hm,_ Marinette thought with a cock of her head, _must be a nervous habit. Wonder why that looks so familiar..._

"Uh," Chat coughed, "well, I- um." He offered a smile, but boy, did it look forced. "I'm not spying! Just- just going through my patrol route, you know? Gotta keep the city safe!"

His voice went up an octave, and Marinette narrowed her eyes, taking a long sip of her tea. She allowed herself a moment to think before accusing her partner right out of spying—something she hoped he normally didn't do—and watched him closely. She knew herself that they didn't have patrol tonight, or else she would have joined him, and besides...the bakery was on _her_ patrol route, not his.

What was he doing…?

Just as she parted her lips to speak, Chat Noir beat her to the punch. "Everything alright over there?" he asked, clasping his hands together and hunching his shoulders—as if it would make him appear smaller. "You, uh…"

He trailed off, the sentence remaining unfinished.

Blinking in surprise, Marinette nodded, raising an eyebrow at his question. She had a slight suspicion that he had been lurking around her house for the past two nights because he was worried about something, but...what could Chat Noir possibly be worried about that involved her?

"Yeah?" she answered, although it sounded more like a question. "Yeah, I'm alright."

Chat gave a nod. "Oh," he said, "good...good."

His fists clenched at his sides and his head hung low.

Why, why did he look so...so _guilty?_

Mindlessly tapping her finger on the cool metal of her terrace railing, Marinette nibbled at her bottom lip, feeling a light anxiety fluttering in her stomach. She couldn't help but be concerned about her partner; he seemed so dejected that the urge to call him over and swoop him up into a hug was almost too strong to resist. Why was he here, and what was bugging him? How could she make whatever was causing him to appear to distraught go away?

With her emotions all over the place, Marinette felt like a mess. One minute she was sad, and the next annoyed, and now-

...now, all she wanted was to be held.

And by the looks on his face, Chat Noir wanted the same.

Marinette felt her heart squeeze. A small wave of guilt washed over her for being annoyed with him at first. Sure, Chat Noir was silly and told too many jokes, and could afford to act a little more serious at times, but...he was a good person, and a close friend. Probably one of the closest friends she'd had in the past two years, excluding Alya, Nino and Adrien.

In fact, Chat Noir had been there for her often when her friends couldn't. She had no right to be suspicious of him, much less irritated. Even if her day had sucked, Chat didn't deserve to be at the end of her exasperation.

And while Marinette felt upset, Chat seemed to be having quite a hard time, too. It became clear to her that it was possible she wasn't the only one having a crummy week.

"I'm fine," she repeated in a much softer tone, her voice barely above a whisper. "But...are _you_ okay, Chat Noir?"

Chat's eyes widened a fraction before he turned away, mumbling something inaudible.

Marinette leaned in his direction slightly. "What was that?"

Although he was speaking, Chat Noir's words were still too quiet to hear.

A slight wind picked up overhead, blowing through the thin pink fabric of Marinette's blanket. She shivered at the breeze, clutching what little protection she had from the chill of autumn air over her shoulders with one hand and retrieving the still-steaming mug with the other. Grabbing the side of the spotted surface gently, she allowed the heat of her drink to warm her skin from the tip of her fingers all the way to her stomach as she sipped the faint sweetness of lavender. There wasn't much left in the cup, and as she swirled it around mindlessly, she pondered over how exactly she should deal with the whole Chat situation.

 _I could just tell him to go away,_ she hummed in thought, downing the rest of her tea. _He'd leave if I asked him to._

She didn't want to talk at the moment anyways, and anything that Chat Noir needed surely could wait until morning, couldn't it?

After all, Tikki _was_ waiting for her inside...and she was beginning to feel quite sleepy...

But another glance to her partner's expression and Marinette knew he needed comfort just as much as she did. Even if it was late, she could not in good conscience send one of her best friends home when he was hurting simply because she wanted to rest.

Setting the empty mug to the side, Marinette's eyes met Chat's once more. "Why are you here?" she asked, blinking sleepily up at the blond superhero. "What do you need from me?"

He answered her, but unfortunately, he just wasn't speaking loud enough for her to pick up his response. "What?"

A weary groan rose from Chat Noir's lips and before Marinette could process what he was doing, he produced his baton and leaped, seemingly going to land on her terrace, but-

-but he didn't quite make it.

Something in his head must have been miscalculated, because his feet slipped on the ledge of her terrace and his hands scrabbled to get a grip on the iron railing. His eyes were blown wide, ears flattened against his head as he finally adjusted himself, and from how he struggled to hoist his body over fencing, it became even more obvious to Marinette that she wasn't the only one having a rough night.

Chat Noir _never_ missed a jump as simple as that.

He'd almost fallen three stories from what couldn't have been more than an eight-foot gap! She'd seen him scale _skyscrapers_ for crying out loud, and he couldn't make that jump?

Once he finally stood on her terrace, Marinette gave him a bewildered look, both too physically and emotionally exhausted to comprehend what could have possibly caused her partner to nearly injure himself over a small leap.

With the sound of a quiet _crack,_ Marinette realized that in the process of hauling his body over the railing, Chat Noir's tail had knocked her favorite mug over the edge and sent it free-falling to the sidewalk below where it met its untimely demise.

Chat appeared to be as equally embarrassed as she was confused, if his red cheeks were any indication.

"Um." He cleared his throat, shooting an awkward glance behind him where the innocent mug had sat unsuspecting just a few seconds prior. "Sorry about that. I'll get you a new mug, I promise. I didn't mean to-"

While the loss of her mug was sad, Marinette was more concerned about her friend. "What's wrong with you?"

Chat flinched.

By the way his expression fell and ears drooped, Marinette instantly felt guilty over her choice of words, cursing herself for not thinking before she spoke. _Oh, god, no, I didn't mean to say it like that! I'm too tired for this! I hurt his feelings!_

"No, no!" she gasped, feeling a heavy pang of sorrow strike through her chest. What was with her and making her friends sad lately? "I didn't mean it like that! I- _augh._ " Slapping a palm to her forehead, Marinette planted her rear on the small wooden table she kept for her old tin teapot and cups, feeling it wobble under her weight. A cup nearly clattered off the edge, but at the moment she had greater troubles presenting themselves to her on her terrace instead of another broken piece of tableware.

A deep breath entered her lungs before she began again. "I'm sorry. What I meant to ask was, are you doing okay?"

Chat's hand rose to the back of his neck as he offered her a weak smile, a soft chuckle bubbling up from his throat. "I'm fine," he said, "just feeling a little off tonight."

Rubbing her eye with the back of her hand (and feeling quite thankful she'd cleaned off her makeup earlier so it didn't smudge), Marinette gave a small smile in return. _You and me both._

Curiosity nagged at her brain, but she knew she couldn't just right out ask Chat Noir what was bothering him. They were partners, sure, but _he_ didn't know that, and besides...even as Ladybug, Chat never shared such personal information with her. They weren't allowed to. They knew they couldn't.

Their kwamis had told them it was off limits.

And, although Marinette sometimes wondered about the face that was underneath Chat Noir's mask...she knew their identities needed to remain a secret.

(Even if it left them both with a painful curiosity.)

Damn those rules...safety and whatnot…

As Chat stared at her, Marinette realized it was taking her a bit longer to reply than what would be considered normal.

"Off?" she inquired, keeping her gaze on her feet, eyes drooping with a tired blink.

Chat nodded, seemingly uncomfortable that the focus had switched to him. "Yes, but I'm not here to talk about me, Marinette. I'm worried about _you._ "

Her eyes shot up to meet his own. " _Me?_ "

He gave her a look—one that Marinette couldn't exactly decipher. It was almost as if he appeared _scared_ about something...like there was something she didn't know but should—like he was withholding a bit of information he wanted to keep private yet spill at the same time.

Swallowing, Marinette asked, "why are you worried about me?"

Chat sighed, awkwardly hesitant. He propped himself atop the terrace railing, sitting upon the cold bar with his feet on the wooden flooring since his legs were too long to dangle. He tapped a claw on the iron as his eyes fell downcast, the sound of his nail against metal capturing Marinette's attention. His tail swished back and forth behind him, the silver tip of the belt twitching slightly, and his ears flattened once more. It was evident that he was apprehensive, but what _for…?_

"Well," he began, rubbing the back of his head. "I...I might have been around when you told that boy that you have feelings for him. I sort of saw what happened."

_Oh._

Instantly Marinette felt a searing wash of pure _embarrassment_ trickle down her body, causing her to wrap her arms around herself in a weak sort of self-comfort. A heavy frown tugged at her lips, her cheeks reddening from the memory. She'd been trying to forget about the whole thing all day.

It was silly of her to think that Adrien would actually like her back. While she was in no way insecure...she knew she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up.

Heh. It was funny…she had actually thought he might've loved her as more than a friend.

But that had only been wishful thinking, hadn't it?

When she'd woken that morning, heart heavy yet eyes bright, she was was wholeheartedly determined to tough through the solemn thoughts that taunted her brain. She was prepared to see Adrien, to pretend as if he _hadn't_ rejected her the day before, and to act normal, because she was fine!

She was _totally fine._

The fact that the boy she had fallen in love with didn't love her back was fine! Feelings weren't always reciprocated, and she knew that. She was okay with that.

She was okay.

It wasn't okay that she had avoided Adrien for most of the day, and it wasn't okay that she had allowed herself to cry in front of him when he'd found her in the library. It wasn't okay that she'd refused his offer to walk her home, and damn it, it wasn't okay that she was acting so pathetic, because she was Marinette, Ladybug, she was _stronger than this-_

"Hey."

A gentle hand on her shoulder urged her to look up, and a single bead of dampness sliding down her cheek only made her face turn a deeper shade of red. Chat Noir gave her a smile, yet it didn't quite meet his eyes; the guilt that swam in his gaze was all too strong, and Marinette swore that, just for a moment, it seemed as if _he_ had been the one to reject her.

But that was stupid.

Adrien was at home, probably asleep, and Marinette…

Well, Marinette was awake late on a school night, moping on her terrace with none other than Chat Noir trying to comfort her. She probably looked pitiful, which only provoked the annoyance she had shut away to spark back up within her chest.

Marinette was _not_ pitiful.

She was strong, and brave, a-and pretty, and she was _not_ going to let some- some stupid _boy_ make her feel this way! She was not going to let a silly boy hurt her like this—this bad—because she was strong! She could fight akuma, punch villains in the face, rip open any akumatized object and purify butterflies like it was nothing more than a simple task.

She was stronger than this, damn it.

_But if I'm so strong, then why does it hurt this bad?_

A few tears trickled down her face, and Marinette immediately recoiled when Chat Noir went to wipe them with his thumb.

"I'm fine," she said, voice harboring more venom than she'd intended. "Don't look at me like that. Don't- don't get so close."

Chat raised his hands and scooted along the railing to further himself from her, expression apologetic. "Sorry," he whispered, voice barely more than a peep in the wind. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be here. I just"-his eyes met hers-"want you to know that I wasn't spying. I was watching out for you. I know you're probably hurting, and are upset, but if there's one thing that a certain someone preys on…"

Marinette looked away, realization dawning on her.

_He's afraid I'm going to be akumatized._

Well...at least that made sense. She was correct with her guesses. His intentions were good; he was doing nothing more than looking out for another unfortunate soul whom Papillon found easy to villainize due to her emotions.

And here she was, incredibly emotional.

Really, Marinette didn't know if she _could_ be akumatized or not, due to be Ladybug, but...she certainly wasn't prepared to find out.

She didn't want to find out.

Taking a deep breath and holding it for a second, two, she exhaled slowly, finally turning her gaze back on the boy she'd come to appreciate as one of her closest friends. Pulling the blanket over her head (as if it were a hood), Marinette sighed, body slumping and head held low. She felt bad for being so bitter towards Chat Noir. He hadn't done anything wrong. It was a hero's duty to watch out for those who might be akumatized to make sure that they could be on the scene quickly if needed.

He was only doing his job.

And here she was thinking he was spying…

"I'm sorry," Marinette said, voice cracked and weary. "I'm having a tough time right now. I get why you're here, and I thank you for looking out for me, but honestly...I'm okay." She forced a smile to her face. "I'm a strong girl, Chat Noir. Please don't worry about me."

She was okay. She was going to be okay.

At least, she was trying to be. Hoped she would be.

No, she _knew_ she would be.

She'd been through worse than having a crush unrequited. This wouldn't be the end of her.

She'd march into school the next day with a smile on her face, optimistic as usual, and take on the rest of the week with her head held high.

She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng: class president, superheroine Ladybug, and awesome designer. She could take on the world, if she wanted.

But that was tomorrow.

Tonight…

Tonight, she was just Marinette. A tired girl with a broken heart, who only wanted to sleep.

Breathing slowly, Marinette looked at her partner with a feeble smile; one less forced. Although her heart hurt, it warmed at the thought of her friend—her second half—dropping by to check on her when he barely even knew who she was.

Chat Noir was a good friend. She'd never forget that.

"Thank you," she repeated, "for making sure I'm okay."

_For making sure I didn't fall victim to Papillon._

With a small nod, Chat offered her a grin, green eyes brightening. "Of course, Marinette," he said. "Just think positive, okay? You're one of the last people I'd ever want to see akumatized."

Cupping her hand over her mouth to politely stifle a yawn, Marinette nodded in return, feeling her smile grow just slightly. It was nice to be able to smile, even after a day like the one she'd had. "I'll try my best, Chat Noir."

Chat's expression warmed. "Well," he began, shrugging his shoulders as he reached behind his back and grabbed his baton, extending it out as he stood. "I guess I should get going. Don't want to keep you up too late."

"Wait!" Marinette stood quicker than she should have, tripping over her own feet and falling forwards. For a split second she feared she would plant face-first onto the floor and break her nose, embarrassing herself even further in front of Chat Noir and having to head to the hospital, but-

-but the ground never came. She didn't fall to the floor, or break any bones.

No, she…

...she had fallen straight into Chat Noir's arms.

"Woah," Chat chuckled, helping her stand up straight before releasing her from his hold. "Careful, Marinette."

Marinette swallowed, legs trembling as she gazed up at her partner.

Huh...that was weird. Felt almost like déjà-vu.

Why the heck did he have to be so tall? It was unfair!

"Um," she said, articulately. "I'm okay. I'm just clumsy, that's all."

An odd sense of familiarity made her dizzy, but she knew it was just her sleep-deprived brain playing tricks on her.

Sleep.

Sleep sounded nice at the moment.

"Actually," she continued, "before you go, I just wanted to know...are _you_ okay? You're just kind of- I don't know, acting sad."

Chat Noir hummed, shifting his eyes to the street below (where her mug had most likely fallen) before laughing softly, reaching out a clawed hand to ruffle her hair—something Adrien would do—before standing atop the terrace railing. "Don't you worry about little old me, Marinette. Nothing can keep this cat down."

Marinette didn't buy it, but smiled despite herself. "If you say so, Chat Noir."

"Have a good night." Chat shot her a good-natured wink, but his eyes widened as he glanced down at the sidewalk below, expression morphing into one of a silent apology. "Ahh, whoops. I guess I'll be seeing you again soon, with a new mug."

Rolling her eyes, Marinette gave a tiny snort of laughter. It felt so natural to talk with him, even out of the suit. "That's not necessary. I have plenty."

But Chat Noir shook his head, smiling genuinely as he pressed a hand to his chest. "Nuh-uh, Marinette. I break it, I buy it. I'll get you a new one, cat's honor."

"Alright, alright." Marinette gave a dismissive wave of her hand, unable to suppress the grin that split her face. "Thank you."

With a final salute, Chat Noir bid her goodbye and vaulted off. Watching as her partner leaped and ran through the city's rooftops, Marinette sighed, shivering at the absence of warmth he had supplied. Whether it was his presence or just his personality, she did feel a little bit better, thankful at least somebody could cheer her up that night—even if was just slightly.

Alya had been there for her more than anyone else, of course; texting her and calling her and staying over just to make sure she was alright. She'd allowed Marinette to cry into her arms, to soak her shoulder with tears; she'd let her cry and cry and _complain_ and whine and anything that would help her feel as if she wasn't carrying such a heavy weight inside of her body.

Alya was her best friend, the one she could tell anything to (excluding one secret). Marinette would do anything for her, and Alya would do anything for Marinette in return.

And while Alya knew how to cheer her up, somehow Chat Noir just had a way about him that made Marinette smile even when she didn't want to.

Silly cat.

Feeling exhausted and overdue for a good night's rest, Marinette picked up her discarded book and slipped back into her bedroom, landing atop her bed with a light bounce. Right away a pleasant warmth enveloped her, ridding the chill of the open air from her skin and replacing it with the subtle tingle of cozy heat. Her bedroom was nice and toasty, just how she liked it, and all of the lights were already off. It was perfect for sleep.

"You okay, Marinette?" Tikki's tiny voice peeped up from the shelf above her bed, where she was nestled in a makeshift nest of yellow fabric. "You were up there for a while."

Marinette nodded, crawling underneath her duvet. She smiled as she leaned over to switch on her night light, giving Tikki's head a tiny scratch in the process. "Yeah, I'm better. Tired, but better."

Tikki yawned, sliding her big indigo eyes closed and nuzzling deeper into her miniature bed. "Good," she yawned. "Tomorrow will be a good day, wont it?"

"I hope so."

"I know so."

Feeling her chest become just a little lighter, Marinette rested her head atop her pillow and allowed the cloud of its comfort to pull her in. Her bed was soft and her blanket was heavy and warm, filling her from the inside out with a wonderful feeling of drowsiness that immediately began to lull her into a sweet, sweet sleep-

_Bzz bzz!_

...and her phone vibrated.

"Seriously!?" Marinette groaned, sitting bolt upright and grabbing her phone from its charging port by her shelf. "I was just about to sleep!"

Tikki's tiny giggles rose up from the bundle of cloth.

Alya's name flashed upon the screen, a recent message underneath. The light of her phone was blindingly bright, and with a mumble of a curse Marinette lowered the brightness, feeling her eyes sting from the sudden light. She could just ignore the text, pretend she was sleep, but...this was _Alya,_ the girl who had been there for her all day and even all night. She couldn't just ignore her best friend.

Friends were more important than sleep.

Seeing that it was only a text to check up on her, Marinette felt herself smile, answering with a simple "yes" and plopping back down onto her pillow. Her head sunk within the plush pink and a sigh blew past her lips, body thanking her for finally lying down. It felt great.

She texted Alya for a bit before deciding that she really needed to head to bed, giving her friend a goodnight text and exiting out of their chat. A yawn forced its way out of her mouth, and her eyes watered from the sheer intensity of it; Marinette knew that within any moment she'd crash. All she had to do was put her phone down, close her eyes, and sleep…

...but then the last text Adrien had sent on Sunday morning caught her eye.

"No," she whined in protest, opening up his latest message. "I'm not doing this."

But her eyes betrayed her, reading over his messages from very early Sunday morning. The last messages he had sent when their friendship was still unhindered, and the last messages they had exchanged before she'd gone and confessed.

A low groan rose in Marinette's throat.

Why did she have to act so awkward about this? Why couldn't they just go back to texting until the late hours, sending each other stupid memes or laughable conspiracy theories? Why, _why_ did she have to _ruin_ it?

Her eyes began to burn from the sight of what he had last texted her.

 **Adrien  
Sunday, 4:02 A.M.:** Wait huh

 **Adrien  
Sunday, 4:04 A.M.: ** Mari waiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttt come back

 **Adrien  
Sunday, 4:06 A.M.:** Are you feeling okay? 3:

So nice...so kind. Adrien was always so kind. Caring about her even when she'd said something weird.

Figures she'd go and ruin that.

Marinette felt _awful._ She'd been avoiding him all day and had probably hurt his feelings in the process! What kind of friend was she?

What kind of friend avoided another?

Worriedly nibbling on her bottom lip, Marinette's hands trembled as she typed out an apology, but quickly decided against it and instead threw her phone upon her mattress to keep it away from her stupid fingers. She wasn't doing this tonight. She was just going to leave her phone alone, close her eyes, and _sleep._

Her eyes were closed.

She laid still.

Yes, good. That was how people slept. They closed their eyes, didn't move, and-

A dull ringing sound rose from her phone.

-and apparently, when people wanted to sleep, they called their friends on accident.

"No!" Marinette gasped, retrieving her cell and frantically attempting to push the red "end call" button, hopefully ceasing the ringing and not allowing the boy on the other line to pick up-

"Marinette?"

_Oh, hell._

A feeling of dread washed over her at the sound of Adrien's tired, raspy voice. God, did he have to sound so _attractive_ when she was trying to get over him?

_Oh, no, did I wake him up!?_

Swallowing heavily, Marinette pushed past the fear that lingered within her bones and shoved her cell phone against her ear, taking a slow breath and mentally counting to three before she spoke. _Might as well…_

"A-Adrien?" she whispered, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm sorry, d-did I wake you?"

She could hear a soft intake a breath, and there was a faint shuffling sound on the other line, followed by a yawn. "Not exactly," Adrien replied. "Well, I was almost asleep, but it's okay."

_Shiiiit._

"Oh," was all Marinette could say.

An uncomfortable, drawn out silence followed.

And it felt so, so awkward.

"God, I'm sorry," Marinette sighed, slapping her arm to her forehead and adjusting herself so that she was lying on her back. "To be honest, I called you on accident. I was going to text you to apologize for everything, but then I called and freaked out and tried to end it but then you answered and I don't know what to say, and this is awkward-"

The sound of Adrien's sleepy chuckle made Marinette want to _melt._ "S'alright, Mari. What's up?"

"Um." How was she supposed to answer that? "Sleeping?"

Another laugh rose from her phone, quieter than the last yet still just as adorably Adrien. "You're talking to me in your sleep?"

Marinette managed a tiny snort. "No, I'm...I was _trying_ to sleep. Actually...I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

There was a pause. "Me? I'm fine, Marinette. I'm just worried about _you._ "

Marinette hummed, allowing herself to yawn. She was far too tired to be speaking on the phone at the moment, but...the sound of Adrien's voice was one she had grown to love so much, and she couldn't bring herself to end the call. From the sound of it, he was tired as well, and she should _really_ let him go to bed…

"I'm fine," she said, voice faint; tired. "Better than I was earlier today. I'm still sorry about that."

"Don't apologize." Adrien's voice was growing softer, as if he was having a difficult time keeping himself awake. "You haven't done anything wrong, Mari. Trust me. I'm glad you're feeling better, though."

A smile twitched at the corner of Marinette's lips. "Yeah. A friend cheered me up."

"Oh, yeah?" Adrien said, and she could swear she heard joy in his voice. "That's good to hear!"

Marinette nodded in reply, although she knew her friend couldn't see. She mostly just felt too _tired_ to reply, feeling herself slowly slipping out of consciousness with every passing second. She knew within minutes she'd be out, which meant it was probably best if she hung up the phone, but _Adrien…_

"Mari, if you're tired, you should get some sleep."

"Hm…?"

Was he speaking…? His voice was so nice…

"You're falling asleep, Mar."

Oh, she was. "Yeah."

"Go to bed, silly," Adrien laughed, followed by a muffled shuffling noise that sounded like he was turning in bed.

But she couldn't go to sleep yet. She had to apologize. That was what she had called for anyways, wasn't it?

"I can't yet," she told him, rubbing at her sleepy eyes. She was so incredibly tired, but if she slept before they talked, then tomorrow would be just as awkward as today had, or possibly even _worse_. "I have to talk…"

"Talk?"

"Yes," Marinette said. "I'm sorry for avoiding you today. And also sorry for being emotional. It wasn't right of me to hide from you, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Mariii," Adrien yawned, chuckling in a soft, weary voice. "Come on, it's okay. You don't need to apologize for all of that stuff. I'm not mad at you, I promise. You can't help your feelings and I'm happy you were honest with me. I understand you need some space right now, and that's okay. Whenever you feel better, just let me know."

Goodness…

Marinette was _so_ in love with this boy.

She hummed out an answer, allowing her heavy eyes to fall closed. She was too exhausted to harbor any emotion other than _sleep_ and yawned heavily, tears pricking her eyes from how heavy it was. "I'm trying to feel better," she whispered, voice hoarse. "I am. I just...I don't want to ruin our friendship…"

"It's not ruined," Adrien assured her, his own voice growing thick with sleep. "Just needs a little work, I think. Maybe when we're not so tired we should talk about it."

"I guess."

A pregnant silence fell between them, and Marinette frowned. She was so tired of being awkward with one of her best friends, and she felt as if it was all her fault…

Seeing as she was the one who had confessed, it probably was.

"Adrien?" she whispered, voice hopeful. Adrien responded with a sleepy, "yeah?"

Marinette smiled at how adorable he sounded when tired. Even though she knew he didn't love her back the way she loved him, and probably never would, she still couldn't help how _in_ love with him she felt, even if it hurt her to think about it. Wiping the tears she just noticed were dripping onto her pillow, she spoke. "Thank you for being gentle about all of this. I know I'm being weird and awkward right now, and any other guy would have probably just avoided me and treated me differently…" Her voice trailed off, becoming quieter with every word. "...but you're still there for me. And checking up on me." She paused to smile. "You're a really good friend."

Marinette could practically feel the warmth radiating through the phone as Adrien replied. "Well, I mean, even though I don't love you romantically, I still love you as a friend, you know? Just like I love Nino and Alya. I want to make sure you're alright. I don't like to see my friends hurting…"

Even though he was being honest, hearing him admit again that he had no romantic feelings for her hurt, and Marinette struggled to hide the pain in her voice. "Thank you," she whispered, her emotions all over the place, seeing as she became suddenly mournful again. "I, um...I think I'm going to bed now. I'm sorry, I'm just really tired...but thank you, Adrien. It means a lot."

She was glad Adrien didn't seem to notice the dejected crack in her voice.

"Goodnight, Marinette," Adrien breathed, "sleep well."

Marinette whispered out a feeble goodnight and hung up the phone, considering whether or not it would be best to attempt to sleep anymore. While she was exhausted, her heart ached, and every fiber in her body begged her just to _cry_ and let it all out like she so badly desired to _._

(But she couldn't do that. Her parents would hear her.)

She didn't know why she was feeling so awful. Maybe it was the heartbreak over an unrequited crush, or maybe it was because she was so tired...or, possibly it was because she was due for her "time of the month" in a few days...which would explain the all-over-the-place emotions.

Whatever it may be, Marinette hated it. She wanted to scream and cry and bury herself under her blankets for the rest of the week.

_You're stronger than this. You're stronger than this. You're stronger than this._

Tears slipped from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks and leaving tiny damp droplets on her pillow.

 _I_ will _be stronger than this._

But even those who were strong cried sometimes.

Wiping her tears with the back of her arm, Marinette sniffled, opening up the dial pad on her phone. If there was one person who could make her feel better when she was down, it was Alya. She would always be there for her with some best friend comforts.

The phone rang three times before Alya picked up, her voice clear, which was good—it meant she hadn't gone to bed yet.

A small breath of relief escaped Marinette's lips.

"Alya?" she asked, wiping the dreaded tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I know it's late. I just got off the phone with Adrien. I was stupid to call him and I just…" She sniffled. "I need you right now."

"Oh, girl," Alya sighed, concern for her friend immediately seeping into her voice. "I'll be over in ten. Do you want hot chocolate?"

Marinette smiled, thankful that she at least had a wonderful best friend to care for her in her times of need. She would make it up to her tomorrow with coffee or some pastries or _something_ , but for now...all she needed was a hug.

_Tomorrow will be a better day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost took out the phone call scene, but felt it was cute enough to leave.  
> See you all again in about two weeks with another update! ♥
> 
> (I am [on Tumblr](http://frostedpuffs.tumblr.com/) if you want to get hold of me for whatever reason. I'm always open to suggestions!)


	4. Things Will Get Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug and Chat Noir take a relaxing break from patrol.
> 
>  
> 
> _Previous chapter: Chat Noir and Marinette had a somewhat awkward conversation after Chat was caught lurking around her balcony. Once he left, Marinette tried to sleep...but ended up accidentally giving Adrien a call instead._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!
> 
> Super super sorry about how long it took me to update. I went back to college, started a new job and have been more depressed than I'd like to admit, so it was hard for me to get motivated.
> 
> I'm amazed by the support of my followers, though. You're all so patient and sweet and lovely, and I couldn't ask for better readers. I love you all so much!
> 
> Also, @Yunyin on Tumblr did some AMAZING fanart for the last chapter! **[Check it out!](http://frostedpuffs.tumblr.com/post/155281107305/yunyin-tfw-you-need-to-go-make-sure-your-friend)** (I'm still screaming from excitement!)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's been supportive. I appreciate you more than you can imagine.
> 
> Now for a fluffy update to help ease all the angst I've put you through.
> 
> (Also, to those who say Chat Noir shouldn't call Ladybug "Buginette": he literally calls her that in the French dub instead of "Bugaboo." This fic is written in context to the French dub...just so you know.)

Adrien's favorite color was blue.

It was a common misconception that his color of preference was green. Every article published in both fashion and teen magazines alike insisted that his favorite shade was striking, like his eyes, but he had never once confirmed these claims and would be lying if he did.

He adored every shade of blue. Blue like a crystalline sky the day after a storm when clouds are too lazy to be seen trailing any closer than hundreds of miles apart, and blue like the soft fleece of his favorite birthday gift to date—the scarf his father had gifted to him two years back—which he held close to his heart and always near whenever he felt in need of a moment's comfort, or perhaps a brief escape from the clawed hands of reality.

Adrien's favorite color was blue because it reminded him of _home_. Not of the Agreste mansion, of course, but of something _more;_ a deeper, more profound feeling of home that nothing other than a certain shade of cerulean happened to spur within him. A warm, soothing feeling that filled him to the brim with pure contentedness.

Adrien loved blue for many reasons, yes, but there was no other blue like the fiery eyes of his Lady, and from the moment he'd first locked gazes with her what seemed like forever ago, he knew—he _knew_ he'd never look at sapphires the same way ever again.

Because blue was the color of Ladybug's eyes and blue was all his world had become.

Blue was his home.

And honestly...could there be a better home than by his partner's side?

He didn't even want to think of the possibility.

"You're quiet tonight, huh?"

Blinking open an eye, Adrien grinned, a single black ear twitching against his tousled hair. He sat up from the gravelly texture of the roof with a stretch and rose his arms high into the air, clawed fingers digging into his palms as he let out a drawn-out yawn. "I could say the same about you, Buginette."

Ladybug offered him a shrug, shifting her gaze to the city streets below where cars whizzed along the roads in a stream of red and yellow lights. "I guess I'm just thinking."

The night air was cool and the city was as quiet as Paris got, and by all means they both should have been grateful that there was no danger lurking about, but...Adrien couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of disappointment tug at his chest. It was small and barely noticeable, but undeniably _there._ If they had something to occupy them, perhaps Ladybug wouldn't be looking so blue—and not in the kind that made him feel like everything was right, because judging by her expression, well-

...Well, she looked as pitiful as a kicked puppy, and he wasn't about to sit idle and let whatever was bothering her go unspoken.

So, with a gentle smile Adrien lifted himself to his feet and plopped down next to his partner, legs dangling over the edge of the roof and voice as soft as an autumn morning. "Thinking about?" he asked, and for a brief moment Ladybug smiled—a small victory, Adrien thought—before the corners of her mouth drooped downwards and she let out a long, wistful sigh.

"It's been a long week," she murmured, legs coming up to rest against her chest and arms wrapping around her knees. "A really, really long week."

A pang of sympathy smacked Adrien hard in the chest, and his smile fell. "What's up?"

Ladybug gave a noncommittal mumble and shook her head, sitting up and allowing her legs to hang over the roof once more. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes had gone dull, but she forced a smile to her face and patted his shoulder, obviously thankful he was at least concerned about her wellbeing. "I'm alright, Chat Noir. Just a little tired, that's all. These past couple of days have been kind of rough."

"Rough?" Adrien asked, scooting just a tad closer. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Turning her head to gaze at him, Ladybug's expression flattened and her lips lowered into a frown—a look that Adrien knew said more than words could ever hope to.

"I know," he sighed as he placed a gloved hand on her back and began rubbing up and down in a slow, comforting motion. "I know we have to be careful about what we say, but...at least let me be there for you, okay? I want to be. And if you're having a bad day, I promise I'll do whatever I can to make it at least a little better."

A half-hearted chuckle rose from Ladybug's throat and her smile returned as her head rested snugly atop his shoulder. She was quiet for a moment—completely still except for the gentle rise and fall of her chest—before she buried her face within the fabric of his suit and spoke in a soft, subdued voice. "I wish I could tell you everything. It'd be a lot easier that way."

A breeze blew through the rooftops, chilling Adrien's cheeks and ruffling his already messy hair. He allowed it to pass in silence, breathing in the cool air that filled his nostrils and willing his muscles to relax. Even a simple touch of Ladybug's head to his shoulder had him tensing up (for reasons he'd always been too shy to disclose) and internally he was juggling between simply sitting still or wrapping his partner up into the biggest, tightest bear hug he could manage.

By the look of her scrunched up expression, Adrien could tell she needed it, but...he'd never press boundaries. Not unless she made it clear she wanted him to cross them.

Was a hug crossing boundaries? Could he hug her without it being weird?

Of course he could, they were friends! He could hug her.

...Only if she wanted him to, though…

"Do you need a hug?" he blurted, mentally cursing himself as soon as the question fell from his lips. He hoped it wasn't awkward to ask. Ears drooping, he looked away from his partner. "Sorry, I shouldn't-"

Before he could finish his apology, however, Ladybug was laughing...somewhat. It sounded weary and a bit forced, but it was a laugh nonetheless. In an instant her arms were around him, and as Adrien turned his gaze to her, he could tell she was smiling. She was smiling a real smile and it made him feel as if he had at least helped a little bit, in his own weird sort of way.

That's how it usually was between them. The simplest, oddest things could cheer them up in the blink of an eye, even if it was minor. Adrien supposed that was part of what made them such a great team.

After all, good partners needed to know how to make each other smile, right?

"You don't have to be afraid to ask if I need a hug, Chat Noir," Ladybug said, squishing her cheek against his chest as she pulled him into a closer embrace. "Silly cat. You hug me all the time."

Adrien grinned, returning the hug tightly. "Yeah, but those kinds of hugs usually aren't in serious situations like this. Those are like, 'I'm so glad we kicked that guy's butt' kind of hugs."

Much to his glee, Ladybug snorted. "Then consider this a 'I'm so glad we kicked this sadness' butt' kind of hug."

"Oh, yeah?" Adrien chuckled. "Bien joué, my Lady."

Ladybug buried her face against his chest and laughed, a beautiful and wonderful sound. "Bien joué, kitty."

Their fists tapped together, a silent reminder that they would always be an unstoppable team.

They sat together for what seemed like hours, confiding in each others warmth and enjoying the sensation of being held. It was a lovely sort of comfort, and Adrien found himself wishing he'd never have to pull away. After all, his week had kind of been rough as well, so the hug was doing more than good for the both of them.

Over the last few days things between him and Marinette had been looking up. Last week's rejection had left them both distraught, and their friendship in shambles. When she'd avoided him afterwards, he'd felt as if everything between them was ruined...especially when he'd caught her napping in the library, seemingly exhausted from lack of sleep—which he was all too sure he'd been the cause of.

(He briefly remembered the smashed mug from the other night, and made a mental note to bring Marinette a new one as soon as he could.)

At least the past few days had been better. Not perfect, but better. He was thankful Marinette was talking to him again.

Even if he managed to catch a brief glint of pain in her eyes every so often.

He'd given her some space, of course, knowing she needed it, but admittedly it was hard for him to stray from her. She was his friend, one he cared about deeply; he couldn't just walk away and pretend as if everything was right when it was so, so wrong.

Things were _wrong._

So he'd been talking to her, asking her about her day, even offering to walk her home once or twice. She'd allowed him to earlier in the day, and while it hadn't been a "chasing each other through the city streets" kind of stroll, it had still been nice. They'd talked, Marinette had smiled, and the world had seemed a little more at peace.

(Adrien wondered in passing if, in some universe he hadn't met Ladybug first, his heart would belong to another girl with black hair and gorgeous blue eyes…)

But that was silly to think about. He couldn't imagine loving any other girl besides Ladybug.

_Ladybug…_

On instinct, Adrien pressed his nose against the top of her head and sighed, relishing in the simple pleasure of holding the person he cared about most. She was so warm, and so small...it was kind of hard to believe that she hadn't broken the hug yet…

Curious, Adrien pulled his face away from her hair and blinked down at her, a quiet laugh rising from his lips as he noticed that Ladybug seemed to be drifting off to sleep.

"Tired, 'Bug?" he asked, grinning as his partner snapped her head up. "I could go for a cat nap myself."

Ladybug yawned, blinking apologetically. "Sorry, Chat Noir. I kind of haven't been sleeping much lately." Slowly, she peeled herself away from his hold and Adrien nearly whined at the loss of warmth.

Dang, she had been so cozy. They didn't hug like that often.

"Troubled mind?" he found himself asking, leaning back on his palms as his legs swung over the ledge of the roof. His chest felt cold at the lack of body heat, and a slight shiver ran up his spine.

Ladybug offered a shrug in response. "You could say that."

Adrien frowned thoughtfully. He wondered what was bothering her, and if there was any possible way that he could rid whatever was causing her to be restless. Was it a person, or maybe school stress? Family issues? Work-related problems?

If Ladybug had a job. He didn't know. If she did, he hoped it was easy on her. Easier than his was on him, at least.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, somewhat hoping Ladybug would confide in him. If she didn't want to he'd understand, though…

"...Kind of," Ladybug replied, "but at the same time...no? I've been doing better and I think talking about him— _it_ —will only make me circle back to square one again."

_Him?_

Swallowing bitterly, Adrien quelled the surge of jealously that threatened to rise up within him and went to lay a hand on Ladybug's shoulder instead, but hesitated and pulled back before he made contact. _Boundaries._

He needn't feel jealous...she might just be talking about a friend, or a brother, or her dad or cousin or _someone_ -

Adrien had always been the jealous type. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't, and he really didn't want to be, but he was only human. Sometimes there were emotions that he just couldn't repress.

(Being the cause of Copycat had certainly forced him to see the error of his ways, though.)

 _Don't be jealous,_ he told himself, _don't be jealous. Don't be jealous. You have no reason to be jealous._

"But," Ladybug continued, snapping Adrien out of his rumination. "It's okay. I have friends like you to support me when I'm down. I guess that's what life is like, right?"

One of Adrien's velvet ears twitched in interest, and his chest momentarily warmed at his Lady's words. "Like what?"

Through a sigh, Ladybug gave him a sad smile. "It's tough, and it sucks sometimes, but the people around us make it worth living. So what if something bad happens, right? Within a month or two I'll be laughing about it, and he and I will be friends again like nothing ever happened. We'll both laugh at the memory, and things will be better." She paused to place her head within her palm and gaze thoughtfully out at the city, bluebell eyes twinkling under the yellow lights. "Things always get better."

The jealousy that had began to simmer under Adrien's skin vanished, and like a river running down a mountain he felt all negative emotion completely drain from his body. A brief flash of guilt swept through him, but he suppressed it—he was here to help Ladybug, after all. Not to feel sorry for himself.

She was fighting with a friend it seemed. A friend who was close to her, one she must have known for a long time; whatever she and him were going through wouldn't bother her as much if they weren't dear to each other, he was sure.

Whatever it was she was having trouble with, he hoped it would remedy soon.

(The guilt resurfaced for just a moment, and Adrien restrained the urge to frown. He shouldn't have been jealous over a friend of hers. He didn't even know if Ladybug liked guys that way at all!)

Clearing his throat, Adrien flashed his Lady a bright smile and patted her back, hoping to at least calm some of her nerves over the stressful situation. "Well," he began, "if you two are close friends, I'm sure whatever you're fighting about, or whatever the problem is, will go away soon. And I do hope things get better for you, Buginette. I care about you and want to see you happy. You know that, right?"

Ladybug nodded, her voice soft. "Right. And I care about you, too."

"Good." Adrien felt his heartbeat quicken. "If you ever need anything...I'm here. Even if you can't say a word, if you need a hug or someone to rant to or yell at, I'll always-"

Letting out a faint giggle, Ladybug nodded once more before giving his shoulder a gentle touch, her grin as bright as the moon itself. "I know, minou. I know. And I appreciate it more than anything in the world. But I'd never yell at you if you didn't deserve it. Thank you for allowing me to vent a little bit, though." Her hand fell back to her lap, where she fiddled with the string of her yo-yo. "I really needed that, I think."

Adrien's lips perked upwards into a sentimental smile. _You and me both._

It was moments like these that made his heart soar. He was sure Ladybug had no idea how much he truly adored her, and half of him desperately wanted to tell her, but at the moment he was content to just sit beside her atop of an apartment complex in the midst of Paris for all of eternity. Moments where they were silent, taking a break from patrol to relax together and converse were the best, and he wouldn't give them up for the world. Moments where he could watch Ladybug be mesmerized by the city while in turn he was completely, utterly mesmerized by _her._

The way the golden hues of Parisian lights played with her features pulled at his heartstrings, and how her eyes—that gorgeous _blue_ he adored so much—sparkled under the twinkling luminescence of the city they both loved and protected reminded him of how very beautiful his partner was—as if he had ever forgotten. While the sky was starless, the city had but one, and she was placed comfortably to his left, dazzling in her wake.

If only he had the guts to fess up about his feelings….maybe if he did, she'd return them just as strongly.

Maybe they could have something great someday. Something even more amazing than the relationship they already had (which was wonderful on its own.)

A blissful sigh blew past Adrien's lips, his eyes blinking without hurry. The urge to reach out and grab Ladybug's hand was powerful, but he refrained, knowing very well that she was happy with her hands clasped together in her lap, fingers fidgeting mindlessly with her weapon.

Still, it would be nice to wrap his hand around hers...and to lovingly brush her knuckles with his thumb…

Ladybug's titter broke him out of his thoughts. "So how long were you planning on staring at me?"

"Ahh-" Adrien felt his face heat up in an embarrassed flush, eyes quickly darting away to stare at the road below, which suddenly became incredibly interesting. "Sorry."

Rolling her eyes, Ladybug pushed herself to a stand. "Come on, kitty. We've got a patrol to finish," she said, spinning her yo-yo. "Even if there's not much for us to look out for. We've got a duty to the city, you know."

Adrien nodded, getting up to his feet and grabbing his baton from behind his back, feeling a tad disappointed that they had to cut their break so short. He had really been enjoying sitting with her, and that hug had been so nice and warm...and she still looked kind of sad, too...

"Are you sure?" he found himself asking, forcing back a grin at how he towered over her. She'd always been so short, hadn't she? Or perhaps he was just really tall.

Confused, Ladybug cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Adrien said, "there's nothing else you want to...I don't know, talk about?"

It was a feeble reach, but if there was something deeper bugging Ladybug (ha, puns) shouldn't he help her in any way he could?

Ladybug simply shrugged. "Well...I'm alright. I've been getting better. This week's probably at my number one spot for 'most awful', but…I'm a strong girl, Chat Noir." She smiled up at him, giving his shoulder a gentle tap with her fist. "If I can handle getting up at three A.M. to fight villains sometimes, I think I can get through a rough week just fine."

At her assurance, Adrien felt his cheeks redden. She was right. Ladybug was his tough, confident fireball of a partner and she could handle anything that came her way. She could kick this week's ass with her hands tied behind her back, all without breaking a sweat.

...But if she needed a little help along the way, he wouldn't be opposed to assisting in kicking said ass.

"Well, alright," he said, still somewhat worried about her mental state. "But if you need anything, I have a _purr_ fectly good shoulder for you to cry on."

Ladybug gave a groan in response. "You and your puns. Honestly," she laughed, "why do I put up with you?"

"Hmm." Adrien held his finger and thumb against his chin as he feigned being deep in thought before he gave her a toothy grin, leaning down so that he was at her eye level. "I dunno, maybe because you love me or something?"

His partner giggled and pressed her finger against his nose, pushing his face away from her own. "Sure, kitty. Or something."

For a brief moment, Adrien allowed his heart to flap wildly in his chest. _She didn't deny it._

He'd let himself have that small twinge of hope for the night.

Just for the night.

"Come on," Ladybug said, twirling her yo-yo at her side. It produced a faint red glow, which bounced beautifully off of her suit. "Let's finish this patrol so I can go home and eat some ice cream."

"Hey, sounds good to me," Adrien laughed, preparing his baton to leap off of the roof. He briefly wondered what her favorite flavor of ice cream was, and if he could somehow buy her some one night. Maybe they could have an ice cream date or something. "What's your favorite?"

Ladybug pondered his question for a moment, tapping her chin idly. "I'd have to say strawberry. I love the color and the taste."

Adrien made a mental note to buy a pint of strawberry ice cream on the way home. " _Paw_ sonally, I prefer cookie dough. Can't get enough of it."

Ladybug rolled her eyes at his pun and then she was off, zipping across the rooftops like an angel in the night. It took everything Adrien had within him not to swoon, and as he chased after her (like he always would) he couldn't help but think of how much he had come to appreciate her friendship over their two years of partnership. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it, and every time he thought of the future...well, she was always by his side.

Sometimes it was simply them fighting akuma, or defeating Papillon...and others, it was of them sharing an apartment, or perhaps, if he allowed himself to truly dream, of them wearing matching rings.

But he was getting ahead of himself. They were only friends—partners in heroism. He didn't even know the first letter of her name.

Maybe someday he would, though.

If he allowed himself to hope.

* * *

The next morning, Adrien found himself groaning into his pillow as his alarm blared insistently somewhere in the room.

He remembered slipping in late last night after patrol with Ladybug, and he also remembered stopping at a twenty-four hour convenience store just before he went home...and yes, he definitely recalled the source of his stomach ache. The painful yet delicious source.

Ladybug was right. Strawberry ice cream did taste good.

(It certainly didn't _feel_ good when half a gallon had been consumed in under a half hour, though.)

"Plagg," Adrien moaned, grabbing a second pillow and squishing it against his head in a feeble attempt to shut out the screeching of his phone. "Plagg, turn off the alarm, _please._ "

Plagg gave a grunt in protest, and after a moment of sleepy grumbles and shuffling blankets, the grueling noise was silenced. "It's your fault you feel this way, you know."

Adrien pressed a hand to his belly and sighed, knowing very well his kwami had a point. He'd always had a gentle stomach, and the fact that he rarely indulged in sweets didn't help to ease the uncomfortable bubbling.

He couldn't find himself regretting it, though.

The ice cream had just been too good.

(And unfortunately, his lack of self control had not.)

Ignoring the way his stomach whined in protest, Adrien dragged himself out of bed, slipped out of his pajamas and into a t-shirt and jeans, then headed to the bathroom to mend the horror that was his bedhead. It was a miracle that detransforming somewhat fixed his hair, lest he wake up looking like a literal furball.

He sped through his morning routine (as usual) and flopped backwards onto his bed once he'd put his coat on, letting a long, tired sigh fall from his lips.

Last night's patrol had run a little late. It wasn't unusual for him and Ladybug to pause for a chat, but taking a break for more than ten minutes was not a common occurrence for them. Sure, every now and then they'd get a snack or stop to take a breather after a particularly tiring game of chase, but sitting to just…talk or open up, well…

It didn't happen often.

Adrien was thankful Ladybug trusted him enough to confide in him, though.

(Of course he knew she trusted him more than any other person, but it was still nice to be given proof of that every so often.)

At the thought of his partner—his very best friend—Adrien's heart thumped in his chest, beating wildly against his ribcage in the most pleasant way possible. With a smile, he placed his hand over his chest and gazed at his ceiling, wondering just for a moment if, in a world where he was brave enough to tell her exactly how he felt, she would confess that she loved him as well.

(He also knew she loved him very much—just not in the same way he loved her.

At least, that's what he thought.)

If he told her...would she smile and laugh, admitting that she had been waiting ages for him to confirm his feelings? Or would she blush and hug him, blue eyes twinkling like every star he couldn't see at night?

Maybe she'd kiss him. Maybe- maybe she'd kiss him and hug him and smile and laugh and all of those great things.

Adrien could feel his cheeks heating up, and as he closed his eyes for just a moment, he could _see_ her, giggling and giving him the biggest, brightest grin he'd ever seen.

 _Tell me, my Lady,_ he mused, _what exactly do you feel for me?_

And even though Adrien wanted nothing more than to tell her every precious thought he'd been keeping to himself for two years, there was a small twinge of fear that pricked at his side like a thorn, reminding him of events a week prior that had put a damper on another friend he held close to his heart.

Marinette was braver than he. She'd worked up the courage to tell the person she loved her feelings, only to get shot down.

Adrien knew he couldn't help how he felt. He simply didn't harbor romantic feelings for her, and that was okay. It hurt him to know that he'd made her sad, of course...but she was doing better now. Marinette was doing okay.

He'd never think less of her for her confession. He was proud of her for holding together so well, because-

...well, because he knew himself that if he finally decided to share his affections with Ladybug, and she rejected him…

...he'd be more of a mess than Marinette ever was.

And that was what terrified him the most.

An impatient knock on his door jarred him out of his thoughts.

"Adrien?" Nathalie called. "Your driver is outside waiting for you. If you don't hurry, you're going to be late for your first class."

Jeez, how much time had he spent lying in bed?

"Coming, Nathalie!" Sitting up, Adrien grabbed his phone and stuffed it into his pants pocket, searching briefly for his scarf. It didn't take long for him to find it, since he usually left it at his bedside. For some reason he had some sort of weird attachment to it, be it the comforting texture or who it had been from, and rarely let it stray too far.

(Sometimes, when his anxiety was particularly monstrous, he'd run his fingers over the fleece until it soothed his gushing nerves.)

Lifting up a discarded pillow on his bed, Adrien quirked an eyebrow at his snoozing kwami. "Plagg," he sighed. "Come on, buddy. Time to get up."

Plagg mumbled something incoherent before burying himself deeper beneath the sheets, appearing as nothing more than a lump in the covers save for the tip of his tail.

"Plagg." Adrien pulled the blanket back, not amused. "Plagg, we have to go _now_."

 _Every morning,_ he thought with a grimace. _Every morning we go through this. It's been two years, and every morning-_

A metaphorical light bulb flashed over Adrien's head, and a nearly villainous smirk stretched across his face. "Plagg, there's plenty of stinky camembert waiting for you in the car."

Like a flash of black lightning Plagg zipped out from underneath the blankets with a gasp, perching himself atop his Chosen's shoulder. His tiny tail twitched in excitement and his eyes, so big and green, sparkled like a child's on Christmas morning, excited to unwrap gifts of all kinds from underneath the tree. "Well?" he said, motioning towards the door with his bulbous head. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

A small chuckle rose from Adrien's throat. Giving his kwami an affectionate scratch on the head (because no matter how they both loved to deny it, they cared about each other), he made his way out to the front of the Agreste mansion, relishing in the way rays of golden sunshine heated his skin. It was rare that autumn in Paris warmed up this much, and much to his glee, Adrien noted that it might be wise to leave his coat in the car. He was one to enjoy warm weather, after all, and he had a good feeling today was going to be beautiful enough to not need to bundle up.

Beautiful days were the best kinds of days.

Gorgeous and bright, the sun shone magnificently down on the world like a breath of morning air, showering the city in a dreamlike luminescence that made Adrien breathe a sigh of relief.

Ladybug was right. It had been a rough week.

Adrien assured himself that he would make sure the next was a good one—for the both of them.

Eyes to the sky, Adrien smiled, feeling his shoulders relax as a particularly fluffy cloud lazed about the ocean of blue. "Have a good day, Ladybug," he whispered to himself. "I hope you get a chance to smile, at least once."

He of all people knew she deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopeless romantic Adrien is my aesthetic
> 
> the boy is so hopelessly in love i s2g
> 
> Want to know a secret? I scrapped the original plan for this chapter and wrote this whole thing in about two nights with no plan or any idea where I was going whatsoever
> 
> follow me on [tumblr](http://frostedpuffs.tumblr.com) for chapter previews, art and shitposts
> 
> By the way, since I'm still somewhat a new writer, if any more experienced writers have some tips or anyone notices mistakes (like grammar or characters acting off) feel free to let me know! I do have a beta, but sometimes there are things both of us miss :'D


	5. Sleep Is For the Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is on the road to emotional recovery, but getting there is just a little exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darling, lovely readers!
> 
> ...Why yes...it _has_ been almost three months since I last updated...!
> 
> Oh goodness I am so sorry. I truly hit such an awful writer's block and had been busier than I have ever been in my life between college and work. Let's just say I went three months without a single day off...and had to juggle homework, finals, and projects altogether...as well as working full time...yeah.
> 
> ...but I digress!
> 
> I managed to whip this chapter up the other night. I promise it wont take me as long to update future chapters as it did five, considering I've already got the next three started! We are on the road to Marinette's recovery ~~and Adrien's destruction.~~
> 
> Enjoy! <3
> 
> _Previous chapter: Chat Noir attempts to cheer Ladybug up while she's feeling blue, and muses over his affections for her, considering whether or not it'd be a good thing if he confessed..._

Marinette was not a morning person.

No matter how much the telltale screeching of her seven-thirty alarm made her skin crawl with annoyance, she always found it difficult to simply lift her hand and press the button that would silence its maddening call.

Some mornings she was just too tired.

It took too much energy to turn off an alarm, and it was just too _hard_ to rise out of bed, or to brush her hair and get dressed and put on makeup. No matter how she tried, it was not a rare occurrence for her to wake up with seemingly less energy than she'd possessed the night before.

Wasn't sleep supposed to make a person feel energized? Because all Marinette felt at the moment was her warm covers that begged her to stay nestled safely underneath their protection from the cold morning air, and the comfort of her wonderfully cozy pillow that made her head feel as if she was resting upon a cloud.

True, she did have school...but couldn't she just stay home and relax in bed all day?

No, she'd been doing a lot of that lately...and besides, that wasn't like her. She wasn't one to skip class. She was a good student, she swore it!

"Marinette," Tikki's voice rang down from the shelf above her bed. "If you don't get up now, you're going to be late."

Right, timeliness was a thing.

Poking her head out from underneath her duvet, Marinette blinked open her eyes and sighed, squinting at the bright rays of sunlight that streamed in through her skylight. A pigeon cooed above on her terrace and the familiar scent of bread baking in the ovens downstairs hovered in the air, adding to all the reasons why she did not want to remove herself from her loft.

It was chilly outside, and it was warm in her room. That was where she wanted to stay.

_But if you don't go to school, you won't get to see your friends,_ her mind prompted her, reminding her of the three people that made life bearable. Her thoughts were right: if she didn't get out of bed, she wouldn't see Alya or Nino, or-

-or Adrien.

Who she had no problem with seeing whatsoever because she did not love him anymore and his eyes didn't make her legs turn to jelly and his gorgeous smile _didn't_ make her feel as if she had fallen for him a thousand times over.

Yeah, she was totally over him.

For a moment Marinette allowed herself to glance at the framed photo of herself and Adrien that stood upon the shelf above her bed. It was from her fifteenth birthday—the night she'd invited him along with Alya and Nino to her house for a sleepover. The both of them stood with wide grins and wore silly little party hats, their arms around each other as they posed for Alya's camera. It was slightly blurry because Alya had been giggling, but Marinette liked it that way—it felt more "real."

Adrien was mid-laugh in the photo. His smile was as golden as sunlight, and his arm around her shoulders was a warmth Marinette would never forget. He looked so genuinely _happy_...so happy that Marinette wondered if he'd ever been given the chance to spend that much quality time with friends before.

It was a picture full of great memories. A night of fun, teaching her friends to bake cupcakes, marathoning movies until three in the morning, being with some of the people she cared about most...great memories.

Marinette's lips curled upwards into a smile, and she fondly grasped the frame within her hands.

That night meant the world to her. She was sure it meant a lot to Adrien, too. Without it, they wouldn't be as good of friends as they were now.

Marinette traced the pad of her thumb over the glass, frowning down at the picture in her lap. Adrien was so…so...

He was amazing. Wonderful; beautiful.

Adrien was everything good in the world.

(Everything but hers.)

With an ache in her heart, Marinette tore her gaze away from the picture as she laid the frame face-down on her bed.

She was completely over him. Completely, totally….

A sigh blew from her nose.

_Oh, who am I kidding._

Sitting up, Marinette rose her arms high above her head and yawned, eyes squeezing shut from the force of her stretch. She felt slightly rejuvenated and even found the willpower to kick her blanket off of her legs—her very soft, snuggly blanket—and ignored the way the cool air made her skin uncomfortably prickle.

Climbing down from her loft, she changed out of her pajamas and into a white shirt and jeans, quickly donning one of her favorite pink sweaters to help her body rid the everlasting chill.

(Perhaps she was being a tad dramatic. It didn't get _that_ cold in Paris, and it wasn't exactly freezing outside since it was only the first week of November, but...she did get chilly rather easily. She blamed it on the Ladybug side of herself.)

Hopefully later in the day the sun would warm up the city. That would be nice.

Warmth was always nice.

It didn't take long for Marinette to pull her hair up into her usual bun—a style she'd began to wear more often since her hair was getting a bit long for pigtails—and within ten minutes she'd sped through putting on makeup with shoes on her feet and a bright smile on her face.

Briefly checking the time, Marinette blew a small breath of relief. Good, she wouldn't be late today. That was something she was getting better at. The best part about being on time was that she had a few minutes to grab some breakfast, which her stomach was undoubtedly pleased about. Her parents could tell her as many times as they wanted that she was too skinny, even with her appetite, but running around the city saving lives all day was a certain type exercise she couldn't really control.

"Morning maman," Marinette said once she'd made her way downstairs. With a kiss to her mother's cheek, she was grateful to see that a small array of breakfast foods had already been prepared, and her empty stomach voiced its desire for food loudly. A hint of a blush tinted Marinette's cheeks as she placed her hands to her belly, and her mother laughed.

"Somebody's hungry," Sabine chuckled. "How are you feeling today, honey?"

Marinette slipped into a seat at the table. Spreading some jam on a croissant, she offered a shrug and bit into her breakfast with a noncommittal hum. "Better, I think. A lot better. I'm actually excited to get back to school today, since things are getting less...awkward." Her face reddened at the memory of how she'd come home from school the day of her rejection muffling her sobs, Alya rubbing her back and her parents by her side as she sat on her couch and _wept._ "Thanks for worrying about me, though."

Her mother came up from behind and kissed the side of her head, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a sort of half-hug. "It's alright, Marinette. Just know that if you're still feeling sad, your father and I are here for you, okay?"

Marinette smiled and swallowed another bite of her breakfast. "Alya, too."

"Yes," Sabine said as she set a cup of coffee in front of her daughter. "Alya too. Good things are on their way, sweetheart. Just you wait."

"I think so too, maman."

Adding sugar and cream to her coffee, Marinette's smile grew at the thought of her best friend. She really did need to thank Alya for devoting so much of her time to cheering her up; a bestfriend that amazing deserved everything good in the world, and if Marinette could, she would gift her with thousands upon thousands of good things.

But, Marinette was only a sixteen-year-old who worked part-time at her parent's bakery and didn't have millions of euros to spend, so she opted for the idea of taking Alya out for lunch instead.

Maybe they could go to an ice cream shop, or the new little café that had just opened up down the street from their lycée. It seemed nice enough, and she'd heard good things about it so far. Apparently they had some of the best sandwiches in the city, from what Nino had told her.

And admittedly, she did want to talk to her about the whole "Chat Noir visiting" situation…even if part of Marinette felt it be kept a secret. The fact that he'd been keeping an eye on her the past few nights made her feel some sort of odd way. She wondered if Chat Noir watched out for other citizens whom he feared would be akumatized. It would make sense, after all...

Stirring her coffee, Marinette lazily dangled her legs back forth above the floor, the stool just a tad too high for her height. Despite the negative thoughts that swirled in the back of her mind, she was determined to ignore the despondent weight that had long since settled in her stomach and for the first time in a week, have a great day.

_Happy thoughts, Marinette,_ she reminded herself. _You're a positive person._

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Puppies, kittens, kittens in _sweaters_ , her favorite pastries on her birthday and designing a beautiful dress. Alya.

Yeah, that was it. Spending time with Alya made her happy. And damn if she wasn't going to be happy today.

Checking the time on her phone one last time, Marinette finished off her coffee and bread and brought her dishes to the sink to wash them. "I've gotta go now," she said to her mother, drying her hands. "I'll see you after school! Love you!"

Sabine waved her goodbye with an "I love you too, have a good day!", and Marinette was out the door with her backpack slung over her shoulders and Tikki tucked safely away in her purse. On her way out she gave her father a quick kiss to the cheek, and as she stepped outside onto the sidewalk, a crisp breeze blew through the air.

It was only a fifteen minute walk to school. There were times where Marinette would take the metro with Alya just for the ride, but today she didn't want to be anywhere close to being late. She had an on-time streak at the moment and she wasn't ready to break it.

Heading down the sidewalk humming one of Jagged Stone's latest songs, Marinette walked with a skip in her step and a grin on her face, finally feeling genuinely _happy_ for the first time in days. It was Friday, the end of the school week, and she was entirely prepared to spend the weekend out and about since she'd been cooped up indoors as of late due to her emotional state.

Maybe she'd hang out with Chat Noir a bit if she could. They really didn't get to see each other for more than a few weekly patrols or the occasional akuma attack, and considering there hadn't been one in nearly a week (a new record), Marinette was admittedly beginning to miss his dorky smile a little bit.

(Even if it still felt a little odd that he had shown up uninvited to her terrace a few nights prior.)

Part of her pondered that, if she hadn't fallen for Adrien so fast, _purr_ haps (heh, Chat would've been proud of her for that pun) she would have feelings for...someone else.

But that was a thought for another day.

The sun was shining, the air was cool and the last of the season's leaves crunched under her boots as puffy clouds floated lazily through the blue, blue sky. A few cars whizzed down the street next to her, and as Marinette walked past one of her favorite restaurants, the tempting aroma of coffee mingled with the scent of some type of hot food cooking—both of which smelled positively delicious. If she hadn't just eaten, it would have made her stomach growl.

Ahead of her, a man in a yellow coat walked his dog, and as Marinette paused at a crosswalk to allow traffic to pass a small child grinned up at her, hand gripping his mother's and green eyes sparkling with golden flecks in the sun. Marinette giggled and returned the smile, feeling a warmth in her chest.

For a brief moment she wondered what it'd be like to have kids someday. The more she thought about having her own child to look after, those green eyes reminded her that the one person she had imagined herself marrying unfortunately did not return her feelings. Which was fine. That wasn't Adrien's fault.

She was over him, anyways. Totally, _completely-_

"Hey, look who's on time this morning!"

Marinette let out a surprised squawk as Alya's hip bumped into her own, and the girl chuckled at her reaction. "Sorry, 'Nette. Didn't mean to scare you."

"You know how easily I'm spooked," Marinette sighed, placing a hand over her chest to steady her rapidly beating heart. The stoplight changed to red, cars slowing to a stop as she and Alya made their way across the street. "Actually, I'm surprised I managed to get out of bed on time. You have _no_ idea how comfortable I was this morning, Alya. I was three seconds away from convincing myself it was okay to stay home in bed all day. And I would have." She looked away for a moment. "If, you know, I hadn't been doing a lot of that as of late..."

Alya hummed, kicking a stray pebble down the sidewalk. "Well, I'm glad you got up. It's nice out today, and you need some fresh air. And probably a few smiles, too."

Marinette put on her widest grin. "I've got plenty of those today, don't you worry."

"It's also nice to not see you rushing into class last minute because of 'air pollution' or something," Alya added with a laugh. "Or—what was it last time—that a cat got stuck in air vent and you just _had_ to save it?"

A giggle rose from Marinette's lips as she blushed slightly with embarrassment. If only she could _tell_ Alya her reason for being late all the time, she wouldn't have to come up with such silly excuses. But a cat stuck in an air vent wasn't entirely as unbelievable as saying, "hey, I'm Ladybug", and besides...it wasn't like she could let anyone in on her secret.

Not even Chat Noir, her partner and most trusted friend.

Some nights Marinette considered convincing Tikki that revealing their identities to each other would help them more than cause them harm, but the kwami always insisted that the identities were what kept them _safe_. Safe from what, she never specified—Marinette just always assumed it was in case one of them accidentally made a slip-up, or if an akumatized villain came after them in civilian form.

Once or twice, she'd even thought about telling Chat Noir her name. But, Tikki _was_ a five-thousand-year-old, all-knowing little god so...Marinette knew it was best to not question her and to listen to what she said.

(And even though she hid it well, Marinette was admittedly as curious about her colleague's identity as he was of her own.)

But she knew better. She followed the rules. No identity sharing.

Chat knew that too.

"Hey, there's Nino."

Alya's voice broke Marinette out of her stupor, causing her to look up from the sidewalk. Sometime while she'd been musing over identities, she and Alya had arrived at lycée, and Marinette had miraculously made it up the front steps without tripping. Her eyes landed on the boy sitting on a bench across the courtyard, headphones in his ears and phone in hand, his foot tapping to a beat neither she or Alya could hear.

The thing that struck Marinette as odd was that Adrien was absent. And it wasn't her heart talking—rarely were there mornings Adrien wasn't the earliest of all of them, and he and Nino were practically inseparable from the moment they arrived at school.

Seeing Nino alone admittedly caused a small, sharp gust of worry to rise up into Marinette's chest, but she repressed it. Adrien was most likely just running a few minutes late.

"Wonder why he's alone," Marinette breathed, and frowned as Alya hummed in agreement.

"Maybe Adrien's sick?" Alya offered.

"No, no," Marinette replied. "He would have texted one of us if he was."

"Then maybe he's late. Probably had to stop and get cheese somewhere or something, knowing him."

At Alya's comment, Marinette couldn't hold back her snort. "You leave Adrien and his love for cheese alone!"

"You know, it's weird," Alya said, beginning to walk towards Nino. "We see him buy that fancy cheese all the time, but do we ever see him _eat_ it? No! What does he even do with it?"

Marinette laughed a little harder. "Maybe it's not for him. Maybe it's for his dad, you never know."

"Maybe. But you know, I think-"

As soon as Nino noticed the pair of girls walking over, he took off his headphones, waved and practically _beamed_ , looking like a ray of sunlight that had touched down on Earth.

Marinette watched as Alya froze, and the tiniest, faintest hint of red touched her cheeks—which only caused Marinette's smile to grow into a full-blown _smirk_.

Oh, that poor girl was so far gone and she didn't even _know._

"Hey," Marinette whispered, gently nudging her best friend with her elbow. "I had my moment of bravery, now it's time for you to have yours."

Turning her head so fast that Marinette swore she'd give herself whiplash, Alya's eyes widened comically, and a glare wrinkled her nose. "What the heck are you talking about? He's just a friend!"

"I didn't say he wasn't!" Marinette held up her hands defensively and let a laugh slip past her lips. "Look, all I'm saying is that if you like him, you should tell him. Speaking from personal experience, it feels great to not be holding that secret anymore. And besides…" She lowered her hands. "I doubt you'll have the same outcome as I did."

Alya stuck out her tongue in a childish manner and crossed her arms. "For the last time, Marinette, I do _not_ have a crush on him. He's just a guy that I think is cool and like hanging out with, that's _all._ "

Marinette shook her head. "Okay, you're in denial, that's fine. But just for the record, the way I catch you looking at him sometimes as if he's your whole _world_ isn't exactly an expression reserved for 'just friends'..."

"Sure," Alya muttered, an unmistakable blush on her cheeks. "But I still don't have a crush on him."

Chuckling, Marinette began walking with her friend towards the guy she _didn't_ have a crush on before remembering she had a question to ask. "Oh, by the way, do you want to get lunch with me today? There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?" Alya pointedly kept her gaze away from Nino as they walked. "Does 'something' involve a boy with blond hair and green eyes?"

An uncomfortable feeling Marinette couldn't exactly describe settled within her gut. "...Sort of," she said. "Well, probably not the guy you're thinking about, but-"

"Oh, he's looking at me," Alya whispered under her breath, and it took Marinette a moment to realize what she'd meant. But then it dawned on her, and she noticed Nino's eyes were firmly (if a bit nervously) watching her Ladyblogger friend.

Giggling, Marinette went up to the boy in question and took a seat to the left of him. She seriously doubted that if Alya ever did admit to herself that she held romantic feelings for Nino and confessed, she would be faced with rejection. Marinette knew when two people were pining for each other, and the way they looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking was almost too cute to bear.

Yeah, they'd definitely be dating soon.

(Part of Marinette had to shove the thorn of jealousy back under the rock from whence it came, and for just a moment a touch of sadness tugged her lips downwards. She fought it, though. She always would.)

"How was you girls' morning?" Nino asked, successfully bringing Marinette out of her saddening thoughts before they could cause her any further sorrow.

Swallowing, she forced a smile to her face. "It was good! I actually woke up right at my alarm and had time for breakfast, for once. It's nice not going to school hungry." She glanced around for a moment or two, watching, waiting to see a perfectly styled head of blond hair wander over, but...nobody came.

No Adrien.

Marinette didn't bother to suppress the disappointed sigh that blew from her nose.

"You okay, Mar?" Nino asked, concern filling his gaze.

Marinette nodded. "Yeah, yeah! Fine! Just...wondering where Adrien is…"

"Not sure," Nino said. "He hasn't texted me."

To his right, Alya chuckled. "Maybe he slept through his alarm, much like a certain girl I know…"

"Hey, come on," Marinette laughed. "I actually woke up on time today-"

A brief golden flash nearly blinded the trio for a moment, and not even a moment later a boy walking to class in front of them collapsed to the ground in a limp, snoring heap. His cheek pressed against the sidewalk, and his body curled up in a ball like a sleeping toddler. For the most part, he seemed unharmed...but it was still quite an odd sight to see someone fall over like that.

The three of them shared a look that was as equally started as it was perplexed.

What in the _world_ —?

"Yikes." Nino rose to his feet quicker than a bolt of lightning and made his way over to the poor student, settling himself on his knees as he gave the boy a gentle nudge. "Dude, you okay? ...You awake?"

He waved his hand in front of the teen's face, and in response, a snore rose from his lips.

Sleeping. The kid was _sleeping;_ completely out cold!

"Is he okay?" Marinette asked, standing herself. "Did anyone else see that weird light-"

The world flashed gold again, and as soon as the light faded from the sky Nino slumped over onto his stomach, his mouth stretching into a wide yawn before he quickly drifted off into a deep, deep slumber.

Alya was quick to his aid, surprise and concern etched together on her features. "Nino," she said, giving him a light shake. "Hey, come on. Wake up! This is no place to take a nap!"

Rushing to Nino's side, Marinette frowned, sitting on her knees as she placed two fingers to his wrist and felt for his pulse. His heart was beating just fine, and he was definitely breathing, which meant he was obviously alive. Not that she expected any different.

"He's fine," she told Alya, "just sleeping."

"But _why?_ " Alya raised an eyebrow. "Why in the world would he be-"

A cloud of gold dust surrounded the trio, and before Marinette could process what was going on, a cough rose from her throat and her eyelids watered, feeling very, _very_ heavy.

"Alya?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. "Did you feel that? ...Alya?"

No response.

As the glitter cloud cleared, Marinette saw that her best friend had fallen asleep over Nino, splayed out with her stomach over his legs. It was kind of adorable, just _slightly_ —if it wasn't for the fact that two of her closest buddies had just passed out on the concrete floor.

"Must be an akuma," Tikki chirped, just barely peeking out of her purse. "We need to find somewhere quiet to transform, quick!"

Initially Marinette knew she needed to get up and flee, but something inside of her edged her to stay and assist her friends—insisted that the transforming wait while she dragged them off to a safe place. But Tikki popped out of the protection of Marinette's bag and gave her charge a determined little grin, reminding her that she'd be more help to the both of them donned in polka-dots rather than a sweater and jeans.

"Right," Marinette said with a nod. It was exhausting just to stand, but she fought the impending sluggishness with a low grunt. "Yeah, transform...Right."

Her tongue felt floppy in her mouth, and her eyelids felt as if heavy stones were attached by strings, pulling them down farther, farther, farther…

"Marinette!" Squeaked Tikki. "Don't fall asleep on me now. We've got an akuma to catch!"

"I'm going, I'm going!" Marinette groaned, a sudden crankiness rising up her spine. Why on Earth did she feel so _exhausted?_ She'd slept a full eight hours the night before!

Must have had something to do with that dust...annoying akuma...

Marinette shook her head. Whatever it was, she needed to tough through it for however long it took to defeat an akuma and get through her classes. Then she could go home and rest.

All around her fellow students began to fumble and fall, collapsing to the floor like dead-weights. None were harmed, but all were sentenced to a nap in the time-out...courtyard?

Wherever Adrien was, he'd better stay there. No use waking up and coming to school just to go back to bed the minute he got there.

(Goodness, she really did think about him a lot.)

Through bleary vision, Marinette spotted an empty spot behind a pillar and darted, ignoring the exhausting numbness that made her legs felt as if they weren't her own. With a yelp akin to an injured dog she tripped over a dozing classmate, biting back a hiss as her body painfully collided with the concrete.

Oof. _That_ didn't feel good.

Groaning, she lifted her palm to her forehead and gave it a rub, screwing her eyes shut at the headache that pierced through her skull. She wasn't injured, but damn did she feel _tired._

If she could just lay her head on the cool floor...that would be nice…

No, she had a job to do!

The sound of snoring rose in the air, and Marinette sighed as she groggily brought herself to her feet. The undersides of her hands were scraped, but it was nothing she couldn't handle; she was a super-heroine after all, and a few little cuts couldn't ruin her day.

Just as she stood and was rubbing a sore spot on her hip, another gust of golden sand blew through the air, tumbling across the courtyard and buffeting Marinette's hair. It swept through the area like a gentle sandstorm, coating every object, every person in a dusting of glitter before it faded in the blink of an eye.

The whole thing felt surreal; like a dream.

Another wave of weariness coursed through Marinette's bones. She had to place her hands on her knees to steady herself.

"Ugh," she muttered. "I am _just_ trying to transform."

Sluggishly she made another attempt at escape. Her hand made it to the pillar, and her heart did a little skip in her chest from gratitude. But as far as the day had proved to be lacking in luck, it didn't appear as if it would get any better...especially since a low laugh rose up from the archway behind her, and the feeling of drowsiness grew so _strong_ that Marinette had to brace herself against the stone.

With narrowed eyes she glared over her shoulder at the villain who entered the courtyard behind her. A sizable guy with red cheeks, pale skin, a white robe and sleeping cap sat atop a lustering cloud, his perch sparkling like the sun. As he floated around the array of sleeping students, little flecks of gold fell from the cloud like rain and fluttered down to those who were already deep within dreamland.

The dude looked as if he was some sandman-esque guy, wanting to make the entirety of Paris...fall asleep, or something. That was Marinette's best guess anyways.

Man, these akuma villains were just getting lamer and lamer. Papillon really needed to step up his game.

Seriously, where was this guy a few nights ago? Marinette would have really appreciated an easy way to fall asleep while her aching heart kept her awake.

"Well, well, well," the man's voice boomed, which didn't make his sleeping victims stir for some odd reason. "Look's like my sleeping spell worked for every person but one! Won't you let Dreamscape give you some well-needed rest, my dear? After all, Paris is too lively of a city...it's so hard to sleep at night, especially because of annoying neighbors. Don't you agree that we all need a little more rest?"

Marinette slunk behind the pillar. If she got hit with that sleeping dust one more time, she'd be done for. It was a miracle that she was even awake at the moment considering her friends had drifted off from just one spell. Perhaps her ability to remain awake had something to do with Tikki's magic?

"I know you're there," Dreamscape said, and Marinette could practically feel him inching closer. "Come on out, and take a nap!"

Glancing down at her bag, Marinette frowned at Tikki, who nodded in affirmation. She knew what she had to do—it was only the matter of staying awake that concerned her.

With a final jolt of energy, Marinette stepped in front of the pillar, doing her best to put on a frightened expression. She hoped it was convincing enough. "Oh no," she sighed. "You caught me."

Dreamscape grinned, and as he raised his arms the palms of his hands glowed with golden light. "That's right. Now, lights out!"

Shutting her eyes to avoid the impending sand, Marinette held her breath, waiting for the sleeping spell to fade. A moment passed, then two, then three, and...she fell.

But it was on her own terms.

Slumping over as if she'd fallen asleep, Marinette lay on the concrete floor, momentarily cursing herself for lying on the same side she'd rammed into the ground earlier. There'd definitely be some bruises she'd be attending to later, but for now, she wasn't concerned. She lay with her eyes shut, listening in wait for Dreamscape to make his leave—which he did with a triumphant laugh that faded the farther away he became.

For good measure she lied still for a second longer, but the sleep that curled in her mind was beginning to drag her into darkness, making her feel numb and floppy. Marinette didn't know how she'd managed to stay awake so long...and feared that if she didn't move now, she'd be down for the count.

Pushing the last of her energy through her veins, she lifted herself to the ground and stretched her arms high into the air. A yawn escaped her just as she rubbed her eyes, and her muscles whined in protest at the movement.

Yeah, getting up in the mornings was hard. But _nothing_ could compare to how dead-tired Marinette felt at the moment—not even rising out of bed after less than an hour of rest.

Leaning back against the pillar, Marinette rubbed her temples, shaking her head in an attempt to rid the grogginess from her mind. She needed to focus. She needed to think. She needed to transform and find Chat Noir and capture the akuma.

"That was a good idea," Tikki said, perching atop Marinette's shoulder. "Now, come on! It's Ladybug time!"

Marinette nodded and touched a hand to her earrings. "Right! Tikki, transform-"

A hand on her shoulder startled her to no end, and on instinct she grabbed the perpetrator's arm and twisted, sending them to the floor.

"Ah, mercy! Mercy!" Chat Noir whined as he dropped to his knees. "How are you so strong!?"

Guilt immediately crashed over her. Surveying her partner, Marinette frowned and grabbed his hand, helping to pull him to his feet.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I thought it was Dreamscape. Don't sneak up on me like that! Gosh, you can be so creepy sometimes!"

"Creepy?" Chat asked, brow raising under his mask. "Jeez, do I really come off that way?"

"Well." Marinette glanced away. "You _were_ watching me the other night, and now you sneak up on me-"

"Oh my god, I _am_ creepy." Cupping a hand over his mouth, Chat's eyes widened. "Okay, one, I am so sorry about that. It won't happen again and I swear of it. Two, what are you doing out here alone?"

Marinette's eyes widened as she fumbled for an excuse. "I was...um...looking for my phone!" She pulled her cellphone out of her pocket for proof and held it up with a comically wide smile. "I had dropped it on the way to class, so...I had to find it...but then Dreamscape came and wow, everybody fell asleep! So crazy. Everyone is sleeping."

"You got hit with the sand stuff though, didn't you?"

"I did," Marinette affirmed.

"And you're not tired?"

"I am."

Chat Noir gave a puzzled frown before he shook his head and replaced it with his familiar, cocky grin. "Right. Listen, it's not safe here. Go on home, alright? Ladybug and I will take care of this. Everything should be back to normal faster than you can say, 'wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.'"

Marinette offered a tired smirk. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey."

Chat Noir removed his baton from his back and laughed, extending it as he prepared to leap. "Well, we can't always be on time, can we?"

"I guess not."

They shared a brief chuckle before Chat motioned behind him with his head. "Welp, gotta go—my Lady awaits!"

With a bound and a twist of his baton he was gone, chasing after the trail of sunny dust that led out of the school and down the street.

Marinette found herself smiling at his leave, once again positioning herself behind the stone pillar for better cover. "Let's go after him, Tikki. _Transforme-moi!_ "


	6. Catnap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Battling a sleep-inducing akuma is no easy feat
> 
> ...Also, Adrien should really pay attention to where he falls asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So another month has passed without an update.  
>  I'm sorry! I barely get days off! :'D
> 
> But anyways, here's another update! Sorry if this chapter makes you sleepy ~~I'm not sorry~~
> 
> Good news: chapter 7 has already over 1k words into it so...I'll try not to make you guys wait too long.
> 
> Also, thanks for 14k+ followers on Tumblr! It means a lot! And another big thanks to [seasonsofthegeek](http://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonofthegeek/pseuds/seasonofthegeek) (whose fics I highly recommend) and @luv3horse on Tumblr for betaing.

 

"What do you think would happen if I told Ladybug my real feelings?"

Plagg slowly rolled open an eye and gazed at his Chosen, ear twitching in mild disinterest. He had been busy taking a nap on the windowsill and soaking in the morning sunrays that streamed through the glass, and Adrien noted the brief glint of annoyance that flashed through his eyes. He knew his kwami didn't like being woken during a catnap, especially when said nap was in a warm patch of sunshine...but the question had been eating at him for days now, and he wanted some advice.

Plagg stretched, his mouth opening in a wide, drawn-out yawn. "What do _you_ think would happen?"

Adrien shrugged. "I don't know. Part of me hopes that she'd sweep me off my feet and profess her undying love for me, then we'd run off and elope and live a fulfilling life together."

"Allow me to be blunt," Plagg said, floating over from his perch on the windowsill and settling himself on Adrien's shoulder. "You and I both know that isn't going to happen. What you want and what she'll do are two entirely different things."

"I know that." Adrien sat on the edge of his bed and slipped his shoes on. Distracted, he struggled with the laces for a moment before he threw himself back onto his mattress and sighed."But the other part of me is scared that she'll flat-out reject me. Or laugh at me or call me dumb or something."

"Do you really think she would react so coldly?"

Adrien shook his head. "No. No, I don't. But I'm still scared."

"Well, don't be," Plagg yawned. Licking a tiny paw, he began to clean his whiskers. "I don't know Ladybug like you do, but from past experiences...just do what you think is right. Whatever happens, happens. That's how I look at life, anyways."

Adrien's expression flattened. "Dive in without thinking of consequences?"

Plagg snorted in response. "Well, that's one way to put it. But what I mean is don't worry too much over it. Just let things take their own course and if something bad happens, you two will get through it." Stretching, Plagg floated back over to his resting spot upon the windowsill and curled up into a little black ball, sliding his eyes closed to signal that the conversation was over. "You two weren't chosen to be a team for nothing. Now let me sleep."

Maybe Plagg was right. Maybe he should just go with his gut.

But what if his gut was _wrong?_

Frowning, Adrien shook his head and sat up, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Decision making wasn't really his thing. He usually had Nathalie to make most decisions for him.

He allowed himself a moment's pause as he considered the pros and cons of confessing to Ladybug. On one hand, he'd feel much better knowing that he didn't have to carry the burden of a secret anymore. On the other, if she rejected him…

He didn't want to think about it.

(Correction: he didn't want to think about how much of a mess it would make him.)

"Being in love kind of sucks," Adrien mused as he pulled on a light jacket and peeked out his window at the trees to see how strong the wind was. "Don't you think so, Plagg?"

Plagg grumbled, unmoving. "Heck if I know. Love is a gross human thing."

Adrien chuckled, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Don't you love cheese, though?"

"Cheese is something you don't entirely understand."

"Right," Adrien laughed. "Cheese is an enigma. Let's go, cheese cat."

Plagg sat up and regarded him with an expression so sour it almost made Adrien take a step backwards. "I am a god that has lived for over five thousand years. That's Monsieur Cheese Cat to you."

Giving a playful roll of his eyes, Adrien patted his backpack and opened the flap for Plagg to fly inside. He didn't want to be late for class, after all, and he still had to make a pitstop by the kitchen to swipe some Camembert for his hungry companion.

The morning was starting off pretty well. The outside air was cool and the leaves on the trees were at their peak, decorating the streets of Paris with an array of orange and red. As he bid a goodbye to his empty house and stepped out into the sunshine, Adrien took a deep breath and sighed, relishing in how nice the breeze felt against his skin.

It was a cool autumn morning. The weather was changing. Soon, it'd be cold—winter—the only time of year Adrien didn't mind being cooped up inside all that much. While he definitely wasn't fond of being trapped in his room, he was much less partial to the drop in temperature that came with the season.

Not even Ladybug enjoyed winter. She seemed slower, less focused. Usually on especially cold days—well, as cold as it gets in Paris—patrol would be cancelled lest they freeze to death, meaning it would be another day gone by without Adrien seeing his Lady.

 _His_ Lady...

(As if.)

Blinking at a gust of wind that blew against his eyelashes, Adrien adjusted his scarf and walked down the steps to the silver sedan awaiting him. He grabbed the handle and opened the door, stepping one foot inside and-

"Akuma," Plagg hissed from his backpack. His nose stuck out of the flap of Adrien's backpack, sniffing the air with a twitch of his whiskers. "Coming this way."

-and was promptly showered in a cloud of golden dust.

An aching exhaustion began to seep into Adrien's bones. Bracing himself against the side of the car, he shook his head, trying to clear the sleep that clung to his eyelids. One glance to his bodyguard slumped over in the driver's seat confirmed that it wasn't only Adrien who was feeling a tad weary.

(The fact that Gorilla's head was resting against the horn would have been funny if Adrien wasn't so tired.)

"Yep, definitely an Akuma," he grunted. Shutting the car door, he ducked down behind the vehicle and gave Plagg a determined grin as the black kwami zipped out from his backpack, tail curling in anticipation. "Plagg, _transforme-moi!_ "

* * *

 Chat Noir dropped down onto the asphalt with a roll, his heart pounding in his ears as he righted his position and stood up straight, baton in hand.

Today's akuma was a tricky one. While Adrien didn't mind waking up early for school, he didn't exactly enjoy the prospect of having his morning interrupted. He'd even taken the time to style his hair, damn it...and it would probably look like a complete mess by the time he made it to school.

Vaulting himself to the top of a building, Adrien paused. He could see Dreamscape floating down the road on his puffy mode of transport, no doubt in search for innocent people to bore with a drawling monologue until they were begging for an early rest. Most citizens were smart and ducked into hiding spots, like alleyways or bathrooms in small shops, but others went about their business without even batting an eye. Adrien supposed it was because the people of Paris were nearly desensitized to Papillon's villains by now. After all, the guy had been attacking the city for two years—battles were beginning to become old news. Every now and then even Adrien found the fights to be a tad boring.

Except for Ladybug, of course. He could never get bored of fighting by Ladybug's side.

He huffed as Dreamscape went to corner an innocent shopkeeper against the front of a deli and slid down the side of the building to the ground, the heels of his boots clicking against the sidewalk. The villain was droning along about his inconsiderate neighbors and how he wanted to make the entirety of the world sleep forever, blah, blah, blah...

Adrien could sympathize slightly. He knew how annoying it could be to have his sleep consistently interrupted. But instead of crappy neighbors, it was more like a kwami who could snore as loudly as a full grown man.

Still, Adrien did find the akuma's motivations interesting now and then. Some even had hilarious intentions, like the time someone had become akumatized because they'd stepped in chewing gum and wanted to cover the entire city in it.

It was all so silly.

Extending his baton, Adrien gave Dreamscape's back a few taps to get his attention before resting his hands upon his hips. "Wow," he began. "I guess somebody's upset they didn't get their catnap today, huh?"

"Chat Noir!" The villain bellowed. As he leaned in, Adrien took note of the purple bags underneath his eyes and the stink of his morning breath. His dated sleeping cap swung in his face. "Give me your Miraculous or the whole city of Paris never wakes again!"

"I have a better plan." Adrien clasped his clawed hands together with a grin. "How about you tell me where your little butterfly is located, and I take the item to Ladybug so she can purify it and you can go back to bed, okay?"

Dreamscape's face immediately contorted into an expression of rage, and his eyes glowed red. "No! They must _learn_! I won't be bothered during my sleep any longer!"

"Right, well." Adrien's brow quirked as he crossed his arms. "I guess not everyone can be civil."

He shielded his eyes with his arm as a cloud of gold dusted his suit. Holding his breath, he resisted the urge to cough as the sickeningly sweet scent of honeyed sand caused his eyelids to feel droopy.

Twice. That was twice now he'd been hit with the sleep dust.

Fighting a yawn that begged to rise from his throat, Adrien stood his ground on unsteady legs, splitting his baton to spin it in both hands. He would not fall asleep on the job—he would wait until Ladybug arrived and this guy was dealt with. Then he could go to school, see his friends, and go home where his bed awaited.

Speaking of Ladybug, where was she?

He hoped she wasn't too far behind, or worse—that she'd fallen asleep somewhere. But the sound of wire zipping across the sky made Adrien's heart jump in his chest, and he beamed as he caught sight of his Lady, her scarlet form glinting in the sunshine.

(His Lady, his Lady, she was _not his Lady-_ )

She paused atop the awning of an ice cream shop and frowned at the scene of sleeping people, eyes searching for her partner.

"Down here, LB!" he called, giving her a wave.

Ladybug responded with a grin and landed next to him. Her legs wobbled as she hit the ground, and her hand fell to his arm for support. On instinct Adrien grabbed hold of her shoulders, steadying her, studying her features.

Wow.

He'd never in his life seen Ladybug look so...so _tired._

"Got caught in a gold shower, 'Bug?" Adrien chuckled. His lips quirked upwards into a smirk as she shot him with a glare.

"Three times," she sighed, bracing her hands on her knees. "I'm so tired, kitty."

"You and me both." A yawn rose from Adrien's mouth. "Twice for me, now. My bed sounds _wonderfur_ at the moment."

Ladybug rolled her eyes at his pun. "Then let's get this over with."

When Ladybug had arrived Dreamscape began hovering down the street, flicking the glittery substance at any civilian he passed. Now, Adrien watched as one by one bystanders toppled over onto the sidewalk, causing others to flee in all sorts of directions. At least most of them had the right sense to hide.

"Ready, my Lady?" Adrien asked, leaning on his baton and twirling his tail. He had to keep himself moving—he was afraid if he stopped, he'd fall right over into a heap of sleeping Chat.

Adrien silently thanked Plagg for whatever magic was keeping him on his feet. He had a bad feeling that if he wasn't transformed, he'd be curled up in the middle of the street taking a well-deserved nap.

Ladybug nodded, casting out her yo-yo and hooking it on a lamppost. "Ready, Chat."

"Let's get 'em."

They chased after Dreamscape on sleepy legs, Ladybug on the right side of the street and Chat Noir on the left. It didn't take long to catch up with the akuma; he was moving a slow speed. While Adrien stayed close, Ladybug hung a bit behind, seemingly having a tad more trouble bearing with the fatigue than Adrien was.

But she didn't let it get to her, not one bit. He admired her dedication.

"Chat Noir," Ladybug said as she landed by his side, running in step with him. "Can you use Cataclysm on his cloud and bring him to the ground? I'll use my yo-yo to tie him up and immobilize him."

Adrien nodded. "Perfect plan as always, my Lady," he purred. "There isn't a day that goes by where you don't _ameowze_ me."

Ladybug clicked her tongue and zipped back to the other side of the street.

(Adrien could have sworn that, just for a moment, he'd caught a hint of a grin on her face.)

As they flanked Dreamscape's sides, the duo kept their speed, waiting for him to pause to put another civilian under his sleeping spell. Adrien's brow furrowed as the villain picked up his pace. Hunkering down to all fours, he ran like his namesake, bolting after the speeding akuma victim. He and Ladybug followed him as he turned a sharp corner, Adrien hissing as he slid into a parked car and scraped his shoulder.

Yep. He'd be feeling that later.

Dreamscape was getting faster. He was trailing down the street like a madman, flinging sleeping sand in all directions and cackling as he flew quicker, quicker, _quicker-_

-and then he stopped, hand raised to deploy his dust to a large group of citizens that huddled around a TV shop, most likely watching the attack on the news.

The world seemed as if it was moving in slow motion.

"Now!" Ladybug shouted, Adrien responding automatically with a leap. He pushed himself up into the air with his back legs, using his baton to gain altitude and sinking his claws into the soft, plush material of the villain's cloud. But as he hauled himself up on top of it, Dreamscape was waiting, ready with outstretched palms.

"Lights out, kitty!"

Golden sand assaulted his eyes, and Adrien growled, scrubbing at his mask. His vision was bleary and he was almost certain that he'd been hit with more than one dose that time, yet wasted not a moment more, shouting, "Cataclysm!" at the top of lungs before plunging his hand deep into the swollen cloud.

It cracked, shuddered, and then disappeared into black mist.

The sound of Ladybug's yo-yo barely registered in Adrien's mind as he hit the ground and rolled, letting out a puff of dust once his body came to a stop. It didn't hurt, of course—his suit protected him from that—but the fog of sleep that clouded his mind left him feeling groggy and _heavy._

He heard Ladybug crack somethingopen, shout her cure, and his droopy eyes were drawn to the sky as a swarm of ladybugs purified the city in a gleam of pink light.

He watched as Ladybug assisted the victim up. It was a round older man, clad in plaid pajamas and looking miserably embarrassed.

Adrien shook his head and pushed himself up from the ground. His muscles felt worn, and his head spun.

How in the hell was he supposed to go to school like _this?_

"Chat?"

Was someone calling him?

"Chat Noir?"

_Ladybug._

"This cat's fine, my Lady," he slurred, leaning against a lamppost to keep himself upright. "All fine. Good. Fine. I am...I am one-hundred percent perfect."

Ladybug frowned, blinking sleepy eyes up at him. "You're about to destransform."

"Am I?" Adrien spared a glance at his ring. Three pawprints flashed back at him with a beep. "Oh, would you look at that."

"I'll see you later, Chat, okay?" Ladybug laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave him a small, tired smile. "You gonna be okay?"

"Fine!" he said a little too loudly. "So fine! I am definitely not about to fall asleep!"

With a playful roll of her eyes, Ladybug patted his back and whizzed off.

Adrien breathed a sigh of relief once she was out of sight and slid down the lamppost, his rear plopping to the floor. Why hadn't Ladybug's cure gotten rid of his exhaustion? Didn't that usually fix akuma-related inconveniences? Or was it that he'd been hit with the sleep dust too many times for it to go away? Could it be that deeply rooted?

Something in the back of his mind, most likely Plagg, urged him to get off the street and find somewhere safe to destransform. He idly wondered where Ladybug was off to and if she was about to lose her transformation...but then again, she hadn't used her lucky charm, so…

 _Go,_ the voice in his head screeched, _get off the street, you idiot!_

"I'm _going_." Adrien bit back a cranky snarl at his kwami's insistence. He knew Plagg was right; he couldn't just sit in the middle of the sidewalk and let his transformation drop. Dragging himself up the lamppost, Adrien groaned, squishing his cheek against the side of the cool metal.

(Metal that was probably unsanitary _._ )

With a last bout of energy he vaulted himself over several streets and rooftops before landing in a cramped alleyway. Above him was a clothesline stretching from a window with a few garments drying, and a dumpster sat to his left, but nobody seemed to be meandering about. Adrien took that as permission to allow his transformation to fall.

What he didn't expect, however, was the wave of exhaustion to hit him ten times as strong once Plagg had fled from his ring.

"Woah," he groaned, pressing his hands against the brick wall before toppling onto the ground. "Woah, woah…"

Woah was right.

Concrete flooring had no business being that comfortable.

The leftover dust seemed to have affected Plagg as well, because the kwami was curled up in the pocket of his Chosen's jacket, back rising and falling with each breath he took. His eyes were closed and a small snore rose from his nose, whiskers twitching in his sleep.

Plagg had the right idea. A nap sounded _wonderful._

* * *

 "Just gotta get home," Marinette told herself as she zipped across the city. Her arms felt like limp noodles and her head felt heavy. "Get home, get home, get home…"

She was a block from her house when a blur of blonde caught her attention as she leaped over an alleyway, and she had to backtrack to make sure she hadn't been seeing things, or...

...or dreaming.

Marinette's eyes widened comically.

There was no way in hell she was awake right now if she was seeing _Adrien Agreste_ curled up in an alleyway about ten steps from their old collége.

To check her sanity, she pinched herself.

Ow, okay, nope, definitely awake. That meant there was no doubt that a sleeping Adrien was curled up fifteen feet below her. A sleeping Adrien who was definitely not safe taking a nap on the floor.

He must have been hit with the sleeping dust, but...why hadn't Tikki's magic rid the exhaustion? It had for other civilians. Why not Adrien?

Was it because she hadn't used a Lucky Charm to cleanse the city?

"Adrien?" she called, lowering herself to the ground with her yo-yo. "A-Adrien? Oh gosh, Adrien, are you okay?"

He didn't stir. Panic began to flare up within Marinette's chest.

What if he was hurt? What if he was injured or bleeding internally or _shit,_ what if he was _dead_! _?_ She couldn't deal with that!

"Adrien!" Marinette practically squawked as she gave his shoulder a gentle nudge with her hand. "Hey, answer me!"

The boy in question grunted, and Marinette breathed a heavy sigh of relief, her heart thrumming in her chest. She had to resist the urge to coo over how cute he looked when he nuzzled his face against his arm, or how his wonderfully long eyelashes brushed his cheeks. He looked so peaceful like that...so adorable...did she really have the heart to wake him?

 _What are you saying, Marinette?!_ her mind retorted. _He's passed out in an alley! Take him somewhere safe!_

Somewhere safe. Yes. She needed to bring Adrien somewhere safe.

The bakery was just across the street. She could slip him in through her trapdoor and let him rest in her bed.

In...her bed.

 _In her bed, in her bed, IN_ HER _BED-_

No. Nope. That wasn't happening.

Besides, Adrien would probably be really weirded out to wake up in her house. He might think she was creepy, and the excuse that Ladybug had brought him to her wouldn't be very convincing considering that Ladybug had been to Adrien's house before.

Marinette sighed. She combed her fingers through her friend's bangs, brushing his hair out of his eyes and smiling down at his sleeping form. Nobody had any business being that cute. Not even a model.

(And to her, he was the most beautiful model out of them all.)

Adrien's lips parted slightly and a soft breath blew from his mouth, drawing a smile to Marinette's own.

"Let's get you home," she whispered, lifting him into her arms. It would be tricky to carry him in one arm and use her yo-yo with the other, but she'd manage. She _was_ Ladybug, after all.

Marinette ignored the shouts of her name as she zipped across the rooftops, as well as the sounds of phone cameras snapping pictures and the surprised gasps of civilians. She didn't have time for an interview, especially when she had precious cargo in her grasp. Adrien's need to get home and rest in a safe room was more important than any reporter's invasive questions.

She did, however, feel momentarily guilty that Adrien would probably end up on the Ladyblog later that evening.

As she arrived at the Agreste household and attached her yo-yo to the roof, Marinette silently thanked the universe that one of Adrien's windows had been left ajar. Using her foot, she pushed the window open and swung inside, making sure to hold on to the boy in her arms as she landed on his bedroom floor.

"Okay," she said to nobody in particular. "Okay, we're here. Bed time."

It felt odd to be in Adrien's room as Ladybug. She'd been over plenty of times as Marinette, but every one of those visits had also included Alya and Nino. Being in his room with him alone caused a slightly uncomfortable (yet exciting) feeling to rise within her stomach, and she had to mentally contain herself from squealing.

She was not fourteen years old anymore. She could keep her composure around her crush.

Her crush who she was definitely, _completely_ over-

Adrien stirred in her arms, and Marinette gently rested him atop his mattress. The sheets wrinkled under his weight, his hair ruffled against his pillow, and Marinette almost swore she'd heard him let out a contented little sigh.

It was barely even ten-thirty in the morning, and she had already written this day off as a long one.

It wasn't a bad day, though. Not a bad one by a long shot.

Smiling at her friend, Marinette allowed herself a moment to sit on the edge of his bed and regain her strength. She hadn't even realized she'd been blushing until she brushed her palms against her face when she went to rub her drooping eyes. She wished she could will herself to do something other than sit there with heated cheeks. Like leave Adrien's room. That was the next logical step.

But she felt...stuck. Drawn to him.

It was probably just the sleep in her head.

She couldn't stay.

True, her Miraculous was not about to power down since she hadn't needed her Lucky Charm, but there was no feasible reason for her to stick around. This was Adrien's room, and he was asleep. She needed to leave and go home and go to bed and just forget about things for a while.

If his father came in and saw Ladybug sitting on his son's bed…

Marinette let out a soft chuckle at that.

She breathed in, held it for a moment, then exhaled slowly, her shoulders relaxing in time with her breath. Wobbling slightly, Marinette pressed a hand to her forehead and fought to keep her eyes open. They were too heavy. They were just too heavy.

She needed to go home...this was Adrien's room…and Adrien was right behind her, sleeping soundly.

Tikki buzzed at her in the back of her mind, but Marinette was too tired to care. She opened her eyes one last time, slumped backwards, and collapsed onto something soft.

Sleep was quick to overtake her.

 


	7. Is This A Bad Time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette takes a step backwards, and Chat Noir walks into an awkward situation bearing a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look at me im on a damn roll getting this chapter out not even a week after the last one and also updating TWO fics today
> 
> ...this'll probably never happen again
> 
> anyways enjoy!

The first thing that registered in Marinette's mind when she began to wake was that she was very, very comfortable.

The second was that muted sunlight was streaming through her eyelids and a dull, orange glow was just out of sight.

The third…

Well, the third was that someone was hugging her. Warm arms wrapped loosely around her waist and soft, short hair tickled the back of neck. The tip of a nose nuzzled against the little bit skin that wasn't protected by her supersuit as a breath blew against her shoulder. Marinette pressed into the source of heat behind her, which was slowly drawing back her in to the wonderful sleep she'd been experiencing moments before…

But then a quiet sigh rose up from her back, and she froze.

There was a person in bed with her. Someone was in _her_ bed. It was quite a startling factor to wake up to considering she always slept alone.

Sitting bolt upright, Marinette's eyes snapped open as she gulped in a breath of air in tune with a gasp. Her gaze darted to the large hands that draped over her thighs, and she had to muffle a scream with her palm as she realized that _she was definitely not at home in her own bed._

_Shit!_

Shutting her eyes tight, Marinette squealed softly into her gloved hands, very slowly recalling the events of the day. She'd gone to school, there had be an akuma attack; she'd fought alongside Chat Noir and purified Dreamscape's butterfly, which had been in his sleeping cap, and hadn't used her lucky charm...and she had also been very tired.

So tired that after she'd brought Adrien home, she had apparently fallen asleep in his bed.

With him.

Marinette allowed her eyes to open, and peeked at the boy to the left of her, tangled up in his blankets and blond hair a shaggy mess. His lips were slightly parted, and as he slept, his light-colored eyelashes twitched against his cheeks, signaling that he remained all the more unaware. And his hands-

Oh, god, his _hands-_

His hands rested lazily atop her thighs, jostled from her frightened awakening.

That meant he must have been...he must have…

He must have been _holding_ her.

A squeak left Marinette's mouth as she buried her face deeper into her palms. She could feel the warmth of her skin through her gloves. She needed to leave. She needed to leave _now_ and she knew she should have left earlier but god, she'd been so tired and she had made a very bad decision!

_I cuddled Adrien! We totally cuddled!_

They had cuddled once before...but that had been over a year ago on her fifteenth birthday, and they'd both been too tired to care, and Marinette had been considerably less embarrassed that time because she _hadn't been Ladybug._

Adrien cuddled Ladybug. Did Ladybug cuddle Adrien? Did she snuggle him back? She had no way of knowing. (She partly doubted she had, though, considering it seemed like Adrien had been the big spoon.)

Breathing a heavy sigh through her nose and practically pulling out her hair, Marinette nibbled at her bottom lip, nervous and flustered and a complete mess. It was time to go! Time to leave! Time to go home and scream! _Ding ding, Ladybug, this is your signal to go before Adrien wakes up!_

"Okay, okay," she whispered to herself. One of her hands snaked down to gently lift Adrien's, positioning them on his sheets instead of her lap. She froze as he stirred, her heart beating so loudly in her chest that she swore it would disturb his sleep and wake him in an instant. _Don't wake up, please don't wake up,_ Marinette internally begged. She did not feel like having to explain to Adrien why Ladybug, superheroine of Paris, had passed out in his bed.

She held her breath for approximately two seconds before she shifted, sliding her way off of the bed. One foot touched the floor, and she let out a sigh of relief as she was able to stand, plucking her yo-yo from her waist and inching her way towards the window. Just a few more steps. Just a few more steps and she'd be home-free and would have successfully avoided a very awkward conversation.

Pushing open the window, Marinette forced herself to resist the urge to spare one last glance at Adrien. She placed a foot on the windowsill and rose her arm, yo-yo at the ready-

"Ladybug?"

-and yelped.

"A-Adrien!" Marinette gasped and she turned, eyes as wide as saucers and cheeks redder than her suit. "Hey, uh, you're awake! Th-That's good."

Adrien was sitting up, his mess of blond hair making him look absolutely endearing. Puzzled, his lower lip jutted out in confusion, and he cocked his head to the side. "Did you bring me home?"

Was he blushing, or was that just her?

"Um." Marinette twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger, reverting back to her old nervous habit of nibbling her lower lip. "Y-yes. I did."

Adrien nodded, studying the wrinkled sheets. "Oh."

Marinette swallowed, silent.

Staring at her for a moment longer than what was comfortable, Adrien glanced at the side of the bed she'd been occupying not ten minutes before and held his gaze there. "...Okay. Thanks, Ladybug. I appreciate it."

"N-no problem!" Marinette's voice rose an octave. She wasn't entirely sure what to do with her hands, opting to just clasp them behind her back instead of waving them about. "A-anything for y-you, Adrien! It wasn't a problem!"

Adrien's stare settled on the rumpled blankets to his right. Quiet, he plucked at them and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it even further. The late afternoon sunlight that bounced off his skin practically made him glow, and his eyes shone like summer fields in the orange rays. His skin looked deliciously soft; Marinette knew from experience that the same arms that had been holding her earlier were very, very warm, and immeasurably comforting.

Adrien was gorgeous, no doubt. But he was also kind. And that—that was more important to Marinette than any looks he may possess.

A hum broke Marinette from her stupor, pupils dilating as she watched Adrien swing his legs to the side of the bed. He seemed contemplative, like he was thinking about something or considering whether or not he should ask a certain question. But then he graced her with one of his beautiful smiles, and Marinette knew in that moment she she was still so far _gone._

Who was she kidding, thinking she was over this boy?

Adrien stood, walking towards her. "Really," he said, smiling, "thank you. I'm sure it was a lot better for me to nap in my bed than an alleyway." He scratched behind his neck—a nervous tick Marinette had picked up on years ago. "I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble."

Marinette furiously shook her head, feeling herself becoming increasingly more flushed with every passing second. "N-not at all, I promise! I didn't mind at all! You're not hard to carry! V-very, um...nice."

"Nice?"

Groaning under her breath, Marinette slapped a palm to her face. _Nice._ "Sorry, I should leave-"

"It's okay," Adrien said, his cheeks red. Marinette would have relished in the small victory of making him blush if they weren't in such a precarious situation. "You don't...you don't, uh, have to."

Her heart skipped a beat.

Had he just offered for her to stay…?

She could stay, if he wanted her to. She could stay forever. She could stay and lay back down with him and _she_ could be the big spoon this time, and-

-and…

A sigh fell from her lips. Adrien barely knew Ladybug; he was probably just being polite. She needed to go.

"No, I do have to," she said, gesturing with her thumb to his window. "It's uh, past school and I missed my classes and my parents...wondering where I am...homedinner-—I mean, dinnerwork—ugh, sorryIgottagobye!"

She didn't allow herself another moment to embarrass herself as she swung out his window, nearing humiliation and cursing the entire way home.

* * *

Three missed calls.

Three missed calls and eight texts from Alya bombarded Marinette the moment she dropped through her trapdoor and went to check her phone.

"Crap," she hissed to herself, knowing that her best friend must be incredibly worried. She hadn't so much as given her a text after the akuma attack due to her exhaustion and now faced the consequences, guilt immediately washing over her in the form of concerned messages.

**Messaging - Alya**

**10:52 A.M.:** GIRL THAT AKUMA WAS WACK

 **10:52 A.M.:** altho i admit i feel a lot better rested now

 **11:10 A.M.:** hello mademoiselle marinette im talking 2 u

 **11:40 A.M.:** nette are you okay you usually text back by now

 **11:43 A.M.:** i s2g if dreambitch got to u im gonna find him and kick his ass

 **12:15 P.M.:** MARINETTe

 **2:52 P.M.:** you and adrien both arent back to school yet did u two take a nap together or something? without me? bc if you did thats rude and i feel left out

 **6:42 P.M.:** MARINETTE IT'S LITERALLY ALMOST 7PM

Marinette sighed, smiling despite herself. At least she had Alya there to look out for her.

(Chat Noir too, of course.)

The second to last message caused a blush to creep back upon her cheeks, and she moaned into her palm. If only Alya knew how right she was.

Deciding to forgo that thought, Marinette typed out a quick reply letting her best friend know that she was home and safe before flopping backwards onto her bed. She wasn't tired any longer, but an uneasy feeling remained in the pit of her stomach.

What would Adrien think if he knew it had been Marinette next to him? Would that make him uncomfortable? Or would he not mind because she was a friend?

Would he have still cuddled her like he had…? And more importantly, did Adrien _know_ he was cuddling Ladybug, or was it out of habit? Nino had once mentioned that Adrien always has to hold onto something while he sleeps, whether it be a pillow or, in her case, a person. And she'd very much enjoyed it.

She almost wished she hadn't left.

Adrien had been so peaceful, and the feeling of his arms around her waist had been so _nice,_ and his face in her neck had been unbelievably warm. She could faintly recall the smell of his shampoo—vanilla mint tea—and buried her face within her pillow, biting it out of frustration. He smelled so _good._ He smelled so good and he felt so soft and warm and he was _wonderful_ but more importantly, he wasn't hers.

He'd never be hers.

And here she was thinking she was finally getting over him…

"Marinette? Are you okay?"

Lifting her face from her pillow, Marinette met the indigo eyes of her kwami, which were large and full of a thousand questions. She reached out to cup Tikki in her palm and lifted her to her face, where their foreheads brushed together in a moment of comfortable silence shared by kwami and holder. Tikki pressed a tiny paw to Marinette's cheek, and Marinette leaned into the touch, her breath hitching slightly as a sudden urge to cry welled up so powerfully inside of her that she didn't even have a chance to resist it before the tears began pouring down her cheeks.

"Don't cry, Marinette," Tikki soothed, wiping her tears. "It's okay. I know it still hurts."

Marinette shook her head. "I'm not crying because it hurts," she said. "I'm crying because I'm mad at myself. I thought I was making progress, and that I was getting over him, and I was finally feeling _happy_ today, but..." A muffled sob fell from her lips. "But I still like him. I still—I still love him. No matter how hard I try not to."

Tikki said nothing. Instead, she nuzzled her Chosen's hand, gazing up at her with round, sad eyes.

"It sucks," Marinette spat. "This sucks. I'm trying to find a positive outlook on this. I'm trying to be optimistic, I _am._ But it's hard. It's hard and I just...I just want the feelings to go away, Tikki…" Her voice grew very, very quiet. "...why won't they go away?"

Mulling over her words, Tikki's antennae drooped as she offered her Ladybug a gentle smile. "Love is something incredibly difficult to erase, Marinette," she said in a calming tone. "You can't force feelings to go away, no matter how badly you want them to disappear. Whether you want them or not...your affections for Adrien are there. You can try to suppress them, and you can try to ignore them, but...in the end, time is the only way you can heal."

Marinette's lower lip trembled as she let out a small, broken whimper. "But it's been over a month, Tikki. I've had time, and I'm still finding myself as infatuated with him as I was the day he gave me that dumb umbrella." As if to make her point, she shot an icy glare at the umbrella propped in the corner of her room, hoping to intimidate it. "I fell so hard and so fast and I feel so- so _stupid._ "

"Don't call yourself that," Tikki scolded, flitting up to stare Marinette in her swollen eyes. "You are _not_ stupid, Marinette. You're a teenage girl that fell in love with a boy. You're not stupid for that."

Marinette gave a noncommittal mumble and turned her back away from her kwami, dragging her duvet over her head. "If I'm not stupid then this whole situation is just one big stupid mess."

"Stop saying that word. It's not nice."

Marinette offered nothing more than silence in response.

Tikki rolled her eyes at her Ladybug's stubbornness and placed her paws on her tiny hips, hovering above Marinette's head. "Marinette, come on. Don't be like this. I want to help you."

"I'm sulking."

"The Marinette I know doesn't sulk."

Marinette tightened the blanket over herself and muttered an unintelligible reply.

Tikki's expression flattened. "The Marinette I know takes any bad spot she's gotten herself into and turns it around to something positive. Don't let some boy make you sour."

Marinette huffed, sitting up and kicking the blanket off of her legs. "He's not just 'some boy,' Tikki, that's the problem! He's amazing and wonderful and he- he's such a great _friend_ , a friend I fell in love with and can't seem to get over-"

A knock on her trapdoor startled Marinette enough to cause her to yell and send an unfortunate stuffed cat flying. Tikki zipped off to hide, leaving Marinette to climb down from her loft and open the door, expecting to see her parents calling her down for dinner, but instead-

Instead it was Alya, the smile on her face immediately falling as she was met with the dejected expression of her sniveling best friend. She wasted no time, practically leaping into Marinette's room as she wrapped her in the biggest bear hug she could muster, squeezing her tight and rubbing her back in slow, comforting circles.

"Girl, what's wrong?" Alya asked as she fixed her glasses, which had been jostled from the hug. "Did something happen today?"

Marinette simply nodded. She silently begged the tears to stop, but they kept on, rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto Alya's shoulder. She felt slightly guilty at soaking her friend's scarf, but Alya seemed to pay no mind, more focused on the fact that her best friend was crying than the dampness of her clothing.

"Come on," Alya said. She gave Marinette a gentle push, signaling that she wanted her to go up to her balcony for some fresh air. "Let's go up, and you can tell me all about it."

* * *

One blanket and a hot cup of tea later, Marinette settled into the lounge chair that sat on her terrace, frowning down at the mug in her hands. The sun had recently set, leaving a faint pink glow over the city's blue horizon. With the sun resting, a chilly breeze came out to play, ruffling Marinette's hair and causing her to shiver as she clutched the blanket around her shoulders.

Winter would be arriving soon. Cold, bitter winter. An awful season that made her slow and tired and icy.

(The only upside was seasonal treats at the bakery and the occasional cup of homemade cocoa. Oh, and Christmas, of course.)

Pressing her palms into the warmth of her lavender mug, Marinette's shoulders drooped. Her muscles relaxed as the heat ran up her veins and into her arms. With a slight frown she remembered her favorite mug that Chat Noir had clumsily broken, and was reminded that she was waiting on him to bring her a new one. If he still planned to.

Not that it mattered all that much. She had plenty of mugs.

Scowling, Marinette set the mug down on the floor and rested her chin in her palm. She felt angry. She felt angry and frustrated and _mad,_ and she didn't really have much of a reason to other than the fact that she hated that she was still in love with someone who didn't love her back.

Tikki said that only time could rid her affections, yes, but how much time?

She didn't want to hurt like this anymore. She didn't want to love someone who- who loved someone _else._

"'Nette, what's got you so peeved?"

Pausing her silent interrogation of an innocent rose, Marinette sighed, feeling her face soften at Alya's sympathetic gaze. "Myself," she muttered, crossing her arms. The blanket fell from her shoulders but she couldn't bother to care.

Alya leaned back against the terrace railing. "Why're you mad at yourself?"

Marinette shrugged and looked away.

"Marinette, come on," Alya said. She quirked a brow at her friend's silent response. "Tell me what's going on in that beautiful little head of yours. You know I'm here to listen."

"It's silly," Marinette murmured. She didn't meet Alya's eye.

"If it's bugging you, it's not silly."

"It's really nothing."

Alya frowned at that. "Now look who's in denial."

"It's just-" Marinette squeezed her eyes shut. The urge to sob rose up in her throat again, but she fought it down with a heavy swallow. "I'm still having a really hard time dealing with my feelings. Every day I think I'm getting better, feeling happier, and then all of a sudden I see _him_ and my world is turned upside down, putting me back at square one."

The identity of "him" went unspecified. Both girls knew exactly who _him_ was.

"You can't help how you feel," Alya said, softly. She walked over to Marinette's rose bush and ran a delicate finger over some of the petals, brow furrowed as she found herself deep in thought. "Feelings are dumb and complicated but they're always gonna be there. You can't be mad at yourself for having them, girl."

Marinette heaved a sigh and scrubbed at her eyes. Her makeup smeared over her knuckles again, but she didn't mind; this was only Alya. She'd seen her in worse states. "But I still love him, Alya. I still love him so much and it fucking _sucks_ because he's got feelings for someone else and I don't even know who they are! What is it about me that he doesn't like? I'm cute, aren't I?"

Sucking her teeth, the corner of Alya's lips quirked up just a tad at her friend's question. "Of course you are, Marinette. You're the cutest person I know. But the thing is," she said, plucking a rose from the bush and placing it behind Marinette's ears. "I know it might not be fun to hear it, but you aren't exactly entitled to Adrien's feelings. I get it: you want to be mad at him. But you know you can't. He's not at fault for his feelings, and neither are you."

Tears pooled from Marinette's eyes and flooded her cheeks. "I know," she whimpered. "I know, I know. I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at myself and I'm frustrated because of how I still feel about him. I just wish-" she buried her face within her hands, and her voice cracked. "I wish he hadn't told me he likes another person. You know how I get jealous. I wish- I just wish it would have been me."

Alya's frown deepened at the sight of best friend, normally confident and optimistic Marinette, reduced to a puddle of sobs because of a boy. Oh, this sucked. This sucked a whole lot and it was going to take a lot of time for her wounds to heal.

"C'mere," Alya said. She lifted her friend from the chair and sat down with her in her arms, allowing Marinette to curl up in her lap and blubber onto her favorite scarf. Oh, well. It could be fixed with a simple wash.

Marinette, however…

Marinette needed a lot more than a simple fix.

"It's okay," Alya whispered, hands running up and down her best friend's sides. "It's okay, 'Nette. This'll all go away eventually."

"I just want it to all be over and done with," Marinette croaked. "I messed things up between Adrien and I, Alya. We can barely look at each other anymore. It's so awkward, and there's so much that goes unsaid, and I feel like our whole relationship has gone back to how it was when we were fourteen. I stutter and I try to run away as quickly as possible, and even when I tell myself that I need to stop, I can't help it."

Alya patted her back. "Why do you want to run away from him, Marinette? I'm sure he's hurting some, too. He probably misses being your friend."

"I…" Marinette paused for a moment. She blinked her wet eyes, sniffling as her vision grew bleary. "I'm afraid that being around him is just going to remind me that- that I'll never be anything more than a friend to him, you know? That someone else is better. That someone else has captured his heart in a way I can never dream to. That…" Her voice grew so quiet that Marinette herself couldn't even tell if she was speaking. "That whoever that person is better treat him like he's their whole world, because he deserves it. I don't want him to hurt like I am."

"Is this a bad time?"

Both girls snapped their heads up to see a very embarrassed looking Chat Noir propped up like his namesake on the railing of the terrace, one hand gripping the metal and the other holding up a black mug with green pawprints, wrapped in a pretty red bow.

"Wh-" Alya began to cough, choking on her own words. "Ch-Chat Noir!? What in the hell?"

Chat nervously scratched at the back of his neck, cheeks heated underneath his mask. "Okay, so I'll just leave this here and leave. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything-"

Marinette was standing now, wiping at her face with her arm. She didn't meet Chat Noir's eye, clutching the blanket around herself as she spoke in a voice so feeble it was nearly inaudible, "It's okay."

Chat Noir went to set the mug on the floor, but instead paused, his ears drooping atop his mop of blond hair and gentle eyes softening. He went to move towards her, but Alya took a hesitant step in front of her best friend, unsure.

Chat remained where he was. "Are you...okay?" he asked Marinette, reaching out a hand before thinking better of it and retracting it to his side.

Marinette shook her head. She took the mug from his hand, holding it to her chest and running her thumbs over the smooth edges, inspected it closely. After a dreadfully long moment of silence, her lips twitched upwards into a small, barely-there smile. Her eyes met Chat's. With a broken chuckle, she said, "Thank you."

Chat Noir returned her smile, just so. "N-no problem, Marinette. Sorry I broke your other one. I told you I would bring you a new one, didn't I?"

"You did," Marinette replied with a nod. She looked down to the mug again. "It's nice. I like it, thank you."

"He broke one of your mugs?" Alya cut in, hands on her hips. "Um, I love you, Marinette, but were you planning on telling me that literal superhero Chat-fucking-Noir came to your _house_ one day, broke one of your mugs and offered to buy you a new one? Like, holy hell!"

Marinette laughed quietly. "I was going to talk to you about it today, actually…but then Dreamscape attacked, and…" Her thoughts wandered back to the place she'd taken a nap earlier in the day—to the face of the boy she'd come to love so much—and her heart _ached._ "And…I…"

Both Alya and Chat's eyes widened as Marinette suddenly broke down into another fit of tears, falling to her knees and hugging them tightly to her chest, mug still in hand.

"Hey, hey, Mari," Chat Noir consoled, immediately crouching down on the wooden flooring to hover his hands over her shoulders. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"She won't tell me the whole story," Alya said. "She's stubborn like that."

Marinette covered her face with the fuzzy pink blanket that had thus far been her protector, miserable whimpers seeping from her throat. "It'd be easier if there was something bad about him," she cried. "It would be easier for me to get over him that way. But he's so- so g-good. And he's such a nice person, so k-kind and wonderful and caring, and so beautiful, and- god." Her sobs were coming full force now, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

"Marinette," Alya said, her voice soft; comforting. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay."

Chat Noir went silent, his pupils thinning for just a split second before he looked away, guilt heavy in his gaze. Alya spared him a curious glance but said nothing more, instead wrapping her best friend up in her arms and resuming rubbing her back.

"Shh," Alya whispered. She pulled Marinette close, hugging her tight. "It's alright, girl. I'm here, I'm here."

"I just wish things were different...I wish..." Marinette sighed, stopping where she was. There was no use dwelling over "I wishes" and "what ifs." She just had to accept the present as it was and move on from it. It was the only way she could get better. She needed to stay optimistic.

Marinette's wracking sobs eventually subsided to a gentle snivel, her eyes swollen and red and face drenched with smeared makeup and tears. She felt quite embarrassed that Chat Noir had seen her that way...but then again, he had seen her bloody and beaten as Ladybug, so it wasn't much of a difference...

Speaking of Chat, he wasn't saying much, was he?

Looking up from her tear-stained blanket, Marinette met Chat Noir's gaze and nearly flinched at the amount of sadness that swam within it. He looked so...so down, almost as if...almost as if he was lost in regret.

Did he regret coming to see her tonight? She wouldn't doubt it. She was a mess. He probably felt awkward.

"I'm sorry you guys have to see me like this," Marinette said. She didn't exactly feel like she needed to apologize for her feelings, but for the crying...well.

"It's okay," Alya said once more. She looked tired; Marinette felt bad for keeping her. It wasn't exactly early anymore, and there had been a sleep-inducing akuma roaming the city earlier that day. Perhaps she should just pretend she was okay so Alya could go home and get some rest.

"Are you-" Chat spoke up but had to pause to clear his throat, as his voice had wavered. "Are you going to be okay, Marinette?"

Marinette looked down at her hands. Black was smudged across her skin. Was she going to be okay?

True, she had been through worse in life. She was Ladybug—defender of Paris. She'd been beaten down by villain after villain, suffered injuries and done back flips off of the Eiffel Tower with Chat Noir by her side. She had stopped petty crimes, plenty of robbers or gunmen, and had even been shot in the arm, once.

(Of course Tikki's magic had fixed that as soon as she'd thrown her Lucky Charm into the air, but she could still remember how much it had hurt. The suits didn't protect them from everything, after all.)

Was the pain of not having her feelings reciprocated more agonizing than a bullet to the arm? Was it really?

It wasn't. No way.

She would get through this with her head held high. Even if she had to cry every now and then.

She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Class president for two years and running, baker's daughter, winner of design competitions across Paris, and superheroine Ladybug. She would be just fine.

"Yes," she said confidently, using the blanket to wipe away her tears. "Yes. I'll be okay, Chat Noir. You don't have to worry about me." She looked to Alya, a hint of a smile toying at the corners of her lips. "And you don't have to either, Al. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. If I can jump off a building, I can handle heartbreak."

Alya seemed pleased with her statement for a moment before her face contorted with confusion, and her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "Excuse me? Jump off a _building?_ Marinette, what the fuck? What do you do in your free time, parkour?"

Chat Noir's ears snapped up in surprise. "You shouldn't do that, Mari! You'll break a bone or something, oh my god! Just because Ladybug and I do it doesn't mean it's safe for you to!"

Marinette clapped a hand over her mouth as she realized her slip-up. Heh, that was two Ladybug-related accidents today…

"Joking!" she laughed, quite forcefully. "I was- I was, erm, joking...haha..."

Alya and Chat Noir shared a puzzled look before they gave in, somewhat convinced. They sat in a circle for a few moments, the terrace quiet save for the distant sound of cars whizzing along the street or the occasional group of people that walked down below. Chat's tail idly brushed the flooring as it swished back and forth, and Alya tapped her nails on the hardwood, before she cocked her head and frowned thoughtfully.

"Why do you call her that, by the way?" she asked, staring at Chat Noir.

Chat looked up from the streaks of wet makeup on Marinette's blanket. "Call who what?"

Alya glanced at Marinette before her eyes settled back on the black-clad superhero. "You call Marinette, 'Mari.' That was sort of a nickname someone else gave her."

Marinette glowered at that.

"Oh, um," Chat said, looking away. "I dunno, uh, I guess...cuz it fits? You know, shorten Marinette to Mari, just like you shortened it to 'Nette earlier, uh...nicknames. Cute." He offered a helpless (almost painful looking) shrug, and couldn't exactly hold his eyes on anything for longer than a second at a time.

"Oh," was all Alya could say.

Another silence passed between them, more awkward than the last.

"So how long have you two been like...visiting each other?" Alya asked.

"He doesn't visit me," Marinette answered quickly, hugging her knees. "He just passed by the other night and accidentally knocked my mug off of the railing."

Chat Noir shrugged helplessly and offered a strained chuckle. "Yeah…she threatened to hit me with a broom."

Alya immediately erupted into laughter, and Marinette snorted, giving Chat a light tap on the shoulder. "I did _not!_ "

"I can see you doing that," Alya snickered, wiping a tear from her eye. "You'd totally whack someone with a broom."

Smirking, Chat Noir bumped Marinette's shoulder with his own, leaning down so that they were eye-level. Even when sitting, he was so much taller than her. "She wouldn't have the heart to injure a poor stray like me. Would you, Marinette?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Marinette retorted with a grin of her own, pushing his face away with a finger pressed to his nose. Chat laughed in response and shot her a toothy smile.

Alya narrowed her eyes at their behavior. To her, it seemed as if...as if they knew each other or something…

A weird feeling tugged at her stomach, but she elected to ignore it. That gesture was just a little too familiar for her tastes.

"Well," Marinette said after a moment. "I'm tired, and I need to eat dinner and take a shower. Alya, you can join if you want."

Chat Noir's face flushed and the brows of his mask shot up into his hairline. "Um-"

"She meant for dinner," Alya laughed, knowing what she'd meant. "Although if she was offering me to shower with her, I wouldn't say no. Girl's got a pink shower and the _best_ smelling soap in the world. It's cute as hell."

Marinette grinned at Chat Noir's expression and rolled her eyes, opening up the latch of her trapdoor. "Goodnight, Chat Noir," she said, voice and eyes soft in thanks. "I love the mug, by the way. I think it's my new favorite."

Chat Noir's cheeks warmed at that, and a wide grin spread across his face.

As Marinette jumped down onto her bed and the door shut, Alya stood and placed her hands on her hips, regarding Chat with a smile. "It was kind of bad timing for you to stop by tonight," she chuckled, shaking her head, "but thanks. Marinette's been having a hard time lately and needs all the friends she can get. I think that mug cheered her up, too."

Chat Noir responded with a weak smile of his own, pushing himself to his feet and dusting off his backside. "Yeah...sounds like she's taking rejection pretty hard. Whoever hurt her must be a real asshole."

"He's not," Alya assured. She crossed her arms, unappreciative of the name he'd unknowingly given to one of her closest friends. "He's like a literal puppy—nicest guy in the whole world. She just...she just loved him a lot, you know? It was weird. They weren't dating, but she loved him like they were. I think that's why it's hitting her so hard...I don't think she ever thought he would have feelings for somebody else."

"O-oh," Chat whispered. His ears drooped and his tail sat still, dragging on the floor. "That...must be hard for her."

Alya nodded, but gave the superhero a wink, patting him on the shoulder. "Yeah, but she's the strongest girl I know. As strong as Ladybug, even. She'll get through this just fine."

Chat Noir swallowed and met her honey eyes, forcing the smile to stay on his face. "I hope so."

A quietude fell between them. Alya opened her mouth to say something more, but the sound of the trapdoor opening caused her to turn, Marinette's head poking out from the opening with a curious expression on her face.

"Alya, you coming?" she asked, face clean and rid of the black smudges from before. "My mom said there's dumplings and vegetables in the fridge if you want some."

Alya's stomach growled at the sound of dinner, and she nodded. "Coming, 'Nette," she said, before turning back to Chat Noir. "See ya, alley-cat. Say hi to Ladybug for me, will you?"

Chat nodded. His throat feeling tight. "I-I will," he said. "I'll do that. Goodnight."

And then he was gone, shakily vaulting over Marinette's terrace and into the dark of the night. Alya stood there for a moment longer, unmoving, mind reeling with thought after thought.

Chat Noir wasn't acting like himself...where was the cocky, arrogant cat that flirted with Ladybug and had an arson of puns at his ready?

He looked...sad. Hurt. Perhaps even a little regretful.

And since when were he and Marinette acting so chummy?

Humming thoughtfully, Alya turned and went to slip back into Marinette's room. Something was definitely off with that cat, and the reporter within her vowed do whatever she could to get to the bottom of it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to update about once or twice a month, but I do have a life to live, so I apologize if updates take longer!
> 
> As always, my tumblr is @frostedpuffs, so if you want to shoot me a message or give me a follow, feel free!
> 
>   **Also, just something important: Please do NOT ask me when I'm updating or tell me to update. It's stressful and I had a big issue with that on my last fic and it deters me from writing. I will try to update twice a month. I'm currently a college student juggling homework and working my jobs so I will write when I have the time.**


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